Once you have reached and are suddenly recognizing the problems of aging---through your relatives or yourself--this book jumps right out as an excellent book to read, no matter how deep you are in the discussions and/or carrying out of the what-to-do about aging---where, why, how and when. Span also has a wonderful blog in the New York Times with the same general theme. ( )

Several years ago my grandmother emerged from cancer surgery unable to continue living alone, a situation completely unanticipated by anyone in our family. It wasn't at all clear what the options were for her care; whether she could continue to live in her home of 50 years and if not, how to go about finding an appropriate place for her, and no one was very sure how to locate this sort of information. This book was what we'd needed, and will definitely be useful to other families as they assess and discuss care options, hopefully before these are actually needed.

The advantages and disadvantages of the various types of care are nicely detailed, and the subtleties of conflicts and control struggles among the older person, family and caregivers are not ignored - the author acknowledges throughout the difficulty of these decisions and the fact that trial-and-error and flexibility are inherent to the process.

The resource guide, especially the websites, may not be useful several years down the road, but it gives the reader a good idea of the types of organizations and sources available. The book is even more useful as a "support group in print," and as reassurance that no one is alone in making these difficult decisions; the experiences of others can be comforting and helpful.

Washington Post contributor Paula Span realized she would soon become a caregiver to her aging father. Thus, she began looking at options and has compiled stories of families in similar situations. She provides frank information about each option including moving parents into your house, assisted living, nursing homes, and hospice. Through personal stories she explains the pros and cons of each otpion. Each chapter concludes with quesitons to consider.

She also discusses Medicare and Medicaid and what each one covers. Book and websites for further information are also included. The book is logically organized from early aging to end of life. Readers will come away well-informed and with a clearer pictures of the options available to their parents. This book is recommended for those currently forcing these issues or who will be soon. ( )

I found Span's book When the Time Comes incredibly useful in some respects and (predictably) not so helpful in others. I enjoyed all of the stories about the trials, tribulations and triumphs of caring for elderly parents. It put aging into perspective. Not all parents will age the same way, physically or mentally. Not all parents will welcome the solutions their children have to offer. Not all solutions will work for all types of aging. The variables are endless but Span does a wonderful job trying to tell a different story for each scenario. It was wonderful to have examples to remind the reader, "you are not alone whatever your situation might be." I found myself comparing the stories on the page with situations I know in real life and nodding in agreement all the while. On the negative side, the title of this book is misleading. It implies this is a book about aging, and this is not a book for someone who has parents years, possibly decades, away from needing elderly care. By the time my mother deems it necessary to have outside help some of the resources Span lists in her book might not be available to me. Websites disappear, organizations change. While this is definitely a book to prepare children for the aging of their parents, it is not recommended for planning too far in advance. However, should my mother have a stroke or serious accident I could pick up When the Time Comes and start using it immediately. ( )

Your parents are aging, and you're beginning to think about what the future may hold as the roles are reversed and you begin to take care of them. This book is a first class guide to everything you need to know, filled with the experiences (good and bad) of real families and chock full of solidly researched information. I found that, first, the book made me realize that our generation will be one of the strongest thanks to the challenge we face and, second, that none of this process is easy. But it can be made less difficult if you have the information provided in this book, and if you use its inspiration to begin honest dialogs with your parents. From having them live with you to providing them with home help care; from nursing homes and assisted living facilities to hospices--all of the possible scenarios are covered. You'll meet families and learn the challenges and triumphs they have experienced, as the caregiver adults and their parents make the necessary decisions in difficult situations. ( )