From New Favourite to Crushing Disappointment

I seriously need to stop getting so invested in stories that seem so brilliant and speak so strongly to me to avoid the heartbreaking Tyra Banks moments and autistic tears that happen more often than I care to admit.

Algorithms declares itself a modern Bridget Jones, but carries itself closer to Fleabag in its incisive, honest, ugly, horny beauty. It follows the end of Brooke's year as a twenty something through heartbreak, neuroses, issues with work and family, complications in what seems like the perfect new romance, and the wheels really falling off, before an uplifting, but in my honest opinion, seriously vapid, privileged, and harmful ending and ultimate message.

I feel somewhat like I did when I finished Powder by Tobias Wolff -- yes, getting out of your own way and stopping overthinking everything is the dream, but just as the son in Wolff's short story apparently achieves this by not caring about the disrespect his dad has for his mother's time and Christmas Eve plans, not to mention the complete disregard for his son's safety, driving in seriously dangerous conditions on roads closed for safety, Sadie Clark's Brooke's chilling out and being happy is accepting biphobia, micro aggressions, 'gold star lesbians', that ghosting and cheating is apparently equal to not talking about your feelings, abusive bosses are fine if they open up to you and the app you are working on is a success, and being constantly mansplained and having your work stolen by a cishet dude who might actually be 'the one' because he fancies you, is fun, and laid back...

Am I losing my autistic mind? As a trans femme MSpec Bi/ Pan Lesbian am I triggered by the 'gold star lesbian' acceptance? Do I find the concept of a positive relationship with one's mother unthinkable and unsettling? I'm sure these are all true as is allowing myself to fall in love with a work of art too easily and then getting my heart smashed to pieces. Am I overly dramatic?

So much about this is wonderful and, frankly, everything that happened could still happen, but with less acceptance and capitulation, or at the very least this surrendering to all this awfulness not being presented as a wise and uplifting message for the listener to take away, by Brooke. Things are perfect, characters aren't perfect, and art isn't perfect. That's OK. I don't think it's unreasonable to feel so strongly about the acceptance and promoting the acceptance of such harmful things, especially to Queer folx.

I'm bi and white. I come from a privileged background, regardless of the childhood trauma, C-PTSD, chronic physical and mental conditions and disabilities, and being trans. I have love for all my siblings in intersectionality. I do think it's important to call out harmful and privileged white cis perspectives in our own communities. Honestly, if this wasn't written and performed so well and practically perfect in other areas, I would have scored this lower. I was ready for this to be 11/5 new favourite thing ever, but, yeah, this is a seriously impressive, beautifully written, amazingly performed crushing disappointment that is torpedoed by the last episode and the need for some Hallmark ending.

Truly heartbreaking. ( )