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The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage (2002)

di Cathi Hanauer (A cura di)

Altri autori: Laurie Abraham (Collaboratore), Natalie Angier (Collaboratore), Jill Bialosky (Collaboratore), Veronica Chambers (Collaboratore), Kate Christensen (Collaboratore)21 altro, Chitra Divakaruni (Collaboratore), Hope Edelman (Collaboratore), Ellen Gilchrist (Collaboratore), Vivian Gornick (Collaboratore), Kerry Herlihy (Collaboratore), Pam Houston (Collaboratore), Karen Karbo (Collaboratore), Cynthia Kling (Collaboratore), Natalie Kusz (Collaboratore), E. S. Maduro (Collaboratore), Jen Marshall (Collaboratore), Hazel McClay (Collaboratore), Daphne Merkin (Collaboratore), Sarah Miller (Collaboratore), Catherine Newman (Collaboratore), Hannah Pine (Collaboratore), Elissa Schappell (Collaboratore), Helen Schulman (Collaboratore), Susan Squire (Collaboratore), Kristin van Ogtrop (Collaboratore), Nancy Wartik (Collaboratore)

UtentiRecensioniPopolaritàMedia votiCitazioni
6941933,455 (3.48)9
Literary Criticism. Sociology. Women's Studies. Nonfiction. HTML:

Virginia Woolf introduced us to the "Angel in the House", now prepare to meet... The Bitch In the House.

This e-book includes an exclusive excerpt from The Bitch is Back: Older, Wiser, and Getting Happier, a second collection of essays from nine of the contributors featured in The Bitch in the House and from sixteen captivating new voices.

Women today have more choices than at any time in history, yet many smart, ambitious, contemporary women are finding themselves angry, dissatisfied, stressed out. Why are they dissatisfied? And what do they really want? These questions form the premise of this passionate, provocative, funny, searingly honest collection of original essays in which twenty-six women writers—ranging in age from twenty-four to sixty-five, single and childless or married with children or four times divorced—invite readers into their lives, minds, and bedrooms to talk about the choices they've made, what's working, and what's not.

With wit and humor, in prose as poetic and powerful as it is blunt and dead-on, these intriguing women offer details of their lives that they've never publicly revealed before, candidly sounding off on:

• The difficult decisions and compromises of living with lovers, marrying, staying single and having children

• The perpetual tug of war between love and work, family and career

• The struggle to simultaneously care for ailing parents and a young family

• The myth of co-parenting

• Dealing with helpless mates and needy toddlers

• The constrictions of traditional women's roles as well as the cliches of feminism

• Anger at laid-back live-in lovers content to live off a hardworking woman's checkbook

• Anger at being criticized for one's weight

• Anger directed at their mothers, right and wrong

• And—well—more anger...

"This book was born out of anger," begins Cathi Hanauer, but the end result is an intimate sharing of experience that will move, amuse, and enlighten. The Bitch in the House is a perfect companion for your students as they plot a course through the many voices of modern feminism. This is the sound of the collective voice of successful women today-in all their anger, grace, and glory.

From The Bitch In the House:

"I believed myself to be a feminist, and I vowed never to fall into the same trap of domestic boredom and servitude that I saw my mother as being fully entrenched in; never to settle for a life that was, as I saw it, lacking independence, authority, and respect." —E.S. Maduro, page 5

"Here are a few things people have said about me at the office: 'You're unflappable.' 'Are you ever in a bad mood?' Here are things people—okay, the members of my family—have said about me at home: ''Mommy is always grumpy.' 'Why are you so tense?' 'You're too mean to live in this house and I want you to go back to work for the rest of your life!'" —Kristin van Ogtrop, page 161

"I didn't want to be a bad mother I wanted to be my mother-safe, protective, rational, calm-without giving up all my anger, because my anger fueled me." — Elissa Schappell, page 195

.
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I read this about six years ago and liked it, but I'd be interested to read it again...see how my perspective has changed. ( )
  LibroLindsay | Jun 18, 2021 |
I read this about ten years ago in book club. I remember it, but I'm surprised I didn't write a review. I remember urging my husband to read it because "this is how women think" and he came back with Nicholas Baker's Box of Matches, saying "this is how men think."
Can't vouch for my opinion after ten years. ( )
  MaryHeleneMele | May 6, 2019 |
Not impressed. Was actually bored through mist of the stories. ( )
  LVStrongPuff | Nov 29, 2018 |
I QUIT!!!!

I've ordered this in print.....

The first narrator was so Awful! Honestly her voice was flat and devoid of all feeling. As if I was listening to a high pitched zombie

In fact her voice was so blah, that I completely tuned out to the first several minutes of her narration....I didn't hear a word she said! That's when I knew I was finished!

If "listening" to a book is a skill...it's obviously one I do not have.

So, as for the book itself......I'll go for ★ ★ ★
Reading this was so very much better than listening to it.....I was able to finish it.

I understand completely the situations these women have put themselves in.....most of them take the blame for choosing to be/staying in bad relationships. They describe their honest feelings & again take responsibility for allowing family to take advantage of them.....

There was a woman who had a control issue: she had to do it ALL herself.....and her husband really wanted to help her, but she felt it was easier to do it herself rather than teach him how. So of course, when he stopped offering his help she began to feel resentful.

Another woman loved her b.f because he was the "sensitive & creative" artistic type...so he'd work on his art, get stoned & play video games while she went out to work and when she finally asked for his help, he'd complain that she was mean & picking on him...is this a "no brainer" or what?

Then there was the couple who has an "open marriage" and both continue with a series of "affairs".....she of course has conflicting emotions....but she too has affairs of her own.

One woman is in a monogamous long-term relationship with the same man....they're great friends & have a child together. Neither feel the need or desire to marry. Their sexual relationship isn't the hottest", but that's not why she's still with him.....she simply loves him & is happy with what they have.

Another (an author that I read often) learned that she doesn't have to be beholden to her family from India. It took her quite a bit of their visiting (of course at home we do it this way) and feeling that she had to go back to the old ways of India hospitality. She learned that she can drop them off for the day, let them go shopping, out for a tour and still do her work while they are out...as for dinner, she orders take-away or takes them out to eat.

Although, there was one woman I really wanted to slap silly.....she doesn't like being "mean mommy" and disciplining her kids when they misbehave & make her angry, because she's afraid of her anger..... Come on, the 3-4 yr old refused to go to sleep, was jumping on the bed w/ his sister. When "mommy" went in the room telling them to stop & go to bed, the kid threw his book at her head & hit her in her eye and laughed at her....and she screamed @ the kid and then he & his sister cried and she forgave him. That mother is an IDIOT...that child needed to be disciplined, Period. ( )
  Auntie-Nanuuq | Jan 18, 2016 |
I have mixed feelings about this book. I think it explores quite well the often-repressed feelings of anger that many women have. However, I wish that there had been a bit more diversity in the voices presented. Although I don't know this for a fact, it certainly seems like the authors of the essays are all upper/middle-class, heterosexual, and white (I'm assuming the last race, but I don't think it's much of a stretch, given the complete lack of discussion of race or orientation). I was also quite frustrated by the attitudes of many of the authors - more than once I found myself saying "go to a therapist, you daft cow, and deal with your freaking mommy issues." Unsympathetic, I know. On the other hand, I definitely related quite strongly to some of the writers' experiences - like putting pressure on myself to have a clean house and being irritated that my partner doesn't have the same internal pressure. Which is stupid, because I can just ask for help and I get it.

That being said, there were four or five essays that stood out for me and provided really interesting conversation jumping-off points for me and my partner. I don't have the names right now, but they dealt with couples in a relationship living apart, why a couple would choose not to marry, non-monogamy (in theory and practice), and choosing to put your "crushes" on your partner, not on someone else.

The section of the book called "Mommy Maddest" made me turn to my partner and say "let's never have children. Seriously." ( )
  liz.mabry | Sep 11, 2013 |
A hot new collection of essays (all of them interesting and one of them—by Ellen Gilchrist—exquisite).
 
I shall be thankful to you for this valuable info.
 

» Aggiungi altri autori

Nome dell'autoreRuoloTipo di autoreOpera?Stato
Hanauer, CathiA cura diautore primariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Abraham, LaurieCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Angier, NatalieCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Bialosky, JillCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Chambers, VeronicaCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Christensen, KateCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Divakaruni, ChitraCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Edelman, HopeCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Gilchrist, EllenCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Gornick, VivianCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Herlihy, KerryCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Houston, PamCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Karbo, KarenCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Kling, CynthiaCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Kusz, NatalieCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Maduro, E. S.Collaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Marshall, JenCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
McClay, HazelCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Merkin, DaphneCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Miller, SarahCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Newman, CatherineCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Pine, HannahCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Schappell, ElissaCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Schulman, HelenCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Squire, SusanCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
van Ogtrop, KristinCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
Wartik, NancyCollaboratoreautore secondariotutte le edizioniconfermato
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You who come of a younger and happier generation may not have heard of her—you may not know what I mean by The Angel in the House. I will describe her as shortly as I can. She was intensely sympathetic. She was immensely charming. She was utterly unselfish. She excelled in the difficult arts of family life. She sacrficied herself daily. If there was a chicken, she took the leg; if there was a draft she sat in it—in short she was so constituted that she never had a mind or a wish of her own, but preferred to sympathize always with the minds and wishes of others.
—Virginia Wool, "Professions for Women," a paper presented to the Women's Service League
I am greedy. Puritans scold me for running breathlessly over life's table of contents and for wishing and longing for everything.
—Nina Cassian
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Literary Criticism. Sociology. Women's Studies. Nonfiction. HTML:

Virginia Woolf introduced us to the "Angel in the House", now prepare to meet... The Bitch In the House.

This e-book includes an exclusive excerpt from The Bitch is Back: Older, Wiser, and Getting Happier, a second collection of essays from nine of the contributors featured in The Bitch in the House and from sixteen captivating new voices.

Women today have more choices than at any time in history, yet many smart, ambitious, contemporary women are finding themselves angry, dissatisfied, stressed out. Why are they dissatisfied? And what do they really want? These questions form the premise of this passionate, provocative, funny, searingly honest collection of original essays in which twenty-six women writers—ranging in age from twenty-four to sixty-five, single and childless or married with children or four times divorced—invite readers into their lives, minds, and bedrooms to talk about the choices they've made, what's working, and what's not.

With wit and humor, in prose as poetic and powerful as it is blunt and dead-on, these intriguing women offer details of their lives that they've never publicly revealed before, candidly sounding off on:

• The difficult decisions and compromises of living with lovers, marrying, staying single and having children

• The perpetual tug of war between love and work, family and career

• The struggle to simultaneously care for ailing parents and a young family

• The myth of co-parenting

• Dealing with helpless mates and needy toddlers

• The constrictions of traditional women's roles as well as the cliches of feminism

• Anger at laid-back live-in lovers content to live off a hardworking woman's checkbook

• Anger at being criticized for one's weight

• Anger directed at their mothers, right and wrong

• And—well—more anger...

"This book was born out of anger," begins Cathi Hanauer, but the end result is an intimate sharing of experience that will move, amuse, and enlighten. The Bitch in the House is a perfect companion for your students as they plot a course through the many voices of modern feminism. This is the sound of the collective voice of successful women today-in all their anger, grace, and glory.

From The Bitch In the House:

"I believed myself to be a feminist, and I vowed never to fall into the same trap of domestic boredom and servitude that I saw my mother as being fully entrenched in; never to settle for a life that was, as I saw it, lacking independence, authority, and respect." —E.S. Maduro, page 5

"Here are a few things people have said about me at the office: 'You're unflappable.' 'Are you ever in a bad mood?' Here are things people—okay, the members of my family—have said about me at home: ''Mommy is always grumpy.' 'Why are you so tense?' 'You're too mean to live in this house and I want you to go back to work for the rest of your life!'" —Kristin van Ogtrop, page 161

"I didn't want to be a bad mother I wanted to be my mother-safe, protective, rational, calm-without giving up all my anger, because my anger fueled me." — Elissa Schappell, page 195

.

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