Devorah Heitner

A considered and well-researched examination of what it's like to parent and to grow up in a digital culture. Heitner's chapters cover location tracking, use of social media, "sharenting," classroom apps, setting boundaries, sexting, how to recover when things go wrong online, the effect of social media on college admissions, and other ways parents can help "emerging adults" become responsible for their online and offline lives. Awareness and consent are key throughout, and keeping conversations open.

Quotes

But how can [our kids] figure out who they really are when they have zero privacy and constant judgment? (2)

...research shows that certain developmental windows make kids more or less vulnerable to emotional harm from using social media. [Girls most vulnerable from 11-13, boys from 14-15] (45)

While kids born in the digital age seemingly have more freedom to explore their identity - a plethora of ways to express themselves - they also have less freedom to get away from the identities they have created and "start over." (71)

Teach your kids not to get caught up in the trap of seeing their lives from the outside this way. (74)

...I've come to believe in erring on the side of privacy. (84)

We need to step back and see how they deal with a situation before we step in to help them solve it. (134)

Young [LGBTQ+] people...are coming IN to the community as much as they are coming OUT to the world. (146)

Empower kids to make thoughtful decisions about how they express themselves...."Would I wear it on a t-shirt?" (161)

Teach your kid the importance of treating everyone respectfully and sticking up for one another's humanity....It's critical that we teach kids not to weaponize misogyny or homophobia against others. (183)

It would behoove all who care about kids, especially teenagers, to fight for laws that protect them from exploitation, rather than punish, stigmatize, and humiliate them for sharing intimate photos consensually. (187)

We never want our kids to be so afraid of getting in trouble or of being humiliated that they keep secrets - that make them even more vulnerable to exploitation. (196)

Kids, especially teenagers, act impulsively all the time. The teenage brain is different. Emotions are felt more intensely, rewards are amplified, and risks can seem less present. Both risk and novelty are more compelling during the teen years. (202)

We hope our emerging adults will see themselves from the inside out - by being true to themselves and their own values. (233)

[Richard Weissbourd's 4 ways to think about character: performance character, intellectual character, ethical character, civic character] (243)

It's important to onboard our emerging adults into the administration of adulting [e.g. handing own medical records, government documents, bank accounts] (257)

Ultimately, as parents, we want a world where our young people are really seen and understood, not just watched and surveilled. (273)… (altro)