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Hauling Ash

di Tonia Brown

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At the behest of his dead uncle’s spirit, Otto Waldorf seeks out a hidden fortune, only to end up with a quarter million of the mafia’s money. With both the mob and the FBI on his tail, this lonely mortician flees the country with money in tow. Throw in a nervous schnauzer, a moody hit man, and a blonde bombshell for a comedy noir of haunting proportions. When the spirit of his recently deceased uncle appears in his kitchen, lonely mortician Octavious Waldorf can only guess the ghost isn’t there just for the coffee. His miserly uncle reveals the location of a hidden fortune with the promise of more if Otto will spread the dead man’s ashes across the Caribbean Sea. Through a simple mistake Otto ends up with almost a million of the mafia’s money instead of his uncle’s simple few thousand. Otto does what any desperate man would do and flees the country aboard a cruise ship headed to the Bahamas to fulfill his uncle’s last request. With the money, his dead uncle’s ashes, and a nervous schnauzer in tow, Otto sets out to change his fortune and life. That near million just so happens to belong to crime boss and all around bad guy Tony “Waldorf” Maloney (no relation), who happens to be on the same cruise. Maloney isn’t interested in just getting the money back. Along with the help of the much feared hired hit man Mr. Banjo, as well as the blonde bombshell Penny Lane, Maloney plans on squeezing the money as well as a few vital juices from Otto’s cold, dead corpse. On the other end of the law, the FBI is hot on Maloney’s tail. Special Agents Frank Wallace and Larry Lawrence aren’t sure who this Otto guy is, or how he fits into Maloney’s organization, but they don’t plan on letting either of them get away. Maybe it’s time for the nearly retired Frank to take a much needed cruise to the Bahamas. It’s a comedy noir of hilarious errors as Otto learns that sometimes money does buy happiness.… (altro)
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I received this ARC in exchange for an honest review and I loved the introverted Otto Waldorf! Hauling Ash is a hilarious story that kept me laughing at what trouble this timid mortician and a ghost could get into! One morning after he had buried his uncle Walter, Otto awoke to find his corpse sitting in his kitchen and drinking black coffee that oozed from his cut neck. His uncle had taken him in when no other relative wanted him and he knew the old man had never wanted children especially the responsibility of a seven year old boy! Eventually, he grew up to marry a woman that cheated on him and he let her take everything in the divorce as he was too timid to stand up for himself. That morning, uncle told him to go to bus station and get a small brown suitcase from locker 6, only in confusion he was given a key to locker 9 that held a black bag filled with one million dollars of a mob boss's drug money instead of the ten thousand from his uncle. Now the mob, the FBI and one scary tall goon is after Walter, Otto and the dog as they set sail on a singles cruise! ( )
  Linda.Bass | Jul 10, 2016 |
Hauling Ash by Tonia Brown

Mortician, Octavious "Otto" Waldorf finds the spirit of his recently deceased Uncle in his kitchen. His Uncle wants Otto to spread his ashes across the Caribbean Sea, promising to give Otto a sizable amount of money. So Otto books passage on a cruise to the Bahamas. But things go wrong and Otto winds up with the wrong bag of money.

He finds out the money belongs to crime boss Tony “Waldorf” Maloney (no relation to Otto), who happens to be on the same cruise. Now Otto has Maloney's hit-man Banjo, and Maloney's lady Penny who will stop at nothing to get his money back. Add to it, the FBI is on the trail of Maloney, they too are on the cruise.

Otto is very likable, he is an average guy, and very lonely. His Uncle Walter is very likable, he was a bit of a loner in real life, but such a funny and outspoken spirit. The plot is original, the characters are well developed. There is an equal amount of action, suspense and laughable moments.

Overall I found Hauling Ash quite enjoyable and feel others will like it as much as I did. I also like the cover, it captures the "Spirit" perfectly. A definite five star read! ( )
  SheriAWilkinson | Mar 11, 2016 |
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At the behest of his dead uncle’s spirit, Otto Waldorf seeks out a hidden fortune, only to end up with a quarter million of the mafia’s money. With both the mob and the FBI on his tail, this lonely mortician flees the country with money in tow. Throw in a nervous schnauzer, a moody hit man, and a blonde bombshell for a comedy noir of haunting proportions. When the spirit of his recently deceased uncle appears in his kitchen, lonely mortician Octavious Waldorf can only guess the ghost isn’t there just for the coffee. His miserly uncle reveals the location of a hidden fortune with the promise of more if Otto will spread the dead man’s ashes across the Caribbean Sea. Through a simple mistake Otto ends up with almost a million of the mafia’s money instead of his uncle’s simple few thousand. Otto does what any desperate man would do and flees the country aboard a cruise ship headed to the Bahamas to fulfill his uncle’s last request. With the money, his dead uncle’s ashes, and a nervous schnauzer in tow, Otto sets out to change his fortune and life. That near million just so happens to belong to crime boss and all around bad guy Tony “Waldorf” Maloney (no relation), who happens to be on the same cruise. Maloney isn’t interested in just getting the money back. Along with the help of the much feared hired hit man Mr. Banjo, as well as the blonde bombshell Penny Lane, Maloney plans on squeezing the money as well as a few vital juices from Otto’s cold, dead corpse. On the other end of the law, the FBI is hot on Maloney’s tail. Special Agents Frank Wallace and Larry Lawrence aren’t sure who this Otto guy is, or how he fits into Maloney’s organization, but they don’t plan on letting either of them get away. Maybe it’s time for the nearly retired Frank to take a much needed cruise to the Bahamas. It’s a comedy noir of hilarious errors as Otto learns that sometimes money does buy happiness.

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