Joe Kelly (2)

Fathers are the primary male role models in a girl’s life. Sometimes their modeling is for the better and other times for the worst. In the best of worlds, over time a father is an active participant in a girl’s life, nurturing her development through all stages from infancy to adulthood and continuing to stay connected to their daughter in healthy ways throughout the life span. And in the worst of outcomes? Sadly, the evening news has too many stories of girls victimized by fathers, or through the failure of fathers to protect their daughters.

To help men find their ways as fathers Joe Kelly, an advocate and educator on the topic of fathers and fatherhood, has written Dads and Daughters, a book with the goal of teaching fathers how to inspire, understand and support their daughters.

Kelly opens with a chapter on building a father-daughter relationship. He follows this with seven chapters that address specific issues, exploring how they relate to daughters in particular and unique ways. Among these issues are topics such as body image and the ways in which media shapes the view that women have of themselves and that society has of women. His overall goal is for fathers to do their part in helping their daughters arrive at adulthood able to function autonomously, and yet also in constructive relationships with others.
Kelly writes in a manner that is easy to read, with the pages frequently interspersed with the comments of others on the topic at hand. He has conducted much research, not of the dry and/or academic kind, but of the kind that is gathered through being in frequent conversation with fathers. When reading these comments it was is if I could hear these other fathers talking conversationally to me.

A particular strength of the book is that at the end of each chapter Kelly has included a section labeled “Tools.” The things included in these short sections are practical ways in which a father may delve more deeply into that topic with their daughter.

One area in which I felt the book was weak was in its absence of any sense of the role of spirituality, faith, religion, or whatever a person wants to call it, as a father does his part in raising his daughter. I recognize that I have my own particular reference point in this regard but I also believe that Kelly could have provided at least some cursory information that would have encouraged readers that were so inclined to seek out additional resources on their own.

I have raised one daughter through the stages Kelly discusses and I expect to spend another 15 or so years raising my youngest. In reading this book I appreciated the opportunity to reflect on my past as a father and to also look forward to my ongoing future as one. My girls are very different but they each need what Kelly is attempting to provide, a father who desires the best for their daughter and actively does his part in nurturing her throughout her life.… (altro)