Phillip McSween

I received a copy of this book from the author for an honest review.

I enjoyed the premise of the novel. I loved the protagonists, Bartok and Klarvid. These characters and their relationship's ups and downs (they are brothers) shine vividly and draws a reader into the story. That said, this novel needs work and would benefit from having a developmental editor.

One of the major issues I have with this novel is the world creation and presentation. I quickly learn that those with 'Face Card rank' are above those with 'Number rank', but little is answered about this system and how it came about. We learn that Bartok's and Klarvid's father is of 'Face rank'. How did that happen? The boy's lineage was also confusing. First I read they are orphans, then I read they have a father, and from what I read, he is their biological father. Further on though, I am led to question that assumption...

The story and other characters paint pictures of an alien world with alien lifeforms quite well, but it stops at just the visual, leaving this reader unsatisfied. The author tried to extend painting this world into the text and speech of the characters, but I found it more jarring than helpful.

With some editing, and perhaps breaking this into two novels, once letting a developmental and copy editor have a go at it, this would make a great middle-grade (rather than young adult) novel.… (altro)