Paul Tonks

The title and cover leads the reader to believe the story is about a bat but it is actually about a cat. There is no author’s name on the cover and the title has a capitalization mistake.

The sentences in Biddy Bat and the White Collar are run on and repetitive. This is the first page. “When Louise leave school at the end of the day to go home, she always looks forward to seeing Maverick, the black cat who is always there to meet her, and he is a great friend to all the children in the school.” This published picture book reads like a student’s rough draft.

The first page is in present verb tense. The second page is past tense. The third page goes back to present tense which remains until the last page, which switches back to past tense. The author does not know how to use possessive apostrophes. When dialogue finally appears in the story, there are no quotation marks or other indications of proper mechanics. “Biddy Bat cries out Maverick!, and Maverick calls back can you help me? Biddy Bat says yes, and then flies up to the top of the tree, and picks up the white-collar and takes it to Louise, who she knows is waiting at home for news of Maverick.”

The story is about Maverick the cat who somehow has lost his white-collar in a tree and trapped himself in a hole below the tree. The bat finds the collar and the rabbits dig the cat out. The title does not suit the story at all.

The illustrations aren’t too bad, although the bat is rather creepy. Unfortunately the story was far, far, far from ready for publication.… (altro)