Consent is a brilliantly rendered memoir authored by a woman, Donna Freitas, who dreamed of being a professor. Unfortunately, she encountered a huge hurdle to realizing her dreams when a professor, a priest no less, became obsessed with her.

Let’s just say that the most compelling part of this book is the complete candor with which it is written, but that is closely followed by the beautiful use of language. Parts of the story are poetically rendered; others have more of an academic cast, and some parts are simply deeply personal.

What makes this book so fascinating is that Donna tells her story in such vivid detail, including her innermost thoughts and her tremendous self doubt. It does help the reader to understand how a situation can start innocuously enough, but then by the time the victim realizes what is happening, she no longer feels empowered to stop it.

Her view of herself in hindsight is so interesting. She never really is able to reconcile her image of herself as an attractive person, in control of her sexuality, filled with passion for a life of the mind with a person who was victimized, but when I read about her family background and her propensity for leaning so hard into her studies, building very close relationships with her teachers from a young age, I do see some red flags. Unfortunately, she managed to come into contact with a predator who, with little more than psychological manipulation, invaded her life. She shows how it happened through her unique lens, and the reader experiences the horror of it. She asks why me, and then I personally think some readers will see the answer – yet she remains unsure. Sadly, the ending is not as satisfying as one hopes for throughout, but it is instructive.
There was a lot I would have liked to discuss about this book, so I think it would be extremely good for book clubs. I walked away with more questions than before I read her account.

All in all, I found the author to be extremely brave to tackle this topic the way that she did, for the world to read. Five stars all the way.

#NetGalley ( )

(I was provided an ARC of this book by Netgalley.)
This is a timely and important everyday horror story. It's a skillfully written book. I appreciated that there was no physical violence on the page, because it makes this book an accessible learning tool for anyone wanting to build awareness about the risks faced by people who are not men in everyday situations. Social awareness about how commonplace stalking and violence is seems to be increasing contemporarily, and this book is a nuanced and well-articulated exploration of these issues. I would recommend this book to readers who enjoy titles such as Rage Becomes Her, Good and Mad, Eloquent Rage, etc. My biggest criticism of this book is that the text is heavily gendered and focuses exclusively on cisgender women's experiences, without recognition that other people who are not men (non-binary, transfeminine, transmasculine people) are at risk of similar or more severe violence at the hands of cisgendered, privileged men.

Featured in a blog post at https://booksbeyondbinaries.blog/2020/03/16/neglected-favourites-of-2019/ ( )