TPBM #95 - Luther, the theses, the girl and everything

Yes!

TPBM will read about it here.

This post intentionally left blank.

//Phaedra - My daughter, whose birthday is in August, insists that I make her a pumpkin pie for her birthday. It must have candles, too. And then of course during Thanksgiving weekend it's an orgy of pumpkin pie eating.//

>1 SomeGuyInVirginia: >2 SomeGuyInVirginia:

I've read about something twice over here, but I'm not sure what!

TPBM wiill - with or without the help of Edison - enlighten us

I realized that my birthday should be a day to celebrate my mom - after all, the event it commemorates was a bigger deal for her than anyone else.

TPBM also has a great mom.

Yes indeed I do. I have MS and she - at the age of 88 - comes to visit me regularly, do some of the things I cannot, and generally helps me out. She's deaf as a post but I love her dearly.

TPBM will continue the deserving theme.

//Phaedra...a friend from online is Jewish and her birthday often falls during Passover. While she'd have a party of sorts, she'd be disappointed the years she couldn't have a "proper" birthday cake.//

I get great leads on LT for books to add to my TBR list. Thanks LT for being here for all of us.

TPBM wonders where WHL is hiding these days.

Hmm. Who is that hammering at the church door?

TPBM knows why there were only 95.

Because a focus group said 1,739 seemed "preachy"?

TPBM is a policy maker.

Yes, at home I make all the policies.

//>10 SomeGuyInVirginia: I think 1,739 sounds peachy.//

TPBM is looking forward to a relaxing evening.

I am but I'm not going to have one. LOL After work we are picking up the grandson and the weekend will pass in a whirling twister of cartoons, Legos, board games, football and swords.

TPBM is going to eat out this evening.

Only some cake, sold in aid of Children in Need at my choir practice.

TPBM would really miss take-aways

Aak! Leaped.

No way! If I have to pick it up myself that's too close to cooking. I want that pizza on a drone and at my balcony door within a half hour.

I am not. I'm getting over bronchitis so I will hit the cough syrup and probably be in bed by 9:00pm.

TPBM keeps a Fantastic Beast.

Oh dear, twice leaped. :-(

No! But I had a FANTASTIC lunch out at one of my favourite restaurants - kalamari breadcrumb-fried in lemon, garlic and tarragon, followed by coq-au-vin, and finished with a creme caramel that's the finest in the world! (Are you hungry now? Oh damn - now I am...)

TPBM will describe their favourite meal out in 2016.

//I wish LT had a FB-style "Someone is typing..."//

Two of them, Kitty William and Inara Starbuck, our two fearless and fantastic kitties.



TPBM keeps a more exotic Fantastic Beast.

Does a semi-feral cat count?

The person below me keeps a Mundane Beast.
;-)

I think it's more like Hobo keeps me, actually. He was a rescue, but I got the best part of that deal. His siblings have lost most of their anxiety since he came to stay with us; before then they wouldn't come out from under the furniture.



TPBM buys their pet presents.

Every Christmas and birfdee. I used to leave a Christmas gift on Buddy, The Coolest Cat of All Time (TM)'s tiny grave, but I moved and the new property owners have a gun.

TPBM washes the feet of the poor.

Not, mea culpa, even metaphorically but I do know that Podiatry is one of the most welcome services provided at Crisis at Christmas.

//SomeGuy - what you need is a drone for your deliveries, surely?//

TPBM volunteers.

So far just the Friends of the Chatham Community Library as a Member-at-Large, but I might get involved in either the local food pantry or the local women's shelter after the new year.

TPBM has been volunteering for the same organization for many, many years.

Sometimes when I look at my paycheck I feel like a volunteer, so yeah, I guess so.

TPBM is going over the river and through the woods for Thanksgiving.

Just up the freeway, twice in one day. After my mom died, I looked for new traditions. So at lunch I gather with family and extended family in the old tradition and then, gluttony!, go out with new friends in the evening to a colorful café.

The person below me understands why we say up the freeway going north even though it is down in elevation...

Because maps. (Unlike with Lizzy Bennet's trip, in which Darbyshire is very north, but still "down.")

The person below me ain't going anywhere.

Nope, I'm just going to sit here feeling sorry for myself until the freezing comes out of my mouth, then I'll prepare myself a very late lunch.

TPBM prefers paper maps to electronic.

I like them both. I used to be the kid in the back seat with the map marking off what towns we went through as we got closer and closer to Grandma's. Why, yes, that was before Interstates.

But trying to read a map while driving is not my idea of fun. I like my phone talking to me.

TPBM prefers other things.

I used to "wing it" by a mix of luck, commonsense, intuition, and where the sun is in the sky... but since MS I've planned every journey, often with the help of Street View in Google Maps.

TPBM has an interesting story about Google Maps.

My brother's house street view is not present on Google maps. He has a hate-hate relationship with his neighbor and installed x-rated gingerbread trim. The best you get is a view of the alley side.

TPBM wants the address.

Well, I sure want that story.

TPBM does as well.

Of course, I want the story. The address would be fun, too..... but if we only get to see the alley side then probably not worth it.

:)

TPBM has checked out their abode on Google Maps and/or Zillow.

Indeed I have! The previous address was several years out of date, as Google showed a device on top of my car that I only had a few months, so I could date it fairly precisely. The current address is a 'complex' up a driveway and no-one has allowed Google up here yet. :-)

TPBM also has a story about their address on Google Maps.

When I lived outside NYC, the satellite view showed my car, but the street view showed a distorted image of the school bus which was passing in front of the place at the same time the Google car was going by.

When I visited San Antonio in 2011, I was sitting in the front seat of my host's car. We were waiting for a red light to change when a Google car drove through the intersection. So my face might have been on a San Antonio street view, but since I was a stranger to the city and don't remember what street we were on, I haven't checked.

TPBM has a street story.

My husband is walking in front of our barn in our Google street view.

TPBM has a favourite street.

//>28 2wonderY: C'mon! You can't just throw 'x-rated gingerbread trim' into the ring then drop the mic and peace out. The beans. Spill them.//

//>28 2wonderY: Hear hear!//

//>28 2wonderY: It certainly conjures up interesting images in my imagination...

//Sigh! I'd love to satisfy your curiosities, but I have nothing. I'm guilty for my brother's actions before the fact, because I gave him the book which inspired his work. But I can't find any reference to the book here or elsewhere. It was a collection of photographs of house trims, and the last chapter had some naughty examples. I tried googling for images yesterday, but only found G-rated work. (I even used some search terms on my work computer that could get me in hot water!) I'm afraid y'all are gonna have to fall back on your imaginations. Enjoy!//

That would be the street were you live, kiddo.

//Well, I Googled 'naughty gingerbread trim' but I don't think that was what you were talking about. And people, there are some real freaks out there. Real freaks.//

TPBM is hitting the road.

Only to the store to pick up a couple of things in anticipation of daughter's coming to visit - already did all the shopping for Thanksgiving, and we'll be 10 at table for Thanksgiving here at our house.

TPBM is hitting the road for Thanksgiving.

No. I'm the recipient of those hitting the road. It's gonna be a houseful.

TPBM's favorite pie is ___________.

The one in front of me.

TPBM would rather roll with ____________.

Paul McCartney and Wings (some of you will understand that one!)

TPBM's favourite Wings song is _______________ .

Happy Turkle Dee, you Magnificent Beasts! Both in the new world and the old and everywhere else.

// Thank you, but here on the continent all non-Americans have no Thanksgiving day today, but Sinterklaas ( St. Nicolas) and Peters are in the Low Lands until the fifth of December; they are riding during the nights, in the wind over the roofs and they are throwing gifts through the chimneys { mostly to the children, who have placed their shoes with a carrot for the Sint's white horse in front of the fire place - or central heating :-) - , hopefully they have sung Sinterklaas songs to gain a small gift, for example a chocolate letter. }

Two weeks ago in the churches( mainly in the protestant ch.) it was 'Dankdag' = Thanks Day for crops and labor. //

>44 EMS_24:

//That's 'Harvest Festival' in Britain, usually earlier than October / November (perhaps late September?)//

I actually only remember one but I don't remember it's title. Ask me about a Beatles song and I'd be better prepared. And the Dave Clark Five. And maybe a slew of others from the sixties and seventies. And I liked the Kingston Trio from the 50's. I guess my music tastes go back quite a ways.

The person below me has more contemporary tastes.

Well, kind of. I grew up in the 60s, so the 70s and 80s are more my scene. But as I subscribe to MOJO magazine I keep up to date with recent stuff too ... and a lot is extremely good! One just has to filter out the current pop charts dominated by Simon Cowell / XFactor rubbish, and something that is called "R&B", but isn't.

TPBM has equally decided views on popular music.

Yes I do. I ignore it completely. My favs are from the 60s and 70s, too, with a smattering of 80s stuff. After that, not so much. My real love is baroque music.

TPBM has been to a concert by one of their favorite singers or groups.

Yes, most of them. I even saw Spinaltap in concert, and that's not even a real band. Measurable hearing loss and totally worth it.

ETA //Happy St. Catherine's Day, LTers!//

TPBM likes swing and bop.

I'm no expert but that's what my dad liked to listen to, so I grew up hearing it. In his youth, Dad played the clarinet in a swing band.

TPBM knows how to swing.

Not without a rope, and, as everyone knows, it don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing.

TPBM likes to strike a balance

Well, I do really. Any balance. With its sanctimony pouring of it and always sucking up to justice. It' very easy to strike a balance; very strikeable.

TPBM bangs a gong.

What, with my hub cap diamond star haloes? Not on your life! Oh, go on then.

TPBM is faster than most and lives by the coast

I'm the slowest poke in the west, east, north and south - used to drive my mother crazy; people in my life now have adapted. Although I grew up near the most easterly point in North America, I've since moved inland. I keep a bottle of Atlantic Ocean in my fridge so I'll always be able to smell the sea!

TPBM keeps something unusual in their fridge.

Powdered buttermilk. I used to keep fresh buttermilk until daughter moved away. I made lots of pancakes, waffles, and biscuits. But now I make those rarely, so powdered works best and if you don't keep it in the refrigerator it hardens into an unfortunate and unusable mass.

TPBM also keeps something unusual in their fridge.

My husband, now deceased 25 years, kept a tiny packet of pot seeds in the freezer. They are still there, though the appliance has been updated. My daughters thought that was way cool as adolescents.

TPBM remains hip, peachy keen, copacetic... daddio.

//way cool, Ruth!//

Peachy keen jelly bean!

//Yes, very cool kiddo.//

TPBM makes a pilgrimage.

I guess you could call our visit today to the annual farm toy sale a pilgrimage. It is only 20 minutes away, but I think my husband considers it a sacred journey.

TPBM collects something. (Not books—that would be like saying you collect oxygen.)

Lladro Christmas Bells. I have them all, except for this year's. That will be a Christmas present from my husband.

TPBM also collects something. And, also not books. :)

I collect snowmen figurines, but not necessarily by choice. My mom started it, when I was a baby - she would get me a new one every year, so I had as many snowmen as my age. (My sister gets angels, brother gets santas).

My husband's mother didn't understand that it was a special thing with my mom, so she started buying me several snowmen every year. After 23 christmases with her, I have every kind of snowman now. I have ceramic ones, glass ones, lighted ones, stuffed ones, animatronic ones that dance when you make noise near them, big ones, small ones, tree ornaments, rugs, window decals, wooden signs, dishes and glassware, pencils, sheets, towels, pillows, and more.

My favorite one will always be the one my great-grandfather carved by hand for me when I was 10.

TPBM also has stuff that never gets unpacked from storage.

Unfortunately. But I'm going to try to get a handle on all my stuff in 2017. I'm downsizing and some motivation.

I like hearing about the collections. The person below me will tell us about his or hers. Again, not books.

Aak! Leaped!

I collect comics, especially EC horror comics from the 50s and I have ever since I was a kid. Dealers can be real pains when you're 13 and want to look at a comic that costs $200.

TPBM has seen it all.

No, not at all, but I collect tea tins. Sort of. At least I rarely throw out one. Ten years ago I loaned some of them to a guy, who arranged an exhibition about tea. Recently I unpacked one of the boxes and found quite a lot of small porcelain bowls in it.
I'm sure they had been bought for the exhibition and when it was over he had just put them in the box as a gift for me. So now I use them quite a lot.

TPBM has also discovered such "lost and found" treasures years after they were "lost".

I wouldn't call them treasures, but I've found stuff when going thru boxes (especially after my house got flooded from Hurricane Irene and I was moving to the apartment) that I forgot I even had. The best find was probably when I found several hundred dollars in one box of assorted papers and other stuff. I figure it was one of my "emergency" stashes, but I had no idea how it wound up in that box, and it had to have been there awhile as the "youngest" bill was dated several years before.

TPBM keeps better track of paperwork.

When it's banknotes I certainly do, although, not so long ago, I found a pristine 10/- note left in a book as a bookmark. I must have put it there before 1971 when they ceased to be legal tender (after decimalisation).

TPBM has come across other bookmarks of interest.

I haven't come across any of interest that I can recall, but I do have a large quantity of my own, including one of my favorites - Elvis with his guitar.

//>61 Darth-Heather: That's funny about the snowmen. My mom always got us tacky useless Christmas gifts even when we begged her to stop giving them, but one year she thought someone told her that I collected snowmen (I didn't and don't) and I got about 30 gaudy cheap snowman figurines, potholders, wall hangings, ornaments, etc from her. When I opened it with a surprised look she said "Well you collect them don't you?" So I sighed, yes and hoped there wouldn't be a repeat gift the next year.//

TPBM Has found and interesting note or letter.

Once, in a house that had been abandoned for years and was listing to port and about to fall down, I climbed into the attic and found between the ceiling joists an old Wonder Woman comic from the 1940s, and a guest book from the 1830s. It must have been from a grander house than the old farm house I found it in, and was full of the names of visitors as well as drawings made by them (one was labeled '$10,000 mansion' and was of what looked like a castle.) I think the book belonged to one of Bobby Lee's sisters, at least she seems to be the book's owner, and as soon as I dig it out of storage I'll send it to UVA or the Lee family society. It was nice to have it for a while, though.

TPBM found something else in a book, or a book.

On the fly-leaf of a beautifully brass and leather bound prayer book that my Mum-in-Law got at a church "jumble sale" I found a list of the family sons brothers and husbands lost in Queen Victoria's "little wars". (Even Napoleon's son was noted when the Zulu got him in Africa.) The list ended in a different hand stating the loss of "my beloved wife', so it seems it was hers.
//From genealogy sites I found the family - in Australia - and was able to return it to the family//

TPBM found a book too!

// >66 abbottthomas: Sorry to be geeky, but you put that there in 1969 or before, as that's when 10/- stopped being legal tender! //

I'm not sure I've been looking for a book? All the ones I specifically look for usually come to hand quite quickly. What I like is books as pressies as I can never have too many...

TPBM has recently re-read something they last read ages ago, and will tell us what it was.

My will. It was in dire need of updating.

TPBM will share a secret.

Of course. Gather round. No, closer. Closer still. Ok? {whispers...}

TPBM will repeat what they thought they heard.

The gremlins had baloney for lunch.

The person below me often hears things wrong. (My favorite has always been "Hark the Hairy Angels Sing.")

My sister is the champion - she always thought that the line in Quantum Jump's 'Lone Ranger' hit ("Maybe masked man he a poofter, try it on with surly Tonto") was "...try it on with Shirley Thompson"!

TPBM has another misheard lyric

In The Netherlands we hear Dutch words and phrases in English lyrics, we even have a name for that: 'Mama Appelsap' ( mama apple juice) , token from Michael Jackson's 'Wanna be starting something' : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFX6a8OPtYI, at 3.10 . In énglish' he sings: Ma Ma Se,
Ma Ma Sa, Ma Ma Coo Sa . That has become a section of a popular talk show. In eleven years listeners have found hundreds of examples, at the beginning of the same video sings Youssou N'Dour at 0.23: Pak mijn, pak mijn telefoon, bel niet, bel niet, doe normaal, what means: "Grab my, take my phone, don't call, don't call, act normal (behave)".
Of course there are a lot of naughty examples, which you may discover yourself.

TPBM has an English example again.

Pizzicato Five, a Japanese new-wave pop band, uses English phrases in their songs. My favorite (song) is 'Go-go Dancer', but I love the song title 'Baby Love Child'.

TPBM consults an oracle.

Only when I don't like the answers I get on the Magic 8 ball.

TPBM has the gift of gab.

um. no. not really.

TPBM wishes they had the gift of gab.

Yes.

*smile*

Actually if I'm with family or close friends I'm chatty, otherwise rather self-contained.

TPBM is an extrovert.

I probably should have been one, but no.

TPBM is running for office.

The only thing I'm running for is the elevator.

TPBM saves for a rainy day.

I do, but there are so many rainy days here that I don't have much.

TPBM lived through a disaster.

Yes, several - all natural. Otherwise I could not reply!

TPBM is a natural disaster

Not me personally, you're thinking of my apartment.

TPBM is a naturally good housekeeper.

Hahaha. Hahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahaha. (Picks self up off floor, and spends next half hour looking for disinfectant).

TPBM knows where the disinfectant is kept.

At the store where it belongs.

TPBM loves to climb trees.

Not any more, but I did when I was young and strong.....

TPBM leaps tall buildings in a single bound.

For certain values of "leap", "tall", and "building".

TPBM progresses by leaps and bounds.

and regresses by trips and falls.

TPBM is a natural ___________

Procrastinator. But let me think about that. Can I get back to you later?

Sooner or later TPBM will ______________.

get a round to it. I've already got a square to it and I think the pair would be nice. Or really, I'll settle for just a second round.

TPBM puts the cart before the horse.

Only when the horse is feeling pushy.

TPBM often holds the reins.

# >81 SomeGuyInVirginia:

Yes!!

A friend gave me a round tuit years ago. I think he was hinting at something...

I'm getting older and holding the reins isn't as important anymore. I don't always succeed, but I try.

The person below me is a my-way-or-the-highway kind of person.

I'm pretty flexible.

TPBM can tumble like a gymnast.

I wouldn't be the first guy in this town to take a fall for the powers that be.

TPBM leaps like a gazelle.

Like a gazelle that broke all 4 legs after going out on the town last night, and now drugged up on painkillers...

TPBM takes all night to do what they used to do all night...

It still takes me all night to get a full night's sleep. I dunno, am I doing something incorrectly?

TPBM gits 'er done.

As long as you're not in a hurry.

TPBM hurries to ______________.

The next damn thing.

TPBM skips to ___________.

the loo, my darling.

Skipping, hopping, jogging... whatever gets me there in a hurry. Getting older is hell on the bladder.

TPBM races __________.

to the porcelin throne at 3 AM when I have had a beer after 6 PM.

TPBM knows a cure (that doesn't include my beverage of choice. . . Guinness!!).

Guinness -- it's what's for breakfast!

TPBM has a more helpful suggestion.

There was this Irishman who went out to water his cabbages and heard a little voice calling "Help me! Help me!" He looked down and saw a leprechaun caught in a gin trap (which he had set to deter the rabbits from eating his cabbages). He gently let the little thing free. "Thank you, thank you," said the sprite, "You can have three wishes for that act of kindness".

After thinking for a few minutes, the Irishman, whose name was Diarmid, said "I'd like enough Guinness to last me the rest of my life." "Done" said the leprechaun, "What next?" After some time Diarmid said "I'd like enough bread and cheese to last me the rest of my life." "Done! What's your third wish?"

After very long cogitation, and several impatient nudges from the leprechaun who was anxious to get home after his trying day, Diarmid said "Can I have a bit more Guinness?"

TPBM has been helped by this.

Guinness has helped me accomplish many heroic feats and live a life of chivalric valor. And once or twice it's left me praying for death. Which only means that Guinness has helped me be even more heroic by approaching the divine with penitential reverence, so even when it's bad it's win/win.

TPBM is more pragmatic.

Yup. I have given up on hangovers, so don't drink more than one glass of anything in one sitting.

TPBM can drink more than one glass of anything without fear of a hangover.

I can because I've learned my limit. It took a few times, but I eventually I learned.

TPBM feels the stress of the holiday season.

Even earlier than most, since my family is on the other side of the country. I should be wrapping and mailing already, but I've been slacking. I did finish all the shopping, though. Thank the Gods for the InterWebs.

TPBM stresses out.

I'm stressing even at the thought of Interwebbing my Xmas. Hey ho. Soon be the 2nd of January. Inshallah.

TPBM gets stressed by _____________

Me: Did you get any information about university applications?

Son: Ah, darn! I keep forgetting to do that. Maybe you'll have to take the initiative and phone the school to ask.

Me: You're preparing to go away to university. There's a certain amount of responsibility involved in that process.

Applications should be submitted by Christmas. Stress.

TPBM gets stressed by ____________.

It's always the children, isn't it? I had a run-in with my youngest grand this weekend. He stridently continued to insist that he hadn't written his name in toothpaste on the bathroom door. I think he convinced himself. I was reduced to theorizing an evil twin. Gah!

TPBM always (well, almost always) tells the truth.

Yes, of course. Except for those little lies everyone tells everyday, and since everyone does it, it's okay. Right?

TPBM rationalizes.

Not if it's something important.

TPBM ratiocinates.

??? Is that like Pennsyltucky or Hysterical Museums?

TPBM always understands these "words".

My favorite of "these words" is Joyceʻs (FW)
"the Willingdone museyroom".

I understand nothing, other than don't stand under flying cows.

TPBM can pull a fast one.

In my day, it was the guys who did most of the pulling. And boy, were they fast! Hands everywhere...

TPBM remembers some of their student days without much affection.

Ah! Bright College Days! As Tom Lehrer sang "Soon we'll be out amid the cruel world's strife. Soon we'll be sliding down the razor-blade of life."

TPBM has ordered the Christmas goose.

I did! And was a little shocked by the price! Goose prices have gone up since last time I got one.

TPBM is bringing the figgy pudding.

Aak! Leaped!

I thought I was supposed to bring da funk?

TPBM took a gander.

I am not a thief!

TPBM will share a few words of wisdom.

"Woman who seek equality with men, lack ambition" (qua Confucius)

TPBM will share more words of wisdom.

You reap what you sow. I've been thinking about this one. A friend recently passed and she had the best end-of-life care I've ever seen. She deserved it. And karma is karma, after all.

The person below me has more wisdom to share.

Everything in moderation.

TPBM will continue.

Don't Google scary stuff. I don't want to know.

TPBM is a font of wisdom.

Of unrelated facts that only I want to know about. I share them and people start shaking their heads. . .

TPBM's font of wisdom is appreciated by many!

My font of wisdom is a 'singing waters' variety, loved by many, with a light show included. Please refer to the Bellagio in Las Vegas for a poor substitute. I can really make Aristotle come alive for modern audiences!*

TPBM is pragmatic, grounded, and even-keeled.

*(Beverages and gratuity not included. Please let the host know if you are allergic to glitter or post-Marxist literary theory.)

I'm so pragmatic people think I'm a professional cynic/skeptic rather than a professional Tarot reader. Life is complicated.

TPBM has an interesting profession.

It's not as interesting as Tarot reader, newp.

TPBM plays it as it lays.

I know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em.

TPBM never counts their money when they're sittin' at the table.

Not when I'm playing with my mother; she's a card shark. She does this dizty Edith Bunker thing and then cleans out everyone. If you come to visit, you gotta bring nickels to play with, although she will condescend to sell you some of hers if you don't have any. She's been playing this racket for decades. Still got it at 93 and 11/12th.

I can't hear Kenny Rogers without hearing my late husband's version:
http://www.neopagan.net/IB_Songs_OtherSilly.html#Wizard

TPBM can't hear __________ without hearing _____________.

Can't hear 'Silent Night' without hearing it the way my brother sang it when we were kids: "sleep in heavenly Peeeete". (his name is Peter. He sang it that way at church and got us both grounded for giggling)

TPBM has another one.

Can't hear Quantum Jump's Lone Ranger - where they sing "Maybe masked man, he a pooftah, get it on with surly Tonto" without hearing what my sister told me she heard and now it's stuck... "Maybe masked man, he a pooftah, get it on with Shirley Thompson".

TPBM has another misheard lyric.

Not funny but "I'm in pieces, big fat pieces..." Dave Clark Five (I was surprised to find out it was bits and pieces.)

The person below me has also misheard a lyric.

When I sang Winter Wonderland as a child I thought it was "Later on, we'll perspire as we dream by the fire. It made sense to me since they would be sitting close to the fire.

TPBM has another.

I always wondered what Hendrix was trying to say in 'Purple Haze' when he sang '' 'scuse me while I kiss this guy". It is really "kiss the sky".

TPBM sings in a chorus.

Not in years. And singing is a use or lose it thing for me. I sometimes sing in the car and am horrified at the badness of it. (I listen to audio books instead of music mostly. Sometimes NPR.)

The person below me sings a different tune.

If you mean OUT of tune, then yes, that's me.

TPBM is expecting snow. Lots of snow.

This weekend, a little, the last weekend before all hell breaks loose. So yay! I'll Mad Max my car and hit the road.

TPBM is really getting a lot of the white stuff.

Ummmm, no. It is supposed to be close to 80 degrees today. (Possibly record setting.) But it will cool down next week. I think it will only be in the 60's. There is a reason my town doubles in size in the winter... "In Arizona we salt margaritas, not roads."

The person below me has a saying for his or her home that tickles the funny bone.

An old Chicago witticism: our aldermen are honest; when they're bought, they stay bought.

TPBM has another.

Build a fence around the South and you'd have one big madhouse.

TPBM walketh about, seeking whom they may devour.

No, it's too cold to walketh about today.

TPBM devotes a whole day to reading sometimes.

I used to. Now I feel the burden of organizing the sale of 3000 books from my library (only 2000 left to go) weighing so heavily on me (literally weighing -- 2000 books weigh a lot) that when I take breaks to do other things I feel guilty. I even stopped going to the public library. "Read what's in the danged house" I tell myself. But then I spend the afternoon scanning covers instead. The plan is to get my in-house holdings down to about 500. Getting rid of the rest of them has taken over my life. Heading to a used bookstore today with about 100 books; maybe they'll take a few. If they do, I'll spend more time updating the books' statuses in my catalog, which always takes longer than I wish it would but I get twitchy if I can't document everything.

TPBM is much less OCD about their physical library.

Well I had to google OCD just to make sure, but no, I am not.

TPBM knows where the "girl" of the thread title comes in.

SomeGuy obviously does. Apart from his enthusiasm for nailing things on doors I'm a bit light on Luther. I popped down to the chained books in the Old Library and found that the girl was Katharina von Bora. She was a nun who, with eleven friends, had been popped into herring barrels by ML to get them away from a nunnery. I'm sure any girl would be grateful and, despite the 15 year age difference, she duly clove to him. He had been a lot of trouble to Pope Leo X and now he was proposing that priests could marry - dear oh dear! They had lots of children so clearly got on well.

TPBM will consider further the paths of true love, whether running smooth or not.

I think a willingness to climb into a herring barrel should be the yardstick by which true love is measured. Climb into a herring barrel; true love. Hide behind a herring barrel; you'll do better on no. 2.

TPBM espouses.

I espouse family holiday traditions.

TPBM has a special holiday tradition they will share.

Let's see - it's either the fruit stolen on Xmas breakfast or crackers on Xmas dinner - the crowns are always too small for my extra - large head and the jokes are really sick but they are such fun.

TPBM has some more good ones to share!

Ginger wine. Though latterly some of us can't tolerate alcohol, so we've found a NA Dickensian version that Holland & Barrett sells.

TPBM will continue the theme..

//FYI- Open Road Media is giving away free hundreds of Kindle eBooks on Amazon US. Several really good authors.//

We have an open table on Christmas eve, and invite lots of people over for stew and sandwiches and chips. It used to be a full dinner, but the simpler food really took a lot of the stress out of the day. Everybody's bundled off by 9pm and we open one single gift.

TPBM has another.

Not EVER watching the Queen on TV on Christmas Day. :-) (Not as inspiring as yours I'm afraid SGIV)

TPBM has another.

After my mom died, I told everyone that I wasn't cooking anymore on Christmas Eve. (We always celebrated on Christmas Eve so the other relatives could be there.) So now we go out for Chinese food on Christmas Eve. The attendees seem to change every year but it is fun. And I don't have to cook, clean, listen to ungrateful relatives complain about my cooking and cleaning. Christmas Day is always lunch at the senior living place where my mom lived. Her "posse" still likes to see us.

The person below me puts up holiday decorations.

Hardly any this year. I thought I might be packing to move at the end of the month, but it's gotten pushed back.

However, I once wrote a blog about a holiday decor miracle:
http://neopagan.net/blog/2014/12/20/on-gifts-friendship-and-love/

TPBM has a good story, too.

//Phae That is a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your loss. You are one strong lady!

None I can think of right now, so let's write our own Christmas Story by everyone contributing. I'll start.

It was the week before Christmas and...

TPBM will continue.

//>156 PhaedraB: May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe.//

....at the farmers' market there was not a goose to be had, not even for ready money. Bill was ....

TPBM etc., etc....

...starting to consider kidnapping one from the pond at the hotel, but suddenly...

TPBM...

...a dozen motorcycles, their riders dressed as Santa, went roaring by on the road leading to...

TPBM...

...Rovaniemi, in front of whose sole indoor market they screeched to a halt, gravel flying, and...

TPBM...

...they were closing the door as they were out of everything. Fortunately, there was...

TPBM...

A street vendor whose red-and-white-striped canopied pushcart...

TPBM...

...appeared to be open for business, and was doing a brisk trade in...

TPBM...

hash brownies, sugar pigs and Old Carthusian ties. The Santa bikers......

tucked in their chiffon blouses, kicked started their Harley reindeer, and with feather boas sailing behind them in the wind they...

headed down the long and winding road toward....

TPBM

... an untimely end.

//>166 abbottthomas: what's a sugar pig?//

//>170 morningwalker: This: http://www.john-bull.com/products/sugar-pig
There seems to have been a run on them as several sites, including Amazon, are out of stock!//

Bill, meanwhile, was still lurking around the hotel pond and trying to decide whether the Canada geese were better eating than the white ones when he saw, appearing out of.........

the pond and riding a clam shell, luscious Venus, naked as the day she was born and ...

..she presented Bill a ready-cooked goose.

It was dripping with greenish water and pond-weed and could hardly have been lukewarm, let alone hot, but Bill realised it would be churlish to complain. Reaching out, he.......

closed the clam shell and pushed Venus back into the pond, unable to face even a hint of disappointment on so lovely a face. He felt this way because, in his youth, ...

...he had auditioned for the part of Donald Tramp, but the producers told him he was too...

Ethnic, and they feared an uprising of oompa loopas everywhere, or worse, a scandal. But their best laid plans came to naught as naughty cries of 'wonkahu akbar!' yodeled throughout the land, their yodelers behaving in generally disagreeable ways.

"Where's the goose?" shouted...

...Hillary, but it was too late - the goose couldn't hear her as he was already on the way to the White...

Castle for a couple of sliders and a malted. And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Brussels that all the world...

... should adopt a certain bleached comb-over hairstyle.

Know as the reverse mullet, it...

...caught on for a certain sector of the...

...nostalgic. Modernists, however...

-edited for leaping-

...continued to liken it to a wild and wooly type of hamster. Artists trying to draw it discovered...

...that it was in fact a hamster when...

...it mated with a...

Lady Overmoore's chinchilla clutch. Hilarity ensued as...

//OK peeps, I'm out for the duration. Have a Merry Christmas or, if you're not an infidel, enjoy to a culturally appropriate degree whatever fake Christmas you celebrate. You are all cherished friends!//

...the bastard offspring of the hamster and chinchilla. Despite being voted a success, ...

//and to you and yours SGIV. Long rule Yule! //

the toupee hamchilla continued it's quest for world domination by...

...recruiting a wide variety of rodents and other peculiar crossbreeds sometimes regarded as vermin. They communicated through a network of...

...hacked emails routed via Russia, aka "social petworking". Putin was not...

about to pet the...

hamchilla toupee, but along came eight tiny...

neo-robots whose presence created
a wholly new ball

...of fun and laughter! Who could have imagined...

that the neo-robots could have that
much influence, Particularly on . . . . .

the beautiful elf queen who sat on her tuffet eating....

Goose!

TPBM had a good Christmas and wishes all of us a happier, safer New Year.

Yes I did, and yes I do!

TPBM is ready for a new year.

Pretty much.

TPBM has a reason to be.

Only if it's a boring new year. I'm old enough to dread interesting times.

TPBM ain't so old.

eta Leaped! But it'll do.

Answer to Phaedra: Oh yeah! Many.

I ain't so old as ... the last century, but a lot older than this one!

Of all the mortal coils shuffled off in 2016, TPBM will miss .................... the most

It's a toss up between Prince and David Bowie. Fond childhood memories took a big hit this year.

TPBM is braced for bad news.

Always, nowadays. It's like a trainwreck out there, eh?

TPBM hears the whistle blowin'

Yeah. It just blew today for (British) actress Liz Smith, author Richard Adams, and - worst of all - Carrie Fisher.

TPBM will continue this depressing theme.

Thanks, but I'd rather not.

TPBM will continue to...

...pack away the snowman decorations! Lordy, they are everywhere. Also, I got three new ones this year, which brings the count over 200.

TPBM also got something they didn't want for a holiday present.

Yes. A portable plastic washing machine. What the?

Why are you packing away the snowmen? They can stay out all winter at my house.

TPBM likes clear spaces.

I do, but it is a never-ending battle with husband, who WILL insist on covering more beautiful empty wall space with pictures and photos.

TPBM keeps putting away more and more stuff as the years progress.

//>212 2wonderY: is that the kind that is like a big ball that you fill with clothes and water and detergent, then roll it around? I got one for camping, but it didn't work all that well. It would be a bit of a strange gift.

The holiday season was a bit of a bummer this year, so I'm packing it up early to try to move on.//

//>214 Darth-Heather: This one cranks. My daughter thought I could use it at the cabin, but I prefer carting my grungy work clothes to her house - Oh! Maybe there is a clue...//

I have been trying to minimize my "stuff". Three times in the past 10 years I've had to empty the homes of elderly relatives after they passed away, and I don't like the thought of someone having to do all that for me someday. If I haven't used something in the past couple of years, I donate or recycle it.

Especially after all the snickering that goes on when we find silly things that people keep for no reason. One grandmother had an entire storage room full of things she had hoarded, because she felt that they were reusable - shoeboxes full of twist-ties and rubber bands and the plastic bags that bread comes in.

TPBM is also minimizing something.

All the rubble on the dining room table (my office these days). I have completed from the door to the table . . . about 4 ft. I shall continue. I'm dreading when the time comes that I have to move my mother from her apartment to assisted living. . . she being 95.

TPBM has a great idea for minimizing the pain!

Do it now and do it often.

When I knew my late husband and I would be moving, I began to look at every possible purchase in the context of, "I like it, but do I like it enough to pay to move it cross-country?" I used to tell him that he had no idea how much money we saved that way.

When he passed, I had to go through all his things in addition to deciding what was worth the cost of moving cross country. He was a bit of a hoarder; for example, trying to get him to part with obsolete computer equipment was...an adventure. There were bins after bins of paperwork were labeled "Sort." I swore then that when I passed, no one was going to have to go through that for me. Or, perhaps more accurately since I live far away from family, no one was going to bother and everything would wind up in a dumpster anyway. So before I left NY I gave away everything that I didn't consider essential. I kept the bins (took me years to go through everything) and the books. I might have been willing to leave the books had they all been cataloged, but they weren't so I hung on to them.

Anyway, I still look at things in terms of, how badly do I want/need this? I keep moving into smaller and smaller apartments, and I ask myself, is this really worth keeping if I have to pay for a storage locker on the off-chance I might need it someday? And if I do want/need it someday, could I re-purchase it for less than it's going to cost me to pay for storage? (I am by nature and necessity tight with a buck, so the storage cost is a strong argument for me.) And do I really need these clothes? I give a lot of stuff away.

I've sold off about a third of the books, but I'll never recoup the insane amount it cost me to move them from one coast to the other. Now I rarely bring books home. I got a kindle.

TPBM has other strategies, perhaps more terse ones.

No, I wish I had your stamina and willingness to get rid of things! I am trying to use "Does keeping this help me meet my goals for the way I want to live." I'm afraid that sometimes my stuff owns me instead of me owning it.

I am in the process of moving and, boy howdy, do I wish I had already downsized!

The person below me is ready for the new year. (I'm not. I was filing something and thought next year was 2016.)

// >218 PhaedraB: Anyway, I still look at things in terms of, how badly do I want/need this?
That's the attitude I've had for awhile now, especially since I moved out of my house into an apartment. I'll often see things I'd love to have, but then think about what purpose they'd serve after I die. Considering my family situation, it's not likely whoever is handling matters after my death is going to want to hang on to much, if anything. The less "junk" there is, the better it'll be for them.//

For me, 2017 isn't going to be very different from 2016, so the "old" year will just flow into the "new" one with nothing of note to differentiate them.

TPBM will be having a quiet new years eve.

Quiet in appearance, happy to say good bye to a particularly nasty year. I'll probably even go to bed before midnight.

TPBM will do a bit of socializing and celebrating for New Year's.

Yes, but nothing wild. More's the pity.

>212 2wonderY: Whaaaa? That's really going to cut into your butter churning time.

TPBM is going to go nuts.

no, not nuts... TACOs. We are having a taco party on New Years Eve. 6 kinds of meats and beans and all the fixins.

TPBM stays up until midnight.

More often than I should. I go to bed earlier than that, but too often I'm still awake at twelve.

TPBM is firm about bedtimes.

Yeah, usually. I hope fatigue allows me to see in the New Year, but it will be by phone to my loved ones! ("Let auld acq-crackle be crackle, and never more to crackle" :D )

TPBM hopes 2017 will not be as disastrous as 2016.

We can only hope.

To all of you, may you have a happy, healthy and safe New Year!

The person below me has a potluck food staple that he or she takes to such gatherings. (And will tell what it is...)

Three (or more) bean salad, which has the virtue of being both familiar and protein-rich for the vegan/vegetarian. Alternately, my mom's German Potato Salad.

http://www.neopagan.net/files/tag-potatoes.php

TPBM has their own favorite.

It's not remotely "pot luck" (I buy it in!), but I find no-one can resist stollen at this time of year.

TPBM has a favourite food for sharing at gatherings.

I make a mean deviled egg. I also, when short on time, buy a cabbage chicken salad from the local Vietnamese restaurant, add some extra cabbage and chicken to stretch it (lots of wonderful dressing to use). Easy, peasy.

The person below me has another.

I looked everywhere for the stove's 'on' button but couldn't find it. If I take food anywhere, it's something I've bought from a deli or a bakery.

TPBM lives near a really great bakery.

I'm glad I don't or I would be a blimp. . . no will power. . . but then I'm a book collector!

TPBM has a great produce market near him. . . I'm lucky enough to have several!!

We have 3 within about 10 miles or so, but since husband isn't a vegetable eater (drat his parents!), I usually just buy a few of whatever I need at the grocery store.

TPBM still goes to a butcher for meats.

Often, although it is easy to be seduced away by supermarkets. I still miss sawdust on the floor and large recognisable sections of animals hanging from hooks in the shop - a more honest approach to meat-eating than plastic trays and clingfilm.

TPBM has a local fishmonger

We are lucky to have several good ones, living near Scheveningen.

TBPM used to buy milk, cheese or eggs directly from a farm, (like we did with last two products)

You would THINK, in Exeter, by the sea... but no. Not to my knowledge anyway. If I want decent fish I will go to The Conservatory, The Côte Brasserie, or Harry's, all great restaurants within reach.

TPBM loves fresh fish, and their favourite is ................

Shark, tuna, halibut, salmon, all of which are so seldom in my budget I'd be hard pressed to say which is my favorite. My favorite is what I can afford!

When I moved to Florida 47 years ago, there was a fishmonger on the corner. But I was from the Midwest and had no idea how to cook anything. So I'd just buy something and see if I could figure it out from my couple of cookbooks. At least my Gulf Coast husband knew how to cook shrimp. I'd make him take the heads off, though.

TPBM has a fishy story.

One got away.

The person below me knows a better one.

It was THIS big.

TPBM will chip in.

In about 1985 I was deep sea fishing off the Southern California coast on a half-day boat with a bunch of co-workers and managed to snag a 5-foot blue shark. Literally, because I wasn't using a wire lead and one of the 5 hooks on the bottom-fishing rig snagged it behind its sharp teeth. It made great shark steaks.

The very next week I was in an isolated and mountainous country near Taos New Mexico and was just as happy catching 5-inch German Brown and other trout.

TPBM has an old tackle box around somewhere.

I inherited it from my grandfather - it has some wonderful hand-carved wooden lures, and a shiner trap he made from an old glass milk bottle. They come with some lovely childhood memories of fishing with Pepere.

TPBM enjoys ice fishing.

The only thing I enjoy that involves the word ice is an ice cold drink on a hot day.

TPBM indulges in winter sports.

Driving home last night I completed a nice round of uphill snow sliding.

TPBM has another one.

Well, it's winter and soccer is a sport so I can rejoice in Tottenham Hotspurs' 2-0 win over north London rivals, Chelsea. Come on, you Spurs!

TPBM supports others

US football team Carolina Panthers, but they've had a crappy season. Husband is a serious UNC Tarheels fan and I sometimes watch just to keep him company. They 'Heels scraped a win over Clemson the other night, giving husband fits the entire game.

TPBM doesn't follow any teams in any sport.

No, I used to watch basketball but they kept trading players. So, to me, the team was always changing and often for the worse. In irritation, I gave it up.

The person below me participated in a team sport.

I used to play volleyball at all the family picnics. It was fun but there always seemed to be that one player who just had to win and would pout it they lost.

TPBM knows one of those people.

>243 abbottthomas: //Spurs beat Chelsea? Yes! As a Liverpool supporter - as is one of my sisters - that's great news. :) //

>222 SomeGuyInVirginia:
///Larry, you are a genius! I combined the tasks. The wet clothing pads the jar, so it doesn't break. Just have to be sure the lid is screwed on tight.///

Yes. We have a cousin and her daughter who made the game playing at a family Christmas party the week before Christmas much more stressful than it needed to be by screaming, pounding on tables, and pouting when they didn't win and gloating when they did win.

TPBM realizes their parents let them win some games when they were a kid.

I was just a tyke and my dad would get down on the floor and wrestle with us. I must have been 4 or 5 and he so convincingly lost the match that I thought for a long time I really had.

TPBM keeps the holiday decorations up at least through yesterday, the 12th day of Christmas.

Yes, I took some down last night, but my wreath stays on until my birthday at the end of January.

The person below me has a birthday tradition to share.

Pumpkin pie instead of cake. Every six years my birthday falls on American Thanksgiving, so I developed a taste for it. At a young age I told my mom, I don't want cake, put candles on the pie!

TPBM has another tradition.

For at least one of three birthdays in a year (husband's mine, or daughter's) we go to our favorite expensive restaurant, The Angus Barn, in Raleigh, NC.

TPBM has a favorite, expensive restaurant that is part of a tradition.

We take my mother (age 95) to her favorite restaurant. She loves it especially for her favorite dessert, creme brulee. It's at the Duling Kurtz House in Whitford PA.

She was stuck in a nursing home last birthday and I did find a place to get her dessert and bring it to her. I'm sure the nurses flipped when they checked her blood sugar!!

TPBM took something else very interesting to someone in a hospital/nursing home!

I smuggled three kittens in a big purse to visit my friend in the hospital - she had heart surgery when the kittens were just four weeks old, and after a week in the hospital she was anxious to see them and couldn't wait another week to get home. It went ok except when they started mewing during the elevator ride. Two nurses in there just gave me a funny look, so I took the stairs after that.

Margie was the sort of person who could charm the birds from the trees, so the nursing staff didn't bust her for having three kittens crawling around on the bed.

They did pee in the purse before I made it home.

TPBM misses an old friend.

I do. College friend Jacqui, met her in 1971 at Pepperdine University Los Angeles Campus. We became dear friends. After I moved to NC, married, and had a child, she just drifted away. I think she felt that our friendship was hard to maintain with her single, having been disappointed in marriage and with no children. I tried to find her several times, even writing letters to her in care of her church, but she never responded.

TPBM has another sad story of a friend drifting away.

Yes, a friend from college. Mike, one of the good guys. "Peckerhead Cahoots is not a spy!"

TPBM kept their grade-school friends.

No, but my best friend of 30 years moved 5 hours away last month and while we made all the usual promises, I know things are going to change. Sigh...I think this is going to be a year for a lot of changes.

>257 SomeGuyInVirginia: Do we know Peckerhead Coahoots?//

TPBM does.

I keep in touch via FB with two high school friends (Class of 1969) and one guy who I've literally known my whole life. His mother was my mother's best friend in high school and both had babies around the same time. Mom says Paul and I used to share a crib. But the odds that I'll ever seen any of them in person again in this lifetime are slim; he's in Illinois, the gals are in Florida, and I'm in Oregon.

TPBM is changing ____________.

His nappies. A bat got into my apartment this weekend. P-Bitty thought I'd gotten him the Coolest. Toy. Ever.

//>258 morningwalker: Does anybody, really, know Peckerhead Cahoots? Who is totally a spy.//

TPBM has two best friends.

No. You can only have one best friend, in my opinion.

//>260 SomeGuyInVirginia: I guess you're right. Do you think he works alone?//

TPBM has already finished their first book of the new year.

Nope, and not even close to finishing one.

//>261 morningwalker: A spy never works alone.//

TPBM is a spy.

You know better than to say that out loud, Komrade.

TPBM has ears.

Meep! Yes, I do! I have both ears! Please let the record show that I have both ears and two eyes, which is the optimum number of eyes. So if an ear goes missing, we know who the guilty party is 2wonderY!

TPBM found the body.

Of course. It was right where I left it (insert maniacal laughter https://youtu.be/pVY1-v97Mic ).

TPBM is in cahoots with 2wonderY.

"The sunset is early for hens at this time of year" ;-)

TPBM has the correct response...

I..um..I really don't want to get involved. This smells of Russian involvement...

TPBM has visited Russia.

Well, not in this life. I am, however, half Czech-American on my mother's side. Does that almost count?

TPBM loves those chunkster Russian novels with dozens and dozens of characters.

I am not now reading, nor have I ever read a chunkster Russian novel.

TPBM knows of buried treasure.

Yes. (But taking SGiV's favorite Plea - the fifth- on where).

TPBM already knows.

X marks the spot, so I've been told.

TPBM has the map.

Yes, indeed I have. Yours for ... 2 tons of Semtex and the keys to Trump Tower.

TPBM would like the treasure in order to...

. . . buy the Brooklyn Bridge .

TPBM has a bridge and would like to buy something else with the treasure!

Security for the future.

TPBM is feeling under the weather or on top of the world.

Naw, just bobbing along. Four days ago I couldn't turn the heat up high enough to get warm in my car, and this afternoon it's going to be in the high 60s. Wackiness!

TPBM is also undergoing unseasonable weather.

Yup and I don't live in Denver (normal up and down according to friends I know). Going to 60 today in SE Pennsylvania, known to the horticulture people as the "banana belt."

TPBM really lives in the banana belt!!

Don't exaggerate! I don't live in it...I take it off sometimes.



TPBM has to be outside, no matter what the weather.

No, but I have great admiration and hot chocolate for the builders who have been out there working on our new driving shed in all the winter weather. Oh, to be young and invincible.

TPBM is feeling under the weather.

Nope. OK, it's time for a 5 minute dance party. Everybody! James Brown on YouTube. Get up offa that thang! Those who can't boogie, do a chair dance. You know you can!

TPBM appreciates the little things. Because they tiny.

As a height-impaired American, I am a fan of little things.

//Some years ago I was in a training group with a mixture of Americans and Europeans. One morning the trainer says, "Let's just do a little James Brown," and immediately all the Americans were singing and dancing "I feel good..." while the Europeans were all, "Was? Was ist das?"//

TPBM gets small.

I wish I could. Think of all the amazing adventures I could have, a la The Borrowers.

TPBM flosses regularly.

Yes I do. Love the feeling of clean teeth.

//>281 karenmarie: one of my favorite books as a child. I remember trying to look under floor boards in my house to see if some "borrowers" lived there. I was always on alert for them, but alas, never found them.//

TPBM brushes their hair 100 strokes every day.

Nope, nor chew 100 times. Who's got that kind of structure?

TPBM is structured.

>280 PhaedraB: //You're kidding me! As a Brit, I've yet to meet anyone younger than half a generation older than me, who doesn't know who James Brown is!!! Maybe they were Germans whose English wasn't very good?//

Feeling pretty deconstructed lately.

TPBM will do something constructive today.

Well, my plan is to buy some groceries, prop my feet up and make a dent in Alex Marwood's The Darkest Secret. And scratch P-Bitty behind the ears. I hope that counts? (The bat was rabies negative, and vale atque ave my chittery little friend. I usually don't have visitors executed. Usually.)

//ETC spallin' and sich.//

TPBM is kind to the environment.

//>284 Tid: German, Austrian and French. Their English was far better than my German (or my non-existent French), but obviously they missed some of the cultural high points.//

I try to be, although as a book reader and collector I'm afraid I've done in quite a few trees over the years. But I recycle paper, glass, cans, and plastic.

TPBM has a fuel-efficient vehicle.

I used to think so. A few years ago, urged by a government scheme, I swapped my ageing petrol engined car for a new efficient diesel car with low CO2 emissions. Now I find I am killing off my fellow citizens with NO and particulates. Ho hum!

TPBM rides a bike.

I used to - even in the first few years of MS I had a life saving little fold-up bike in the boot of my car which was pressed into use as my "legs". Sadly that is now all behind me.

TPBM learned to ride a bike at age _____, and will tell us all about it.

Even as a kid I was adamant about being able to 'go. I don't remember when but I was pretty young. Less than 5 and probably in my 3s. We were living in Georgia in the country, and Dad took me out with a thousand warnings from Mom. I wasn't able to ride until the third day and had training wheels for months that I absolutely hated. My first 'real' bike had a car's steering wheel instead of a handle bar. I loved riding my bike.

TPBM has another fond memory.

Riding a bike was so much more satisfying with the addition of playing cards and clothes pins. I loved the sound.

TPBM has another fond memory too.

I remember getting my first big girl bike. I lived in the mountains so everything was uphill and downhill with a little bit of flat here and there. My new bike was heavy. I loved going downhill and hated pushing it uphill. That first day was wonderful. My dad was a champ and helped me master it. (And I still have a scar on my knee from zooming downhill and veering into the ditch instead of staying on the road that headed into the highway. I know I'm not the only one who is lucky to have survived childhood escapades.)

The person below me survived a stupid stunt.

I once climbed the chain link fence between my house and the next-door neighbor's at the urging of the kid next door. It went well enough until the cuff of my shorts leg got hooked at the top of the chain link. I hung upside down for a bit, but the fabric finally tore loose. Fortunately I landed on the tiny strip of grass next to the fence rather than on the concrete sidewalk. Kinda put me off of climbing fences.

TPBM survived ______________.

______ a bad acid trip (LSD) at a rock concert; by the time the headline act (Pink Floyd) came on, I was coming down out of it, and so I've blessed them and their music ever since.

TPBM has a drugs story of their own.

God, are drugs even still around?

TPBM played in a band.

I played in the school orchestra. Does that count? Oh, wait. We had a dance band in the eighth grade. I played the jawbone and was one of the singing trio (alto). I still know the words to Blue Moon.

The person below me remembers Ray Stevens songs.

(I always thought "My Boomerang Won't Come Back" was one of his. I just looked it up. Turns out it was by Charlie Drake.) Edit: I just looked it up. Turns out the song is considered racist.

I love Ray Stevens. The Streak and Mississippi Squirrel Revival are two of my favorites.

TPBM doesn't know who Ray Stevens is.

Of course I do. Who could forget Ahab the Arab (I'm sure it's considered racist too)

TPBM has a favorite singer.

//I forgot that one. I will need to do a you tube trip down memory lane of his music. lol //

I have a group of favorites, mostly crooners- Maria Callas, Dakota Staton, Bettye Swann, Mavis Staples, Frank Sinatra, and Otis Redding.

TPBM thinks that ________ is overrated.

All of the above.

TPBM sings in the bath (or shower).

I actually don't! Or maybe I do, in my head? If I did it would be my favourite Ray Stevens song, which probably no-one here either remembers or has heard of: "Mr Businessman".

TPBM agrees that Bob Marley may be good, but is not God.

Of course not, Bette Midler is God.

//John. Staton, Staples, Redding. Overrated?! My god man, the Florida sun has scrambled your brains! Callas really was That Good.//

TPBM disagrees about Marley and Midler and is, in fact, god. Or a god. Or is just very good at something.

I'm very good at appreciating the true gods - The Beatles, J.S. Bach, and Cat Stevens.

TPBM understands the space-time continuum.

No, but as the Florida sun has scrambled my brain I am lost in it.

TPBM is also in "it"now,

That I am. I work next to the White House and the streets look like something out of a 'The Defense of the City' newsreel. We were under a shelter in place thingy yesterday for a suspicious package which turned out to be, as these things so often do, some bum's bag left to be picked up later.

TPBM see trees of green, red roses too.

For two more days. Then the shit will hit the fan officially.

TPBM still cannot believe the mess the US is getting into.

Not for the life of me!!!

//>307 SomeGuyInVirginia: keep us updated on Washington events//

TPBM will also be in Washington this week.

No way! Pennsylvania is close enough.

TPBM prefers ______ as a method of escape.

Reading, of course!! And listening to Bach when I need to hear from God.

TPBM has another method of escape.

// >311 ulmannc: I've never exactly thought about it that way, but Bach speaks to me at such a satisfying level that perhaps it is from God.//

Facebook. An unpopular answer, I suppose, but it does pass the time for me quite nicely. I will admit I'm on it for business reasons as much as personal. If it was strictly personal, I'd have about 4000 fewer friends and be happy with it.

TPBM escapes from ______________.

DC! I'm working from home the next two days, then out of town for the weekend.

TPBM listens to Radio 4.

Yes, I do. Especially Sunday mornings when I have a gorge on The Archers Omnibus, Desert Island Discs (or The Reunion), a joyful half hour with either Just A Minute or even better, I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue then - if I've any remaining stamina, The Food Programme. If I had enough energy I'd preface all that with Broadcasting House, but alas, I haven't.

TPBM recognises at least one of those Radio 4 programmes, even if they are American...

Yes I do. I have listened to all of them, and even now I get my news each morning from the BBC. //Tid - we became Americans twp passports ago!//

TPBM loves PSB

Sounds like something carved on a tree.

TPBM will respond

Hmmm... Well I love PBS (when I remember to watch TV) but am not sure what PSB is.

TPBM has a favorite acronym.

As they apply so often at work, SNAFU and FUBAR.

TPBM favorite acronym is more uplifting.

KISS

TPBM keeps it simple.

It's complicated.

TPBM learned their craft in drama camp.

>315 Tid: I certainly do and I get a kick out of the imitations of Desert Island Disks with various similar names here in the US. The ones I have heard are normally locally produced shows. Lets not forget the Garden Show on Saturday. I think that has been on BBC4 for at least for 30 years and back when the old Shortwave version of BBC World Service was much more diverse than it is now, it appeared there as well.

TPBM spends too much time bouncing between 3, 4 and World Service!

>322 ulmannc: // You mean Gardeners Question Time? Yes, that's been around for decades! //

>323 Tid: //That's it!! Great on subjects but not titles!//

I was sure I saw this continued with the next person. I know I submitted something. Is the website having trouble?

>325 xorscape: Not that I'm aware of but things were slow for some people earlier in the week.

TPBM knows much more about these kind of things. . .

Only in my bad experiences of them. Don't ask me to be technical.

TPBM will perform the impossibility of being technical (on this matter) in an interesting and comprehensible way.

Stuff was wack!

TPBM is back on track.

I am indeed. My internet connection was spotty earlier, but it's working now.

TPBM tracks _____________.

Dirt, leaves, pebbles into the house. I hate cleaning!

The person below me also hates cleaning floors.

I don't see how my cats aren't bald, considering how much fur is floating around the house.

TPBM hires a house cleaner.

No, and I kick myself every time I pull the vacuum out.

TPBM hires a driver.

I would hire a cleaner long before I would hire a driver. I don't mind vacuuming and dishes but I HATE dusting.

TPBM uses catering services.

Everything I eat is catered or out of a box. I've got, like, 67 restaurants on speed dial.

TPBM exceeds.

yes, but I only got a warning this time instead of a ticket.

TPBM is paying the price.

I guess I will be. Grad photos seem to cost a lot more than regular school pictures, for no apparent reason. And they're taken over five months before the students actually graduate. And he really should have gone for a haircut.

TPBM has a nifty haircut!

At my age? I wish! I think we should grow old gracefully and...

...TPBM agrees

Yes we should grow old gracefully, but for some reason the aging process doesn't seem to agree. I guess rather than being graceful I'll just be humble.

TPBM is no longer vain.

I would have agreed with that until I saw a pic of myself in a family pic taken on Sunday after I'd had 3 glasses of champagne and my red round face was like a shining beacon. Yeesh.

TPBM is truly no longer vain.

No, I'm vain. Maybe not as much as I once was, but whenever I'm going somewhere where picture-taking is likely to happen I do obsess about it a bit.

TPBM has discarded vanity.

Yes, for various reasons.

The person below me has an attractive characteristic.

Yes, I am oriented towards the North and for some reason iron filings find this irresistible.

TPBM will answer xorscape's question more seriously

My greatest, most attractive, characteristic is, indubitably, my humility. No one is more humble than I.

TPBM is deferentially blessed.

//>343 SomeGuyInVirginia: Er ... the Bad Joke of the Day is Thread 183. Or was that a POTUS quote?//

Certainly am sir ... after you.

TPBM is pushy.

No, it's just my way is important, you should listen to it, and then we can do it.

TPBM pulls.

Not for ages, and even in my prime I wasn't too successful.

TPBM is in their prime.

I'm not even in my sell-by date.

>344 John_Vaughan: I am too humble to aught but demure.//

TPBM ought not but does anyway.

I do, but don't tell anyone. Let's just keep it amongst ourselves.

TPBM ought, but doesn't.

Does she? Or doesn't she? Only her ___________knows for sure.

TPBM can fill in the blank.

Aromatherapist.

TPBM goes it alone.

//>350 SomeGuyInVirginia: No, no, no. It's hairdresser, hairdresser. I'm very disappointed in you...no, I guess that's exactly the kind of reply I should have expected. Carry on then.//

Yes. Totally alone.

Even TPBM isn't here.

:waves hand slowly: I'm not the TPBM you're looking for.

TPBM is conspicuously absent.

Some have suggested that.

Don't expect me around again for several months. Outta here.

TPBM has regrets.

I've had a few, but too few to mention.

TPBM will elaborate.

No, don't like to be reminded.

The person below me would go back and change things.

Ah, but change what and to what; there's the rub. There are some wrong decisions I have made that I could certainly avoid but what of the unintended, and unpredictable, consequences? It all makes my head hurt!

While we are all philosophical, TPBM will explain what is so great about the prospect of eternal life, particularly in respect of all the awful people one would inevitably have to meet.

The Vikings have it right- fight all day, drink all night.

TPBM subscribes.

They sound like my kind of people - where do I get the application forms?

Is this the Hygge that I have been hearing so much about?

TPBM will confirm.

"Hygge (pronounced hue-gah) is a Danish word that is a feeling or mood that comes taking genuine pleasure in making ordinary, every day moments more meaningful, beautiful or special. Whether it’s making coffee a verb by creating a ritual of making it then lingering over a cup to a cosy evening in with friends to the simple act of lighting a candle with every meal. Hygge is being aware of a good moment whether it’s simple or special." http://hyggehouse.com/hygge

Anything less Viking-like I couldn't imagine!

TPBM will make a choice between the two.

Nay, but combine they- I shall slay mine enemies while wearing a kicky fez.

//>351 morningwalker: Bwahaha! (bow) Thanks! //

TPBM turns work-a-day chores into prayer.

I had someone tell me that was her spirituality, that her rituals were not formal but she made everyday actions spiritual. However after a couple of months of being her roommate, I didn't see much evidence of it. She was pretty cranky and demanding about housework, and then she moved out owing me a lot of back rent.

TPBM knows a ritual when they see one.

Oh yes the English "do" them so well.

TPBM just loves cliches.

I love anything that allows me to shorthand commonalities, but the phrases 'low hanging fruit' and 'punching above X's weight' set my teeth on edge.

TPBM eschews jargon.

Newp.

TPBM competently cultivates an expanded array of self-delineating organic architectures (has a rich inner life.)

No, it pretty much matches my outer life.

TPBM was born under the year of the Rooster.

No, but both my daughter and sister were (1993 and 1957 respectively). I'm a Snake.

TPBM doesn't pay attention to zodiac signs.

Only to the extent that I finally admitted that I can't keep the houses straight.

I'm a bunny, myself. I like to think I lean toward a Monty Python type of bunny.

TPBM knows the houses.

The only house I know is 'Of the Rising Sun' and only then because it's one of the great drinking songs.

TPBM has their house in order.

Nope, but my brother moved out yesterday so I can finally work on that.

TPBM doesn't let clutter rule their life.

No, the clutter and I finally have achieved more of a partnership.

TPBM is the boss.

Yep. Of me, myself and I. I'm always telling myself what I SHOULD be doing, but do I ever listen? Noooooo.

TPBM is a fast learner.

Not really, I was asked to quit taking Spanish.

TPBM lives in a vacuum.

""

TPBM is

...drawing a blank.

TPBM can draw.

Hahahahahaha. No.

The person below me is experiencing a ________.

...sign of spring. Don't know about the groundhog, but the skunks came out in force last night. The stink has even permeated the inside of the office building.

TPBM can taste something much more desirable. Is that cinnamon?

Cinnamon is in the banana bread, since I forgot to eat the bananas and they turned brown.

TPBM also lets the produce die in the fridge.

Not as much recently, although the raw cauliflower from Christmas did finally have to go 2 weeks ago.

TPBM loves fresh, just purchased raw cauliflower.

I do. And I've recently tried to grow it, but so far only one tiny head.

(I hope you composted that cauliflower!)

TPBM is part of the compost police force.

I compost soft vegetable food waste and garden trimmings with shredded paper in my garden compost bins, other food waste, animal and vegetable, is collected weekly to go to a commercial food digester and tougher woody garden waste is collected fortnightly to be minced and hot composted.

I guess I do my bit but I do need those garbage trucks.

TPBM does it all on their own homestead

My homestead is a sky ranch, better for defense in a zombie apocalypse.

Aaak! Leapt! I am non-compost mentis. Although if I don't take a brush and detergent to the balcony to clean off the pigeon poop I may qualify. Yeesh.

TPBM is thoroughly grounded.

Probably. I remember several occasions where my parents told me I was grounded for 50 years, so some of those sentences are probably not up yet. Nobody has been enforcing them, though.

TPBM enforces.

Sometimes. And sometimes, I just look the other way (wink, wink).

TPBM would like to rant about __________.

Pick something.

TPBM raves about _________.

Well, I would like to rave about >381 abbottthomas: composting habits. WOW! I thought I did a good job, but you put me to shame.

TPBM has been put to shame too.

>386 morningwalker: ///And I got all tingly over his use of "fortnightly" and "hot composted." Eh?///

// ***(((Blush)))***//

//>387 2wonderY: I know!! What we had there was a little composting porn. Whew. Somebody open a window..//

Not so much put to shame as put to flight ... by the noxious odours suddenly round the place (waves hand frantically in front of nose).

TPBM hates the smell of ..........

.....skunk. We live in a rural area and there are frequently smushed skunks on the road. And one time beneath our back deck became the bridal suite for skunk sex. The smell made it into the house.

TPBM hates the smell of something else.

//>381 abbottthomas: You had me at 'soft vegetable food waste. '//

Perfume. Eyes itch, nose stuffs up, brain fogs.

TPBM has an allergy.

A few. I certainly have allergy symptoms, but every time I've gone to an allergist, they give me a different list. However, there is at least one now seldom-used pharmaceutical and one melon that will reliably give me hives.

TPBM gives rather than gets.

Yes. Except for colds. I couldn't really give one, unless I already got one.

TPBM is doing the TGIF dance.

oh yes! Mon-Thurs of this week were dedicated to our laboratory's biannual EPA certification audit. What a relief that it is over.

TPBM has plans for the weekend.

Yes, sleeping. I've been trying to shake a cold all week.

TPBM is Super Bowling it.

No I totter too much to Bowl any longer and anyway, with my back, I would not be able to pick up the woods.

TPBM also "shakes" a cold.

LEAPT!

//Nope. I'm not a football fan, and neither NYC team is playing, so I have no team I'd root for. Besides, I'll be asleep for most of the game as I have to work Sunday night. The only real "interest" I'll have in it is to check out the commercials that'll be getting talked about when I come home Monday morning.//

It depends on how fast it comes on. If I catch it before it really sets in I can usually keep it from getting worse.

TPBM has been participating in "trash talking" the teams in the SB with friends/coworkers

Sometimes I watch the SB, but honestly, I don't know who's playing this year. I'd have to look it up before I could trash talk.

TPBM is talkin' it up.

No. As a Brit, she doesn't even have the faintest idea what you are all talking about, and would rather admire the super bowl of flowers on her windowsill.

TPBM will talk "it" (whatever it is) up instead.

oh yeah! Monday Morning Quarterbacking is the best when your team is the champ! Go Pats!

TPBM is more interested in the commercials.

//>401 Tid: they are talking about what they call football here. Really its a form of fully-armored rugby league with radio//

>403 John_Vaughan: //I guessed - hence the reference to my "super bowl of flowers"! LOL @ "fully-armored rugby league with radio", except you probably mean rugby union? Oh hell, there ain't a lot of difference!//

Since my Carolina Panthers aren't playing, and my husband's Dallas Cowboys aren't playing, we're both in team hell. I'm going to book club but will be back by fourth quarter, and husband will watch alone until I get back. I'll end up setting Lady Gaga's halftime on youtube, I suppose.

TPBM has already seen one or more of the Superbowl commercials.

I use a Mac. I vividly remember the original advert for the original Macintosh, aired during the 1984 Superbowl. Or was it the World Series? Oh I get so confused which is which! (Akin to Americans confusing the FA Cup with the T20 Super Bash I suppose...)

TPBM could(n't) care less.

At one level, no, I couldn't. At another level I find some value in participating in mass cultural events, if nothing else so I know what people are talking about.

TPBM has another reason.

Nope, I'm one who couldn't care less. I don't watch the game, I don't care about the commercials, or wardrobe malfunctions or who wins or loses. Besides if I wanted to, I could always watch next year's game and expect to see similar goings on.

TPBM already did their taxes.

Nearly done. Waiting for piddling interest statements.

TPBM has a more robust interest.

Nope, but I've got all the paperwork in one place, so it's just a matter of time.

TPBM outsources.

My daughter and mother do to me!

TPBM is also waiting for that last document that was supposed to have been mailed 31 Jan!

yep, one more 1099 and I can claim my $50 refund.

TPBM breaks the bank.

Not with the $2 bets I'm comfortable with.

TPBM laughs all the way to the bank.

My bank account is pretty laughable.

TPBM has a joke that will make us laugh.

A priest, a farmer and a politician were travelling together and arrived one night at a smallholder's place. They knocked and asked the smallholder if he had room for them. He scratched his head and said "Yeah, but only two beds. One of you will have to share the barn with my rooster and my cow."

The farmer sighed and said "It's my day job, I'll take the barn".

An hour later there was a banging on the smallholder's door. He opened it to find the farmer standing there. "Your cow is pregnant. Will not shut up. I can't stand it any longer."

So the priest sighed and said "If it was good enough for Our Lord, it's good enough for me, I'll take the barn".

An hour later there was a banging on the smallholder's door. He opened it to find the priest standing there. "Your rooster thinks it's dawn. Will not shut up. I can't stand it any longer."

So the politician yawned and said "Oh very well. Everyone's a voter. I'll take the barn".

An hour later there was a banging on the smallholder's door. He opened it to find his cow and rooster standing there.

TPBM has a better joke.

I got nothin'.

TPBM knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men.

I do not. The Shadow just won't tell.

TPBM knows who tells no tales.

There's just no telling!

We have been lingering too long in thread #95, maybe because nobody can think of a handle for #96.

TPBM has a really subtle idea for it.

Hmm, let's see what Wiki has on 96:
Curium, an element named after the Curies
Messier 96, a spiral galaxy in the Leo constellation
And quite a few 96th streets and highways.

TPBM can do something clever with that.

Not feeling that clever today. I'll leave it to the next guy/gal.

TPBM is the next guy/gal.

Sigh. I guess I am. But don't expect stunning creativity. Everything I looked at was either satanic or dyslectically obscene.

Thank you @ArmyAngel1986