Mikel Jollett

This was an incredibly moving memoir. Mikel’s parents were members of Synanon and at six months old he was handed over to a “school” to be raised as a “child of the universe” - which, in a practical sense - meant being raised without parents, or any notion of family. When Mikel is 4 years old, his mother escapes the cult with him and his older brother Tony. The scars from the cult run deep, but perhaps worse is the continuing trauma he experiences being raised by his mentally ill mother. So, there was no recovery. No healing. Just more pain.

The author tries to tell his story in the age-appropriate voice, to express how he perceived it. This is very effective. Describing situations that he couldn’t quite explain with language available to him as a child, you can feel along with him. Interestingly, much of what we know about the trauma he experienced is presented alongside his mother’s complete denial of his perspective, and in some cases reality.

He does an uncharacteristically bold rejection of his mother’s world when he says he wants to live with his father. As a preteen, having been conditioned to cater to every one of his mom’s needs and none of his own, he manages to grab the lifeline of moving in with his dad. A future of success is still just a fantasy as he struggles with drugs and alcohol in his early teen years. Mikel describes in painful detail the masks he wears for others, because he is certain he is worthless.

He describes the moment - after a terrible accident - that he realizes he doesn’t want to die. And he reaches out to his dad and Bonnie for help. And they do. He still has many mountains to climb and set backs to face, but it is a corner turned, a possible future opening up. What kept me reading from successes and failures in school and relationships was the burning question… How did he survive?

I listened to the audiobook and I am glad I did. The book is read by the author and set with music from his band. Beautifully done.… (altro)

(21) This long memoir was moving and mesmerizing - unputdownable for me. I have never heard of the author or his alternative rock band but he is brilliant. We are both Gen X's with similar cultural touchstones and I loved Bowie in the 80's and to a lesser extent The Cure and Robert Smith. I also was that townie that didn't know the punch line to the prep school jokes in my snooty liberal arts college as well. Painful. I am watching a few of his music videos on You tube as I write - love his love for literature and songs with no hook that are weird and speak to the outsider. His memoir of growing up with a family that escaped from a cult in the early 70's. The confusion and mental and emotional dislocation of being a child in an ever-changing world with unreliable adults that don't see to your needs and at times disappear. Broke my heart. God - the mistakes we as parents make despite our efforts. We muddle through our own foibles and addictions and broken relationships and mental illnesses and try and carry our kids with us. I had empathy for his mom, but at times I wasn't sure he wanted me to. I definitely had some 'big talks' with my boys while reading to make sure that I validated their feelings and let them know I would always protect and care for them -- i.e. parenting is not about me.

Jollett, with the love and support of his ex-con uneducated father and a keen intelligence inherited from his emotionally abusive needy mother, narrowly evades delinquency, perseveres, attends Stanford and eventually becomes a successful music journalist and front man for an apparently successful indie rock band. Amazing - like Westover's Educated in many ways, but much grittier; more raw and plaintitive. Yet he does for the most part avoid melodrama and pretension.

I do feel like Jollett has a way of writing (and likely with his music too) that allows people to feel known/seen that I doubt he could do without his experiences. Kudos for such honesty (especially from a rock star...) I think maybe avoids a perfect rating from me as it could have used some trimming/editing to make a bit less repetitive and more powerful - especially toward the end. I didn't buy his narration of his father's death - it felt long-winded and not as authentic. But.overall - Bravo! So happy that he has landed safely.… (altro)