#91, 2004

This woman is even more "progressive" about parenting issues than I am - and I consider myself fairly progressive. (I'm not sure progressive is the right word, but I can't think of a better one. What I mean is going against what's considered to be the current "norm"). It was an interesting book, in spite of the fact that even I found some of her ideas radical. She talks about the benefits of breastfeeding well past infancy, co-sleeping, no daycare, all of which are choices I made, as well . . . attachment parenting, but she's taken it to it's extreme. Her ideal seems to be constant togetherness between mother and children, for, well, I'm not sure when she intends it to end, as she advocates homeschooling, as well. She also advocates a fruitarian diet for the entire family - just fruits and nuts. Period. I'm not a nutritionist, so perhaps that really is a healthy diet, but it sounds a bit limited to me. She also talks about homebirth, not immunizing children against diseases, and some other things along those lines. She's got some good ideas, and makes strong arguments at times.

However, I do have a fairly substantial gripe with the book. There are a few things that bother me. First, while I'm willing to be open-minded about the things she suggests, she seems to have a "my way or the highway" attitude going on - that any woman who doesn't follow Halfmoon's ideals has been brainwashed by the medical/pharmaceutical/patriarchal, etc. society, and needs to wake up and take back her power. Which in this case means following all of the advice given in this (and the author's other, oft-mentioned) books. I do have a problem with this. Not all of the the things she advocates are going to be good choices for all families, and, while she complains about how others have judged her, she seems to be falling into the same trap herself, by judging anyone who does things differently from the way she's done them. Hey, it's cool to feel strongly about things, especially in such an emotionally charged subject as parenting. But I don't think it's appropriate to ever say that "THIS" is the ONLY way to do things properly, or you're brainwashed or a bad parent. Ugh. I would have much preferred to read a book offering these ideas as valid suggestions, while acknowledging that other parenting decisions can be equally valid, as well.

Second, she seems to discount entirely that men have any right to be parents. Her attitude seems to be that, as long as they're not abusive or disagreeing with the mother's decisions, it's okay to keep them around, but they're not really necessary nor even that useful. Now, in some cases, this is true. There are (IMO) men who do not live up to the standard that I'd want as a parent for my child. (Fortunately my own husband does not fall into this category). But I think it's outrageous to declare that men who aren't being abusive in some way shouldn't have any rights at all in the raising of their children.

She also makes a few bold claims which are, in my experience, simply untrue. For example, she says that babies who are carried in slings are "always" blissful and never cry. I will accept that her children never cried. (I'm skeptical, but perhaps it's true). That, however, was not at all my experience using a sling. We tried it, my son didn't like it, so we didn't use it. Now, this doesn't mean I think slings are bad - they work for lots of people. Just not for *everyone* as Halfmoon insists, and all babies will not be "blissful" when worn. There are examples of this sort of thing throughout the book, and when I catch her out in making a claim that I know to be untrue from my own personal experience, I have to wonder where else she is exaggerating, as well. I've thought of a couple other examples of information I found dodgy: she states that looking directly into the sun is good for one's vision (in spite of the fact that this is well-known to cause blindness); and she says that skin cancer is a myth perpetuated by the sunscreen industry, and that if one eats only fruit (as she does), there are no toxins to burn in the skin, so you can have unlimited sun exposure with no risk. ?!?!?!?

So, on the whole, it was hard for me to enjoy this book, because I found the author to be intolerant of opinions other than her own. Which is a shame, because she does make some good arguments - that women should trust their own instincts when making decisions regarding their children, and not just blindly trust what "society" tells them to do. I've flown in the face of societal pressure a few times, but that doesn't mean I think *everything* society tells us is wrong. I do believe that I'm the best judge of what my child needs (yes, a better judge than even his father is), but that doesn't mean that I feel my husband should have no voice in the way we raise our son. So, the book was interesting, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who is looking for actual parenting advice - I think she goes too far in rejecting the current norms, which is likely as unhealthy as following them without question, and she doesn't leave much room for people to honour their own wisdom - she seems to want everyone to agree with hers.

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