Jeff StrandRecensioni

An easy 5-star review! This is well written and a must-read. One exciting twist after another. I couldn't put it down. How far would you go to keep your family safe?

With all the coolness of the Dude (Big Lebowski), the cynicism of film-noir and its characteristically witty one-liners , Jeff Strand’s Blister is a very enjoyable read.

Jeff Strand’s Wolf Hunt has been described to me as a horror comedy. Well, I don’t like horror comedies. With me it’s either or. Therefore, my first instinct was to pass over Jeff Strand’s Offering. But then I remembered having enjoyed reading Strand’s “Blisters” and decided to give this a chance. Within minutes I was hooked. Its comedic elements are delicate and well placed witticisms owned by the characters themselves; fortunately, the plot itself is kept free of parody or satire. From start to end, the protagonists, a duo of charming thugs, crank out a cornucopia of taunting remarks towards each other and their supernatural antagonist who skillfully returns the favor with character fitting ripostes of the macabre kind that are no less funny. For all of this, the author doesn’t forget to inject the plot with just the right amount of deadly seriousness. After all, our thuggish yet lovable heroes have to make it their business to hunt a werewolf whose razor-sharp claws and quips are equally vicious.Summa summarum, this is a solid hands-on werewolf story sans over the top fantasy elements that so often plague the genre; its noir-style dry humor only adds to it.

Fans of Very Bad Things might enjoy Graverobbers Wanted: No Experience Necessary

What starts off as an innocent meeting over coffee between friends turns into an unusual job proposal from a woman Andrew and Roger have never met. The gig? $20,000 to dig up a coffin and find a key.

Seems simple enough. The coffin isn’t buried that deep, it is in a private place, and they don’t have to do anything with the body. Just find the key and rebury the coffin. Except when they unearth the pine box, the man inside isn’t dead. At least not immediately, and suddenly, $20,000 doesn’t seem like enough.

Crossbow darts fly. Someone gets knocked unconscious. Andrew and Roger end up in a secluded cabin, bag over their heads, potentially eavesdropping on a murder. Flash forward to the ditch they are dumped in, their hitchhiking misadventures with a man called The Apparition, and the ultimate cat-and-mouse game that ensues, and Andrew and Roger wish they had never involved themselves with the likes of Ghoulish Delights, a choose-your-own-horror-adventure company whose real product is much darker than amateur horror films.

This story is a super-fast read that I knocked out in three sittings. One of those books where the plot twists go from bad to worse. I had to know what was going to happen next as poor Andrew Mayhem’s life gets dismantled over the course of a few terrible days. He’s a lovable loser as characters go, and I mean that in the best possible way. The guy just doesn’t win a lot. He means well. He loves his wife and kids, but if something can get screwed up, it feels like he’s the man for the job. He tries so hard to uncover the identity of the killer in this gore-fest amateur sleuth mystery akin to Saw or Hostel in horror intensity.

Probably not for the squeamish, this one involves a lot of dismemberment and still manages to be mildly clever. I’ve been on a horror-comedy run with Jack Townsend’s Tales from the Gas Station and now Jeff Strand’s Graverobbers Wanted: No Experience Necessary, which feel a little like Max Booth III’s How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers only in the escalating bumbling of inept-but-comical main characters. If you like the horror-comedy mashup, you can do worse than any of these books, of which Graverobbers Wanted holds distinction as most gruesome.

A fun read and the first in a five-book series featuring Andrew Mayhem, Graverobbers Wanted: No Experience Necessary earns a solid four-star rating and is recommended for fans of the genre with stronger constitutions. I can’t wait for book two, already cued up on my Kindle.

Casket for Sale (Used Only Once) is the third in the Andrew Mayhem series and the first featuring Andrew’s wife, Helen Mayhem, in her own voice, which I really enjoyed. She could have her own series about what it’s like to be married to such a trouble magnet and I’d probably go along for that ride. This time, Helen, the Mayhem children, their pug, Roger, and his new squeeze Samantha head out for a little group R&R.

Rest and relaxation is never on the menu when Andrew Mayhem is involved so it is no surprise when their RV camping trip takes the worst of wrong turns leaving the group, again, at the mercy of a band of lunatics.

Much like Single White Psychopath Seeks Same, the story is a sort of a hack-and-slash rampage across a town where pretty much no one lives, works, or travels through. Each car that takes this road leads the travelers to a nasty fate. There is no police presence to speak of and there are traps everywhere. A few times, I just shook my head.

Plot holes aside, this book is creatively demented in the same way the previous installment was. If you like to read about crazy people doing implausible things to folks who survive everything, and you’re not averse to your goons being named things like Goblin, Witch, and Medusa, then hey, Casket for Sale is a good time.

I went back and forth on rating this one 3 or 4 stars and settled on 3.5 rounded up because the characters of Samanta and Helen brought something new to the table. These are smart, capable women. Not victims. I liked that. Not much of a plot here and I don’t love children getting hurt, but it’s horror, and there are definitely a few cringe-worthy scenes that straddle the line between gut-wrenching and sort of hilarious. Recommended for fans of sadistic psychopathy.

Naw. It started out okay with an evil kid (with the main character heavily hinted at being probably evil), but got ridiculous and unforgivably bad a bit over the half-way mark. It's like the author just started throwing stereotypical "psycho" shit at the wall to see what would stick. No thanks. I'll pass on the second half of the book. I don't care about what happens to any of them.

I like Strand's writing. He's fun and scary. Creepy and laugh out loud. This book falls into his teen reader market, not the scarier stuff that he writes for adults. But that's ok, because Strand's writing is about real people falling into weird and crazy situations. And because I think Strand hooked my 10 year old on horror. As soon as we finished reading this book together, she immediately had to go to Barnes and Noble and find more Strand. I'm hoping that it sticks. We'll find out.

Picked up this book as I'm a long time fan of F. Paul Wilson. This book was brilliant - a bit of a different take on vampires, and I enjoyed every single page. Wish it was longer, since it was such an enjoyable storie.

2.5, I do kind of love the concept but the humour really didn't land for me and it just sort of lacks punch

In the desert town of Cromay, New Mexico, resident Mike Fradella returns home from a day of work and an evening of unwinding downing three beers. A tree meets his return coming up from his porch. At first, he considers this nothing more than a prank done by the local teenagers but there is still something unsettling about this. He calls the sheriff and upon his arrival, things start becoming weird as trees spring from the ground. As these trees appear all over the small town, the body count goes up.

Fast forward a few years later, A Haunted Forest Touring company offers a chance on Halloween to view the forest inside rather than around. Those lucky to manage to get their hands on a ticket will get a once-in-a-lifetime experience of the forest and its monsters up close and personal. But this tour is doomed from the start. Forced out of their tram, the group finds itself dwindling as the forest inhabitants decide to make them a tasty meal.

Honestly, I was surprised that I was able to devour this book so quickly. I won't lie when I say the entire storyline was filled with gruesome deaths, monsters both from the gates of hell to creatures right out of nightmares, and on the edge of your chair as survivors struggle to stay alive inside of being picked off by the monsters.

This was a unique take on the horror genre. I have read a lot of horror books in my past but I am going to say this one will stand out against all the others. The tale is unique. The deaths are filled with gore. The ending was not something I was expecting. Nevertheless, it was a bit satisfying but a bit anti-climactic.

Final Thought:
If you are looking for a tale of horror, then definitely pick this book up. It will be the perfect Halloween read.½

Introducing Andrew Mayhem & his best friend Roger. Andrew is between jobs and is currently doing a little P.I. work by photographing cheating spouses. A chance meeting with a woman who has a high paying, slightly illegal job has Andrew seeing easy money. What starts out as a "dig up a coffin & retrieve a key from it" turns into so much more. The client is now missing, dead people are turning up, and a killer has drawn Andrew into a game of sick proportions. Trying to solve the mystery with the help of Roger and trying to keep his wife & kids safe has Andrew digging deep for any courage he has left to finish the game that may end of in his death

Good mix of horror, humor and detective style mystery.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to rate this one at times. A solid three at the start that I didn’t think would catch on beyond that. Some of the actions of the supporting characters, like the cops' decisions after some dire circumstances, left me saying, "yeah right, they wouldn’t step aside after something like that!"

But Strand pulls everything together by the end, leaving me with enough answers to those borderline plausible situations to be satisfied. He plays with a few recognizable crutches of the genre, like the evil villain explaining everything behind his master plan, but there’s a self awareness to it that makes it work.

If this was a ten star scale, I’d rank this a 7ish, or the equivalent, 3.7ish, which rounds this up to a 4...

Andrew Mayhem is just what he sounds like—a bumbling novice detective in a truly horrific situation.

3/5.

A silly, gory, ridiculous, funny-at-times, macabre collection of short fiction from Jeff Strand. This was my first foray in to Strand's work, and I enjoyed some of the stories. I did find myself regularly underwhelmed by the climax's of many of them, though, and feel like there could have been more effort put in to that. I like short stories, both as a reader and a writer, and there's some good ones here, but there are some poor ones too. Still, this was an easy and quick read and I had fun with it.

This is not your typical boy meets monster, boy befriends monster book. There are enough twists and turns throughout the book to keep the excitement level ratcheted up throughout the book. This is one of the best horror novels I've read, and I thoroughly enjoyed each page.

You know that old saying that when something's too good to be true, it probably is? Ethan Causin doesn't seem to have learned this. After losing big in a casino, Ethan is approached by a stranger who proposes he play a game that can solve all his money problems. The catch? The consequences of losing could be deadly.

The story starts off slow and it took me a few chapters to get into things. Once I did, this ended up being a quick and compelling read. While not nearly as gory, I was reminded of the SAW movies with the crazy scenarios Ethan has to solve as part of the game. I am disappointed we didn't get more information about the organization behind the game. It ends well enough, all things considered. I'm truly surprised at Ethan by the end and his final actions. Big kudos to his wife Jenny also for being willing to take part if needed. Perhaps some day there will be a sequel.½

OK, you can think of this as a feeling guilty review. Originally I meant to write something up but I've been swamped lately. As such, I simply rated the book 4 stars in my usual spots and moved on. But then I got a bunch of likes on my "review". It was a rating, not a review. Anyway, then I got a like on my rating by F. Paul Wilson! Gah, one of the authors is liking my simplistic 4 stars rating and I can't even write a couple hundred words on his book!? Guilt, guilt, guilt.

Then as the words were noodling in my head but before I could make the time to write up a proper review, J.A. Konrath likes my rating! Double gah! Now I truly have to get something written and posted soon! Otherwise I might end up with Strand and/or Crouch liking my rating too!

There turned to be a really nice blending of all the authors into a single book. I was expecting something along the lines of each chapter being written by a different author and a slightly disconnected feeling. Instead this is a true co-author book in that it's one story which happens to be written by four people. There were scenes where I guessed "lots of humor, I think Strand wrote this" or "medical jargon that sounds accurate, probably Wilson" but in reality, I had no idea if I was right or not. Doesn't matter because it was very enjoyable.

The story focuses on a eccentric billionaire who's dying and is able to retrieve a skull hypothesized as Dracula's skull. The billionaire infects himself and during his metamorphosis, he infects many others. Death and mayhem ensues.

As I mentioned, I was really enjoying the story when suddenly it ended. Right at the mid-point of the book. The story itself truly did end; it wasn't an abrupt ending. It was more a wtf moment of I'm literally at 50% of the book completed. What useless fluff was left to read. It turned out to be a lot, and actually not fluff at all. First there were a few short stories, enjoyable reads but thinking back I remember the main story and not these short stories. The really cool part though was the ton of behind the scenes material on how DRACULAS came into being. The emails that went back and forth with all of them on how to start and write the book. There were some deleted scenes. A lot of explanation as to why choices were made. In the end, I enjoyed the second half of the book just as much as the story in the first half.

If it is not apparent by now, I do recommend the book as a fun, enjoyable read. All four authors did a great job. The behind-the-scenes notes do tell which author wrote which characters and certain scenes but in the end, it doesn't matter who wrote what. The book made me smile, laugh, cringe, thrilled and care. Then it involved me to a small degree in the lives of four authors that I respect. With all that, I consider myself well entertained.

Finally! These vampires do not glitter in the sunlight or mope around looking depressed.This is not an everyone lives happily ever after story. These are vampires as they were mneant to be. Bloodthirsty, vicious, with one thing on their minds, BLOOD and where to get more.

Includes bonus material and short stories. One of which(Cub Scout Gore Feast) was hilarious... in a sick kind of way.

I am sort of at a loss for words on this book especially seeing the high ratings it has received, but alas I have to give it two stars as it was nothing of what I was expecting which I will explain more about that in a bit.

A small backstory:

Jason Tray along with his friends discuss a woman that lives outside of town that is named Blister and on a dare Jason's friends tell him to go peek through the window to look at her. Jason isn't too sure about it, but finally not to be ragged on by his friends he takes a peek and what he sees is upsetting to say the least as the woman's face is deformed and burnt. Jason feels bad about what he done the next day and decides to go back to the house to apologize.

Thoughts:

From that point on in the story things branch out way beyond from what I was thinking the book would become as it more or less turned out to be romance horror. For me if I am looking to read horror then I want horror, but this story had quite a bit of romance in it as the character Jason and Blister become romantically involved which took me completely down a different road than what I was thinking. There were some horror moments but it was more a love story than an actual horror story.

Compared to a couple of other Strand books I have read this one falls way below the mark for me. But that is just my opinion as other horror fans might like that kind of book and it does seem that way with the four and five star ratings it has received, but it just wasn't for me. Giving this book two "disappointing" stars!

Wow! This was an action packed blood and gore infested horror romp!

A little backstory:

Come one, come all and take a ride into the haunted forest where you will see amazing creatures the likes of what you have never seen before!

There are trams on tracks that take tourists through a haunted forest with all kinds of oddball creatures and the tourists are hoping to get glimpses of the creatures that are roaming through the forest!



However, with any maiden voyage though comes unexpected problems that are unforeseeable and when one of the trams comes to a stop to view the creatures the last thing expected would be that the tram would lose power, but that is what happens and when the power goes out, so does the chance of escape. When another tram rams into the powerless tram it brings about a horrific crash which that is when things get interesting as now the tourists are considered a prime meal for the creatures out in the forest.

What happened to the tram? What happens to the tourists? Do they escape the clutches of the creatures? What kind of creatures are roaming the haunted forest? No spoilers here as you will just have to read the book!

There are quite a few characters within this story which I am not going into detail with each one, but I will say that I really loved most of the characters as they tried to fight their way to survival against the creatures.

There is lots of blood and gore throughout the story which starts practically right away in the first chapter and doesn't let up till the end of the book!

The story just flows along with the fast paced action but when the trams crash and the tourists are sitting ducks is when the story goes into overdrive. From that point on the story stays in overdrive with constant blood and gore action to the point that I could literally not put the book down as I wanted to stay awake to see what would happen next!

This book was awesome and it is a perfect read for Halloween! Giving this book five "gory" stars!

Highly recommend to all horror fans!

This was a new author to me and I wasn't disappointed as this book Sick House was a crazy ghostly mess! Some of it was spooky, but it was mostly suspenseful, tense, and downright twisted!

I do have a warning for readers with queasy stomachs as there is quite a bit of torture and gore in the beginning of the book. So if you cannot handle extreme situations then this book might not be for you, but the readers that love torture, gore, and extreme horror, then by all means pick up this book!

Boyd and Adeline Gardner along with their children, Naomi and Paige move into a new home as Boyd has a new job and they wanted to be close to his work. The family hasn't been in the house very long and they notice something is happening to the groceries they bought. Some of the food is in an advanced stage of molding and rotting. They are concerned that there is something wrong with the air quality of the house, so they have an inspector that comes out to the house.

The inspector cleans the air ducts and everything seems fine with the air quality to the point of the groceries are no longer rotting. That night though things change and the atmosphere in the house shifts. When ghosts make an appearance is when things start getting freaky and the Gardners find themselves trapped in the house with no escape.

Who are the ghosts? Why are they haunting the house? What happens to the Gardners when the ghosts appear? Are the Gardners able to escape the house? No spoilers here as you will just have to read the book.

This book kicks off fast in the first chapter and the momentum of the book picks up speed as the more I became involved in the storyline, the more I wanted to continue reading to see what would happen next. When the ghosts make an appearance is when the book kicks into high gear and doesn't let up all the way to the end. I have some more books by this author and I will be reading them soon. Giving this book four "twisted" stars!

Bloodsucker soaker!

A small backstory:

Mortimer Moorecock collects artifacts and when he finds an artifact of Dracula's skull he must have it so he buys it. When the package arrives Mortimer decides on the spur of the moment to sink the fangs of the skull artifact into his neck.

When Moorecock does that to himself his assistant Shanna calls an ambulance as Moorecock starts going into convulsions. When the EMT's arrive at the hospital, things go from bad to worse when Moorecock ends up attacking people by biting them and the whole hospital is turned upside down as the horror of vampirism takes over the entire building!

Thoughts:

Normally a gore infested blood romp would glean five stars from me, but I dropped this book down to three stars for a reason. I felt that there was a lot of repetition with the vampire breakout and it went on for a long time with people becoming vampires then turning other people into vampires.

The story continued like that for near 300 pages and I felt this story could have been a lot shorter. Maybe a 200 page romp of vampire attacks, but 300 pages was a long haul for the same type of thing happening from one person to another.

One interesting thing about the book though was the authors have a section at the end of biographies and emails. The emails were fascinating to me as they show how all of the authors came together to write this story. Giving this one three "Vampire Blood Sucker" stars.

For more thoughts on this review, please see my blog:
https://booknookretreat.blogspot.com/2021/10/draculas-by-blake-crouch-ja-konrath...

Tightening Tension!

Backstory:

Ethan is a big time gambler but when he spends more than he should have at the slot machines he is given an opportunity to win back his losses - though there is a price for it. Ethan doesn't dare tell his wife Jenny what he has done or he will be in the doghouse forever, so he tries to jump around her questions with lies.

In steps Rick - who is the somebody that can possibly make Ethan's dreams come true with putting money in his pocket and all Ethan has to do is play a game, but not just any game and nothing that has to do with slot machines, but a game that is totally different which can lead to pain.

As much as Ethan wants money to line his pockets he will have to consider the consequences of staying in the game to keep earning money or die trying - whichever comes first!

What is the game? What does Ethan have to do to win the game? How much money will Ethan win?

No spoilers here as you will need to read the book!

Thoughts:

I really enjoyed this book and right away I was pulled into the storyline as the book kicks off with some intrigue. The more I read the story the deeper I was pulled into the book. There is tons of tension and anxiety associated with this storyline as I wanted to keep reading but also wanted to hide behind my fingers to peek out as I wasn't sure what was going to happen next!

I felt sorry for the character, Ethan as he has to go through some major stuff to keep playing the game and I wanted to see something bad happen to the character Rick as he was a pain in the arse most of the time through the book.

As time goes on though and more stuff happens within the book I just could not put the book down as the story just kept escalating to the point I had read almost 30% in one sitting without moving as the book went into supersonic overdrive!

Another great book by author, Jeff Strand! If you want something that will keep you awake all night with lots of tense moments with breath hitching intrigue then go grab this book as I guarantee you will be up all night reading this story! Giving this book five "Game of Chance Horror" stars!

Very quick, fast paced story about a 14 year old boy, Curtis, who sees his best friend kidnapped by a man who lives close by. Unfortunately there is no evidence this man is guilty. Curtis spends the next few months attempting to balance being a teen with finding evidence to back up his story. Quick, suspenseful read. Kind of unbelievable at times, but overall a fun and well written read.

Wowza!!! Talk about a series of events getting worse and worse! Horrific, nightmare images are what you'll get from this title. Of course there's that comical chit chat between characters, that I love with Strand's books, but he really put these characters through some rough challenges. Scariest part of it is, the woods around my home have all these wonderful creatures running around.

Dit boek is enorm grappig en gaat vooral in op de slapstick humor met een beetje horror in de mix. Dit is een young adult boek die zeker het lezen waard is voor iedere horror fan die in is voor een grapje!