I liked the idea behind this book but there was something that bothered me about the story. I didn't like how The Manual seemed to almost predict what was going to happen in Lois's life. It made the story feel too unrealistic for me. I think if The Manual wasn't so close to what was actually happening to her, it would have felt more real for me. Other than that, I really enjoyed the story and was very happy with how everything turned out for Lois in the end. ( )

While i was scanning through piles of books, this one definitely caught my attention because it the concept sounded so interesting. Some parts were enjoyable with good advice, but on the whole I thought it could have been executed better. ( )

The premise of the story held a lot of promise - father dies young but leaves behind a notebook full of letters to his daughter. Unfortunately, the execution of the story just wasn't quite what it could have been. Despite a mother who loves her and people around her to care for her, Lois refuses to get close to anyone - the result of losing her father at five. She continues this pattern WAY past the time when she should have begun to mature out of this. The story is told from Lois' viewpoint and it is faulty, so the reader has to imagine what the other characters are really like. As a first novel, it is pretty good, but I look forward to seeing what Ms. Jaye can do as she continues her writing. ( )

By the Time You Read This by Lola Jaye
Sally Apollon
Overall Score: 7.5 out of 10

It’s strange that I chose a second book in succession with two separate narratives ongoing…anyhow; it was not my intention and of course it served a different purpose here. But in comparison, it was an effective device for building the two characters of Father & Daughter. One result of this method was that as the book neared it’s end I found that I had the same feeling of “not wanting the book to end” that Lois in her late 20s was experiencing. To her it represented a repetition of loss and I could keenly sense that.

Lois was an interesting teenage girl, and I found it intriguing to see her grow into a well-defended (emotionally) young woman. By this, I mean that she had many characteristics that enabled her to not get too close to anyone, it really wasn’t difficult to see, from our perspective that she had built these defenses because of the deep loss (abandonment) that she felt by her father’s death. She had a deep sense of inadequacy, that her mother didn’t seem to do much to address, (indeed she often made it worse) which to me accounted for her willingness to put up with any amount of bad behaviour towards her from Carla. It also prevented her from pushing harder for a relationship with Corey, who she clearly adored; but was so well-defended she wouldn’t even admit it to herself. Her unwillingness to be vulnerable seemed to underline her succession of disastrous relationships.

I have to ask myself the question: was “The Manual” really useful to her?? I think the great irony of the book is that only once she finishes the Manual does she really begin to start living life—as life can really only be learned by living, not by a long list of “do’s & don’t’s”. So, ironically, her Father actually prevented her from growing up, by engendering an artificial dependence on his flawed “wisdom”. She failed to see him as human and fallible—rudely exposed as such finally by her mother. It was also ironic to me that for all her father’s earnest urging otherwise, she was truly unable to forgive her mother for loving a man other than her “perfect” father, until her father’s Manual was done and her mother had to hit her with a hefty reality check. Lois was unable even to refer to her step-father (“Bingo-caller”) by his real name or try to build a friendship with him. I would expect this from a teenage girl, but a young woman in her mid-twenties…I would expect a little more of. Her blindness to her own defensiveness also prevented her from building a better relationship with her sister, (Abbi)—this really was selfish of her; however, I do think it was a realistic account of someone in her situation and, to her credit, she did notice and try to rectify this.

I also have to say a word or two about Lois’s career—it was almost a character itself! It was interesting to me how she determinedly grew her career, making opportunistic moves and how her IT career died a death with the collapse of the ecomony and her well-defended psyche. It was a huge relief to see her find creative outlet and commercial-career success in one swoop with the redirection of her talents into photography. I was jealous! To make a major career transition like that is a huge leap of faith—or a lucky act of a desperate woman.

Oh and I have to say that when I got the book, I thought the fact that she was biracial would figure into the story in some way, as in bullied or discriminated against…and I was actually pleasantly surprised to see that it didn’t. It was just an incidental fact of life for her and not really one in a long list of woes, or reason for her to feel worse about anything—you can imagine that this was noticeable to me.

Overall, I really liked it, it was pleasantly readable, moving at times & I did celebrate her triumphs with her. I really wanted her to do well, if I must fault it the ending came pretty quickly & the ends all got tied up a little too neatly…but that’s fiction for you isn’t it? ( )

What a great concept for a book. Kevin Bates died a while back, but he had the foresight to leave a "how to manual" for his daughter. So, when Lois is 12 years old, her aunt gives her this precious book - and the only rule is - Lois can only read one entry per birthday - until her 30th birthday.

I immediately connected with this storyline - as my dad died when I was 11 and I often wished he had been here to give me advice on my life.

When Lois is first given this Manual - she can barely read it - the opening chapters describing how she felt when reading her father's words are so touching - I kept having to push tears away. The advice given is pretty common stuff, but you can feel Lois' heavy heart as her dad reaches out to her and you can also feel how much Lois was in need of her father's help and support.

What I liked about this book is that we get glimpses of periods in Lois' life as she gets older - hight school, first love, camp, etc. The author does not feel the need to go into huge detail about each event in Lois' life, which I really thought helped the book stay grounded. Rather we get snapshots of these entertwined with her father's words and we get to see just how much she ends up relying on him for just about anything in her life.

It is interesting to see that her father seems to have, in some ways, more to say to Lois than her own mother does. Yet, I could be a little biais myself on this point.

This book was a joy. I loved being there to see Lois grow from a young girl to a lady - with all the trials and tribulations - all the growing pains.

This book is touching, funny and sad.

I loved it ( )