Oh man, I cannot help but love forbidden romances and Secret Lucidity is no different. E.K. Blair has brought to life the struggles of being seventeen and dealing with the heavy weight of life. She tells the heart wrenching story of Cam, a girl thrust too soon into adulthood, tempted by the things that bring her relief from the pain. From depressive thoughts to self harm, Cam has so much she doesn't know how to deal with and the company of off-limits David is a welcome one. What starts as an emotional outlet grows into something more as Cam's mom gives up on her role as a mother and the people who Cam once considered friends join in on the whispering behind her back. She finds herself running to him more often and soon she's giving him everything, their time together a secret no one must know about.

"Touch.
... A hug laced in tainted innocence.
A hug I don't want to hide away from."

I will kick this off with a warning, Secret Lucidity is absolutely a forbidden romance and there is definitely an age gap between Cam and David that is worth noting for safer readers. It's also a beautifully crafted novel about coming of age, passionate love, and learning to face the bad things that happen. Cam is a hurt young woman who, after a terrible accident, finds herself scarred, heart broken, and feeling unloved. She isn't understood by her peers, by her family, by really anyone except David. He makes her want to heal, he makes her feel life again, but he also presents a lot of complications that young Cam doesn't fully grasp. Their romance is a whirlwind, at first based on desperation and a dire need for compassion and later growing into companionship and love. Cam was, in many ways, so similar to any teenager you might know. She struggles with many of the same hardships, with the same feelings, but hers seem magnified by the massive change her life has had. I hurt so much for her, knowing how it feels to be misunderstood, to want something more, and even to want a way to not feel at all. I really connected with her in those ways and, admittedly, I've definitely felt attraction for an older man, the age gap seeming silly. Though their age gap is large, David really did come across, to me, as a kind, loving, and sincere man. There is so much depth to both of them, even with the novel only being told from Cam's perspective.

"How do they not feel the tension in this room? How do they not see it? How do they not taste it?"

It's obvious they both glossed over the reality of their situation, letting their feelings guide the way. Unlike most forbidden romances though, E.K. Blair gives a lot of attention to the profundity of the sorrow and its power over Cam's life. The detail given on how Cam found herself so lost and alone, how the two found each other, and what each gave to one another outside of just touch really brings the story, the romance, into perspective. There is incredibly deep dialogue between Cam and David, very different from the conversations that Cam has with her two oldest friends. There is pain, there is happiness, and there is a lot of trust and sharing between the two, enough so that their romance stopped seeming so forbidden and their age is forgotten. It's a hard topic to write about and I think E.K. Blair tackled it very well, taking something that is usually reserved for erotica reads and giving it the innocent background that so often comes with these sort of connections.

"They're taking something so beautiful and turning it into something so vile - so repulsive."

It's an emotional story, one that got to me in a very personal way. E.K. Blair has always had a fantastic way with words, but this book is one of her most evocative, in my opinion. I could see the characters, I could feel their pain and I really found myself feeling so much compassion for their plight. It's not dark, by any means, but it is a difficult read and not the sort of light reading you forget about the next day. It's heavy, a book weighed down by life, loss, and love, but it's also truly a phenomenal, worthwhile read.

ARC provided. ( )

Great book, forbidden romance is always a thrill. This book is well developed, and so rich. It's heart wrenching, sad, fully of lust, love and the forbidden. I liked this book from page one. Cam Is heartbreaking, beautiful and troubled. David is strong, loving, and beyond words. Great read if you like the forbidden. ( )