Margalis Fjelstad

I've been reading books on codependency. Tons recommend twelve-step groups and give the same advice and definitions, often quoting each other at length. This book did none of that, although there were some 'blink and you miss it' references to twelve-step philosophy. This book was laser-targeted to my situation, and I nodded at nearly every sentence at first. Some of this, I knew. Other information and portrayals were chilling. While I didn't agree with everything in this book, it's a fantastic resource if you're looking for something more than Codependency 101. I got a lot out of it and am glad I read it. I have a feeling I'll be rereading it at some point.… (altro)

Unfortunately I'm not really a Caretaker. I have a friendship with someone who may be borderline, and in that relationship I do "take care" of her, but aside from that I don't have many Caretaker characteristics, and this book is all about the Caretaker. So, I lost interest half-way through. I am currently taking care of my own mental illness (depression), so I have de facto stopped taking care of her because I literally can't. I don't necessarily need a powerful talk about why I should stop, and how to stop. I've just... stopped. It's nice to get a little bit of understanding on the caretaking relationship though. "You'll be surprised how easy it is, once you stop needing their approval" and "You're not responsible for their emotions, even when they try to give you that responsibility" are some takeaways that have been useful to me.… (altro)