Collection of Townsend's columns originally published in Sainsbury's Magazine. Most are amusing, but on the whole, this is better dipped into over a period of time than read in long stretches. ( )

Public Confessions of a Middle-aged Woman by Sue Townsend (2003)

Sue Townsend is the funniest author I know and I enjoy being made/allowed to laugh aloud occasionally, so I’m now steadily making my way through all her books.

This book is a collection of Sue’s articles from her monthly column for Sainsbury’s Magazine. At first, I was a bit disappointed by these articles since they seemed a bit short and lacking in substance. But soon I was totally addicted as with her other books.

As a child, I read in one of my father’s Somerset Maugham books that the easiest way to be funny was to tell the truth. And this is what Sue does – she tells the truth about the various ups and downs of her life, including her serious health problems.

Sue is able to write about anything, as is indicated in the last lines of her articles when she needs to create a specific number of extra words to give the article the exact length required by her editor.

The first article in the collection that riveted me was “Janet and John”, where she satirizes the idealized and simplistic family life depicted in these, our first reading books.

“They got on remarkably well, unlike most brothers and sisters I know, --- They spent a lot of time shouting, ‘Look, Spot, look! Look at the ball! Fetch the ball!’”

When Daddy came home from work, he sat in his armchair and read the newspaper. Mummy smiled serenely as she prepared tea. She then came to the kitchen door and shouted, ‘Come here, Janet! Come here, John!’

Sue hints at an “alternative” Janet and John book she has come across, called “Janet and John go into care”.

“Daddy is getting ready for work. ‘Where are my gloves, Mummy?’ he asks. ‘Look, Daddy, look, there are your gloves’, snaps Mummy, ‘though why you would want to wear gloves in August defeats me!’

Spot runs in and knocks Daddy’s briefcase over. A copy of Health and Efficiency slithers out and falls open at a picture of nudists playing tennis. John runs in, ‘Look, Janet, look!’ Daddy hits John on the head with his pipe, kicks Spot and leaves for work. Mummy dries her tears and walks to the village shop. She is still upset by the row with Daddy, and slips a tin of corned beef into her wicker basket.

Mummy is arrested for shoplifting ---. John looks up and sees Mummy in the back of a police car.”

And so on.

Another column discusses the advantages of being king (were Charles to become king, for instance).

“having twenty-four hour room service (every day) --- They don’t lie awake at night worrying about class, agonizing, ‘Am I upper-lower-middle?’ or ‘Am I lower-working scum?’ Kings can confidently assert, ‘I am upper, upper, upper’ and know that no British person will contradict them.”

To sum up, this is a brilliant, relaxing read. It is addictive and unputdownable, one of Sue’s best.

I have a great admiration for Sue Townsend who gifted us with all those hilarious books in the midst of her own grave health problems and growing blindness. She gives us an accurate representation of British life in these last decades as well as making us split our sides laughing. ( )

Sue Townsend describes the book as representing " a sort of sanitized autobiography" , which I suppose it is. Sue was commissioned by a magazine to write about "800 wise and witty words each month" and essentially that comprises this collection of short essays. Overall it was an enjoyable read, a nice break from the " February Gloomies" that sometimes descend upon me after too many days of rain/overcast here in Vancouver.

Sue writes on a variety of topics, her humourous take on purchasing her first Aga " ... it was love at first sight. The warmth, the classic lines,the strength, the fact that Agas are always hot and ready for action appealed to me. The Aga has many of the qualities that one would like , but so rarely gets, from a lover." She also writes a fair bit about her young adult children in both fun and serious ways. Other topics include travel, writing itself, her increasing loss of sight due to diabetes and many other topics.

Overall, it was a good read, but not fantastic. After some 334 pages of short essays I am looking forward to book with a cohesive plot. 3. 7 stars. ( )

Interesting and amusing on topical subjects ( )