Hannah Matthews

Have you ever been around someone so kind, so heart-open and emotionally connected that at turns they embarrass and inspire you? You squirm a little because they are so eager to display all the feels and worse, imparting those raw emotions onto you, but at the same time you admire their ability to be so free with their passions. I know I don't know what to do when someone is even the slightest bit complimentary or caring and Matthews, within the very first pages of You or Someone You Love, seems overly gentle and loving. I do not need her to call me radiantly gorgeous or perfect. I know I am neither. I need to understand that Matthews wants to set her readers at ease. Her book is a minefield of controversy, pain, anger, shame, and guilt. She doesn't want to intrude on the fragility of some readers while she unearths the feelings they might have buried deep down. At the same time Matthews wants her initial message to be clear, straightforward and reassuring. Simply: I. Care. For. You. The message is received loud and clear.
I wanted to go beyond healing and actually learn something from reading You or Someone You Love. Here are a few lessons: I had never heard of the Mississippi Appendectomy. I was excited to discover the Native Land map. I never knew one could donate breast milk. But! The ultimate truth: I didn't expect to learn something about myself in the process. Well played, Matthews.
As an aside, why do we always apologize for our pain? I am bothered when someone apologizes for crying during an interview; when someone says they say sorry for their pain. I get irritated when people are ashamed of their tears and yet, I go to that same place. I apologize for feeling something beyond my control. The section called "Abortion is Pain" resonated. When Matthews was talking about the anticipation of receiving pain, I felt myself tensing, locking, tightening, and clenching in readiness of an imaginary pain yet to be delivered. Just reading the words made me wat to curl into a tight, tight, tight porcupine ball and play dead for all I was worth. But I kept reading and that made all the difference.… (altro)