I don't often read books in the "self help" genre, but the title on this one caught my attention. Let's just say my mother and I have not had a good relationship, and it has deteriorated considerably over time. I was just curious whether this book would give me new insights that might be useful.

The book basically describes 5 archetypes of "mothers who can't love". I could relate to several of them, but they are more extreme than anything I encountered. She then provides case studies and discusses how various daughters have struggled in life as a result of these relationships. The book then ends on a prescriptive note.

I actually thought the advice in the book was dead on. I had already followed all of it pretty much from a much younger age and as a result I did not suffer the way some of these daughters have suffered. So kudos to Forward for delivering great advice in a clear and very sympathetic way. Also, there's no easy answer for daughters . . .because the mothers really don't or can't change, and the daughters have to realize that they are still lovable people. Not easy after feeling rejected by a parent.

For some, this could be a four or five star read, but I personally didn't relate strongly to any of the five "types". That made it harder for me to appreciate the book. I think the types were overemphasized a bit when the reality is that basically the mother's either couldn't love or didn't love their daughters, but oftentimes did like controlling them. I was hoping to learn more about why some mothers don't love their children or don't act in a loving way. The true tales were illustrative, but not quite fleshed out of enough to make for gripping reading.

It probably would be a higher rated book within the genre of self help, but as an overall read, I felt three stars was appropriate.
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This book is divided into two parts: information about non-loving mother "types" and practical steps. Okay, some of the steps aren't all that practical although they might be helpful for some readers. It's definitely a very empowering book for daughters. I'd suggest loving mothers read it as well, since it's a cautionary tale about various types of behavior. ( )

I wish I had had this book available 30 or so years ago, when I was wrestling with my mother's nastiness and what my acceptance of it was modeling for my daughter. My instincts did help- but it would have been very supportive to have had the information and perspectives in this book at the time!

Most, close to all mothers, do the best they can. Some do not, and for some, the "best they can" is utterly inadequate. This book addresses the daughters of such mothers with both perspective and ways to cope with the reality of our lives- from effectively setting boundaries up through "divorcing" her if nothing else works.

Highly recommended for daughters of unloving mothers. ( )

A very taboo topic, but if it applies to you, you can't afford to be prim: read it.

BooksintheBurbs: you're probably right about it being basic, but that doesn't mean that many people who ought to know better (including some therapists!) are totally clueless. I hope, as time goes on, that ceases to be the case, and your approach becomes the standard attitude! :) ( )