This book shouldn't have been published as it is. Too often it reads like a bad diary. The narcissism can be unrelenting. Yes, what happened to her is horrible but that doesn't mean that every half-baked thought that floats through her head or flat, awkward sentence that drifts onto the page has been forged in the big fiery kiln of burning importance. This needed to sit on the shelf for however long the author needed to be able to craft it.

Why did I read this book? I dunno. Prurient interest. Why did I keep reading? Some neurotic inability to not finish?

Many pages seem motivated solely by an interest to let guys she didn't hook up with know that they should've gone for it or guys she did hook up with know she was only with them because she was screwed up. There's a strange lack of self-awareness to these passages that is almost disturbing.

To be fair, though, and very much othe other hand, the passages describing the land, the feel of the raw, wide world, can be riveting. It's funny--description of trees and mountains is harder to write than narrative action, especially narrative action filled with juicy prurient details, but she really only shines and opens up into her skills as a writer when she's writing about nature. I don't think she was ready to write this, and in the end, reading this feels like pushing someone wounded to keep talking about the worst parts of her life.

So Exhibit 208754 for What's Wrong with the Publishing Industry's Obsession with Memoir ( )

Tracy Ross has written a powerful memoir that will resound with many, assuredly staying with the reader. Her story is open, honest and painfully true.

Losing her father when she was a very young child, Tracy felt blessed in gaining a doting stepfather not long thereafter. They become very close throughout her childhood, and all seemed right in her world. Her family was close; camping trips were commonplace. Her stepfather taught Tracy many things about the Idaho nature, wildlife, and living life to the fullest on these family outings. However, his love and affection for Tracy turned very wrong when on a camping trip her stepfather began to sexually abuse her. Tracy was eight years old.

Eventually, Tracy fights back. Leaving home as a teen, she reveals the truth. This tears the family apart, finally forcing them all to face buried secrets and carefully hidden flaws. As Tracy was betrayed as a child, the family felt she now betrayed them. It takes years for them all to admit the truth.

Growing up fast, Tracy goes through many changes, and encounters many situations. She learns hard-earned lessons. Tracy's lifelong love for nature and the outdoors takes her from her native Idaho to Alaska, and eventually to Colorado. It was nature that always held Tracy together, and ultimately helped her to heal.

There finally comes a point where Tracy is able to confront her stepfather, as an adult. This takes immense courage, for which I admire her. In doing so, Tracy is able to come to terms with what happened to her, and that she survived.

Tracy Ross's story is full of raw emotion, vulnerability, and ultimately real survival and forgiveness. This is a memoir not to be missed. ( )

Memoir by a woman who was molested by her stepfather starting when she was 8 into her teen years. She recounted that time period and her life afterwards, what it did to her and her family and how she attempted to find peace for herself and forgive him.
It was difficult to read because you don't want to even think that anyone can do that to a child. It really messed her up and it made me sad. Definitely a worthwhile read and I was cheering her on. ( )

Forgiveness is often the hardest thing to do, yet it is also one of the most liberating things. Forgiving the man who sexually abused you is almost unheard of. Tracy Ross has written a heart-wrenching story that takes us into the darkest part of her life. Through her eyes we are shown her life, her pain and her survival. Her first outdoor experiences with her step-father are the experiences she retreats to as she begins to explore and try to understand the situation. The outdoors is her safe haven. This is a recommended read for anyone and everyone concerned with the abuses that go on around them. ( )

Update: I received a finished copy of the book, and although I didn't completely re-read the book, it looks like the editing errors that I found annoying have been corrected.

Tracy Ross, as a young child, dearly loved her stepfather, more a real father to her than her biological father who died when she was an infant. Until, that is, he started sexually abusing her. She continued to love him, but her love was mixed with hate and confusion. And this conflict colored the rest of her life.

This memoir is heartfelt and touching, and I am so sorry that Ms. Ross experienced what she did. The abuse never went to the level of rape in the technical sense, but this story proves that it doesn't have to be that violent in order to be devastating.

The story starts with the adult author going on a wilderness backpacking trip with her stepfather, just the two of them, to the same place the abuse started, an attempt at understanding the past and at getting some closure. And then she tells how it all began.

The story is also about conflicts and contradictions. As a child, Tracy “was a sucker for any four-legged creature” but happily went hunting with her stepfather, killing and helping gut one of the animals that she is a sucker for. I just don't get that. She also sent out mixed messages to her stepdad, which I understand is pretty common for children in this situation. She wants the abuse to stop but she also wants his love and attention. What I had more trouble understanding are the bad decisions she continued to make as an adult. And she made some really bad decisions.

For someone who writes “It states in my personal rule book that I never, ever discuss anything having to do with my period, ovulation, or contraception, and I remember wishing that everyone associated with my pregnancy had been given a copy so that they could to the same,” there was way too much information about childbirth. As an adult, she continued to carry her victim mentality.

As wrong as her stepfather was, I just couldn't understand her mother. She continued to put her daughter in compromising situations, such as demanding that her daughter model a new swimsuit for the stepdad, knowing that there had been abuse and knowing that her daughter was uncomfortable with doing it. Seeming to value the stepdad over the daughter. What kind of mother does things like that? Again, I just don't get that.

While the story is an important one and it was certainly brave of the author to tell it, I do have some problems with it. The copy I read was an advance reader's edition so mistakes are to be expected and the quotes may be changed, but even for an ARE, it was in serious need of editing. Typos can be easily fixed, but there were places where the same sentences were repeated a paragraph or two later, and this didn't seem to be for effect. Or if it was, it wasn't successful. Also, during much of the middle of the book, I felt like I was being beat over the head about the abuse. I know about the abuse. To me, it took away from the story to explain everything with writing again that she had been abused. Sometimes, less is more.

I enjoyed the Alaska stories, her treks in the mountains. I didn't like the parts about the dog mushers because that is a personal sore spot of mine. I know, first-hand as well as second, of too many abuses in the “sport,” and I just can't condone it.

So...overall, this is a touching, honest, and brave book, but the writing was a bit too uneven for me to love it.

Thank you to the publisher for giving me a copy of the book for review. ( )