A New York Public Library Best Book of 2021

The companion to Rex Ogle’s award-winning Free Lunch is a searing account of adolescence in a household torn by domestic violence.

Punching Bag is the compelling true story of a high school career defined by poverty and punctuated by outbreaks of domestic abuse. Rex Ogle, who brilliantly mapped his experience of hunger in Free Lunch, here describes his struggle to survive; reflects on his complex, often paradoxical relationship with his passionate, fierce mother; and charts the trajectory of his stepdad’s anger. Hovering over Rex’s story is the talismanic presence of his unborn baby sister.

Through it all, Rex threads moments of grace and humor that act as beacons of light in the darkness. Compulsively readable, beautifully crafted, and authentically told, Punching Bag is a remarkable memoir about one teenager’s cycle of violence, blame, and attempts to forgive his parents―and himself.

-Amazon Description

This was one of the most raw memoirs I have read. There are some people who do not deserve to be parents, no matter how many times they may try to apologize or “change their ways”. How Mr. Ogle was able to move on from this life fraught with anger and fighting and abuse shows how strong a person he is. This will stay with me for a long time and will take a long time to process. I may come back and revise my review after processing.

TW: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, domestic violence, ( )

If you thought the first book "Free Lunch" by Rex Ogle was hard to read, wait until you read this. We get a glimpse into Rex's life in his first book.We see the poverty, shame, bullying he goes through in middle school. We see the issues he has with his father and mother. Nothing prepares you for the second book. In this book we see what it was like to live in a home filled with violence. What it is like to be the older sibling who practically raises the younger one. What it is like to protect the younger one from the violence that is so often taken out on the author. We see a side of mental illness that so many kids today deal with. Why is it that it is taboo to talk about these things?

After reading Rex Ogle's first book I bought the second one to put on my shelves. I live in a district where this year a house bill is making it difficult to keep books on our shelves. I fear each day some kid will read this book, a parent will pick it up, complain to the school board and it will be banned. Why do I fear this? This book is open, honest and raw. Ogle doesn't sugar coat his experiences to make them less traumatizing. He wrote this in such an honest way you feel his pain. That he was able to overcome so much is amazing in itself. I know there are kids out there who live through abuse daily. This book with its darkness also shows a side of hope. It shows the reader that no matter where they are in life there is always hope. For me it is important to get this into the hands of children everywhere. It is important that there is a resource for those we may never know are hurting. This is a must read. ( )

This is a hard story to read, and clearly a painful story to tell, but Rex Ogle does a brilliant job at it. Harsh, painful, horrifying memories, but also hope, strength, and the ability to move through struggle. There are so many complexities to Rex's relationships with his parental figures, and that shines through the almost constant abuse. I think the thing I found most most moving was the conversation that talked about how pain creates a bond -- even if you don't want that connection, even if you reject it.

Advanced Reader's copy provided by the publisher. ( )

The follow-up to the award-winning "Free Lunch." Rex is now a teenager (15 if I recall correctly). The physical and emotional abuse continues as do the violent fights between his mother and Sam. Older now, Rex is more willing to fight back with his words and express plans for escaping Sam. Tethering Rex to some kind of sanity throughout is the thought of the baby sister who never got born because of Sam and Luciana's violence--Rex imagines her voice of reason and compassion when he's feeling at his worst. This doesn't end on the same hopeful note that Free Lunch did; it's darker and more open-ended. You just think Rex will never escape this hell. An author's note and Q&A reveal his continued struggle with trauma but that he's in a much better place as an adult. ( )