Steve BiddulphRecensioni

The book emphasized on how men can help boys grow into manhood. Gives me food for thought on the importance giving my son a community that supports him in relationship building, academic enadeavors, and understanding/development of his own masculinity.I like the "In a Nutshell" review for each chapter. (Better than the chapters themselves. The suggestions are more clear cut and I don't get distracted by anecdotes and descriptions.)

Este livro escrito por um terapeuta familiar há mais de 20 anos ajuda a resolver problemas concretos da educação de nossos filhos, de uma forma prática e dinâmica ele ensina pais e educadores a cuidar da alimentação, da personalidade das crianças e de nós próprios de modo que possamos ser pessoas mais felizes e equilibradas.

Der Psychologe und Familientherapeut Steve Biddulph gibt Eltern Handlungsanleitungen zu einem entspannteren und konfliktfreieren Umgang mit ihrem Nachwuchs. Hier erfahren Eltern, was in ihren Kindern wirklich vor sich geht und wie man am besten darauf reagiert.
«... ein tatsächlich einzigartiges Buch, das die üblichen Ratgeber weit hinter sich lässt ...»

Der australische Familientherapeut Steve Biddulph plädiert für ein neues Verständnis von Jungen: Sie gehen mit Leistungsdruck anders um als Mädchen und geraten häufiger in Schwierigkeiten. Biddulph zeigt Eltern, was in ihren Söhnen wirklich vorgeht, und erläutert, wie sie zu glücklichen und selbstbewussten Männern heranwachsen.

For people with very small lives ONLY.

On reading this limp 'self help' book I felt embarrassed for the author: He's still only there? I constantly thought.

The author has very little life experience, has ignorantly assessed himself as some sort of suburban Buddha, and then written this lame book of skin-crawling 'wisdom' to those with even plainer lives.... at his local church NB. The only good thing in this whole book are some of the quotes, of which there are a strangely large amount - because the author could not integrate the wisdom contained in these quotes into his own world view.

If you, yourself, have been out and about, heard some lions raw and even smelt their bad breath, then this is not the book for you!

If you social experience revolves around a white church, then maybe.

‘Love starts out as a blessing, even a fluke, but it continues as an achievement!’
Steve and Shaaron Biddulph

Steve and Shaaron Biddulph’s classic book on how to find and grow the love between a man and a woman has been credited with saving the marriages of couples across the globe.

Written in their earthy, honest and warm style, and revised and updated for the twenty-first century, it includes:

How to recognise and balance the levels of connection – loving, lusting
and liking – in your relationship
How commitment can be built up in small, safe steps
How having children helps you grow up!
Getting through the crises that every couple has
The changes that children bring, and how to make these a plus

A long-term loving relationship is an achievement – a craft – and it can take years to develop. The Making of Love is unique in that it explores the issues that couples face from both the male and female point of view, and illustrates these through moving stories from people’s lives.

This is a revised and updated version of Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys. Now in an increasingly complicated and nuanced world, raising boys to become emotionally strong, kind and resilient men is even more important and relevant. In response to calls from parents around the world Steve Biddulph has completely updated and revised his seminal work to include all the latest international information and advice for parents on all the key issues of today such as : gender brain and hormonal development including latest findings on testosterone, transgender/gay/sexuality development, boys and crying, boys and 'bad' behaviour, reading and communication, countering the effects of porn. Steve says: "Right now, the world badly needs good men. Your boy can be one of those who grow up so much better, and help to heal the world. Thank you for joining the boy revolution. As the 21st century rolls on, it's badly needed. Enjoy your boy, love him well, and set him free to fly in his own special way."

Girls are in the news – for all the wrong reasons. Once upon a time, people worried rather a lot about boys; academically, they were trailing behind girls; culturally, they were struggling to find a place to fit into the modern world. In the last few years the media’s focus has shifted to the various pressures girls are under, which is why Steve Biddulph, author of ‘Raising Boys’, has now turned his hand to writing about girls.

What’s it about?
◦The problems girls face today and how these differ from those faced by boys.
◦How to raise girls who can resist social pressure and listen to their parents.
◦Biddulph proposes there are five stages of girlhood and explains what each entails, suggesting each involves learning a key lesson. If this key lesson is not learned, it will impact negatively on future habits and lifestyle. (For instance, he suggests that people who didn’t get enough love in their mother’s arms become drug addicts.)

What’s it like?

Interesting. Worrying. Potentially controversial in places.

Bidduloh approaches the concept of becoming a girl from an evolutionary psychology perspective (which I know may alienate some people immediately!) and considers how the modern world is affecting primitive needs and responses.

Somewhat unfashionably, he advises taking time out of the pressured modern world to spend the first year or two with the baby, and his approach is similarly hands-on from thereon. He’s insistent that, ‘If you do parenthood even half well, it will rearrange your world.’ Controlled crying is unacceptable (it teaches learned helplessness and depression) and, whilst you should avoid becoming a martyr, your teenaged daughter should know that she can always call you at 3am if she needs to be picked up. Thrusting a tenner into her hand for a cab home later is seen as cavalier at best, irresponsible at worst. These are not stances that all parents will appreciate, and though Biddulph’s opinions are substantiated with some references to research, it is clear that these are his personal hobbyhorses, so don’t expect it to feel like a balanced argument!

If this insistence on completely rearranging your life to suit your children doesn’t depress you, the chapters on hazards still might. The horrors of the online world are spelt out and made me feel horribly naïve. I was already aware of the existence of pro-suicide sites, but the notion of pro-ana and pro-mia sites was a new and revolting concept.* Similarly, while I’m familiar with the easy access to sexual content facilitated by the internet (note to self: never again google ‘girls struggling’ without further clarification), the proliferation of sexting among the very young was another shocker that had me vowing my daughter will not own a mobile until she is at least 13. Biddulph has suggestions to tackle these dangers of course, though I think they could mostly be distilled into one key piece of advice: focus on creating great relationships with your daughter. Everything else will follow.

Final thoughts

While I appreciate that girls have particular pressures placed on them, especially by the eruption of social media (you can be anything you want! as long as you’re gorgeous and skinny!), most of Biddulph’s advice was equally applicable to boys, and it’s hard not to shout ‘sexism!’ when he advocates giving girls a ‘craft room’ or other space to make things and giving boys a shed to, er, make different things. While this could be seen as a surrender to stereotypes, Biddulph argues that ‘in practice’ it is actually liberating and creates safe havens for girls.

Certainly this is in interesting read, especially in Biddulph’s discussion of the modern family and schooling system. Arguably, the school structure militates against inter-generational friendships, thereby encouraging youngsters to have only one friendship or peer group, which means there’re no alternative viewpoints and no opportunity to guide a younger child or learn from an older one. Similarly, the modern focus on the nuclear, as opposed to the extended, family has led to a decline in the number of girls (and boys) experiencing valuable aunt / uncle relationships with older adults whom they respect and can feel safe with outside their immediate circle. I can definitely see the value in encouraging my children to engage with multiple friendship groups and with appropriate other adults.

Biddulph’s style is anecdotal and chatty and won’t suit all parents, but as a starting point for thinking about what children need from their parents, it’s worth reading.

* Pro-ana and pro-mia are websites dedicated to promoting anorexia and bulimia, with tips for how to really mess up your body. Frightening stuff.

I read almost off all this book in one sitting. Most of the books I've tried to read about raising girls come from a religious perspective and are way too preachy for me. This one offered some interesting insights into girls' developmental stages from birth to 18, offering ideas on how to keep daughters strong, healthy and confident. I think it could be used to launch some interesting conversations with my kids.

This was an interesting read with some straightforward ideas for what is important when raising girls as they pass through different ages. It's a bit anecdotal and a bit grating in places but overall was useful and made me think about the tools I need to equip my daughter with as she grows up.

Another very helpful practical guide from Steve Biddulph. One of the most interesting parts of this book for me was the discussion of softlove and firmlove, the need for both, and the tendency for parents to often emphasise one over the other. Also, a presentation of a different method of discipline called 'stand and think', which is similar in some ways to the now famous 'naughty step/corner', but focussed on resolution rather than punishment. I especially like the straightforward way the material is presented.

An excellent book. The subtitle says it all: "Helping your daughter to grow up wise, warm and strong". Describes each of the stages of girlhood, and what girls need at each stage, from their parents and from others, and how best to give your daughter the skills to be independent and strong, especially with all the things girls have to negotiate at this point in history. Very useful, direct and clear.

I enjoyed this immensely: Biddulph's writing is clear and easy to read, humourous at the right times and sensitive and non-judgemental throughout. He goes through the various phases of male life - both physical and social - like childhood, adolesence, marriage, sex, etc. He makes it clear how much men suffer under traditional 'patriarchy' (not at the expense of women's suffering, mind you), and how much of that goes on unbeknownst to both men and women. I would recommend this book to both men and women who have a desire to understand themselves and their friends/partners/etc. better.

Por que os meninos são diferentes?
O aue o pai e mãe podem fazer?
Como torná-los homens equilibrados e felizes?

Sobering book that shakes your views of nurseries and the impact on your child's development and upbringing. Emphasis on the huge difference between love and care that is in effect the difference between raising your children yourself versus a nursery.

Great book that emphases the importance of the mothers influence in teaching them about love and what it means to be love until 6 years of age. Thereafter the important role fathers play in providing a role model for the boy until the age of 13. Thereafter the important role mentors play in the boys development. Great read for first time mom and dads.

There are a lot of books out there about boys and how to raise them, and as the mother of two, I had read nearly all of them when I got to this one. This is the only one that impacted how I parent.

Biddulph gives research-based information about the physiology of boys (one example: males' fine motor skills tend to develop later), and follows it with practical suggestions (such as delaying school entrance by a year, to give those fine motor skills a chance to catch up). Moving up through adolescence and young adulthood, Biddulph gives ideas for giving boys the type of support they need to transition successfully to manhood.

Just a really good short read for novice busy parents looking for ways to sort out your kids other than shout at them. Some of the ideas sound crummy but when put into use are surprisingly effective.½

Had this book for several years now. A good read for women with sons who only grew up with sisters, went to an all girls school and then into nursing and had no idea how it is for growing boys. The wiring is very different!! This book helps to understand that. I am also convinced that young boys need positive male role models in order to suceed.

While Biddulph makes some interesting and valid points, much of this book annoys me. Perhaps it is because so many points are made without much back-up information, it is more just "Well, i say this, therefore it is right". Perhaps it is just too simplistic in places. Which is a shame, because there ARE some good points in here, especially about shaping the emotional maturity of boys, especially by parental modelling. It just could have been packaged differently, and better.