Gr 9 Up—When Amir is blackmailed with being outed to his Iranian Muslim family, he hops on a plane to Rome and
falls in with a group of friends who help him discover what it means to be a gay man. With realistic characters, a
lovely setting, and an innovative narrative style (Amir and his family tell the story while being questioned at the
airport), this book exists at the intersections of sexuality and culture, as well as humor and pain.

Recommended: sure
for a story about escape and finding yourself, bravery and cowardice, how situations can escalate, for some questionable choices that happily turn out safe

Thoughts: 
I admit, I once DNFd this after the first chapter or so because it was starting to feel pretty far-fetched and I just wasn't into it. This attempt went much better, though I'd still say it felt a lot like... wow, that escalated quickly. We do get a point by point of how one small choice led to the next until he was at somewhere WAY off track from the start, but it was still requiring me to suspend disbelief a bit.

The format where there are one-sided interviews from the family members worked fine for the most part, although sometimes they were a little tiring when it was too in the weeds on miscellaneous details to set the scene. These were also used to give a moment to other issues like racism, profiling, etc. and I'm glad they weren't glossed over, considering the whole premise of the instigating issue on the plane. Sometimes there were really funny moments using that medium too, like when they ask why it's taking so long for them to be let out and then are told it's because their son is talking a lot. xD

Once Amir gets to Rome, he goes through a mix of the expected and not. He does explore the city and become enamored with it as most travelers do in a new place, but he also sees it in an uncommon way. Through poetry slams and city overlooks instead of the Colosseum or Trevi. This makes the "travel" experience part of the book a bit refreshing, as it was still fun to tour the city through his eyes but having been to Rome it was neat to see things I haven't literally seen, if that makes sense. It was a new perspective that isn't often shared.

I was nervous for Amir when he starts just going around with strangers who are ten years older than him, especially where there were some attraction elements being included, as it felt like it could quickly be predatory at worst and at best very uncomfortable though consensual. That was honestly a source of tension for me through basically the whole book which made it a bit harder to read, and I'm not sure if it was intended to feel that way or if it's because I'm adult and a woman that I was more sensitive to that, but I did want to shout at him to be safe sometimes.

Even beyond the looming threat of assault, this was not very lighthearted, which was a surprise. The topics aren't easy of course, but I figured it would be a "fun month in Rome before coming to love myself" sort of story, and while aspects of that are in here it's also a much more honest look at how that would truly go. It's messy, it's dangerous, there are a lot of mistakes made, and those mistakes have consequences. 

I appreciated most that Rome wasn't portrayed as some magical place where everything is great. Amir's new friends themselves tell him that Rome is a difficult or unpleasant place to live for a lot of reasons, and that they all have their own problems too. Just because Rome is an escape from his own problems doesn't mean those who live there are worry-free as well. That gets glossed over a lot in situations like this and with a more nuanced opinion of it all brought in, the traveler in me was happy. Of course everywhere has their issues, despite whatever other beauty and culture and joy it has as well. That's just the way things are.

Where the realism fell was with Amir's sudden change of heart with his Wikipedia editing. He is so against it at the start that he basically just flees the country to avoid the prospect, but then is going right back to it by his own choice. I understand there was a lot of pressure, and that's fine as an angle, but I don't think at any point he thinks about how he feels bad doing it, or wishes he didn't have to, let alone trying to find an alternative. In fact he starts offering it up for extra perks and I'm like, okay so I guess he doesn't actually have that deep moral stance on it that he seemed to at the start. If he changes that's okay, but it was weird that it went from being SUCH a heathen idea to him to apparently perfectly fine. 

So overall I did enjoy this, although at times it felt a little rambly and I was ready to move on. That's the nature of Amir's narrative voice, though, so it fit even if it was a little tiring sometimes. 😅 This is a shockingly long review and I actually could write more about the inclusion of his Persian heritage, his relationships with his family, and so on, but my goodness I think I've covered the overall feel of the book already. If you're interested, go for it! And donate to Wikipedia while you're at it. :D  ( )

I loved this book to a degree, but would offer it to students with the caveat of remembering that not all realistic fiction is "realistic", and that Amir makes many questionable and unsafe decisions, but there is still a lot to learn and gain from his story! ( )

I found the plot to be too implausible to really enjoy. ( )

Coming of age frightens and bewilders each of us without regard to our gender, sexuality, race, or family situation. Coming of age embedded in one family culture while surrounded by a profoundly different one multiplies the complexity of arriving at adulthood. Layering an alternate sexuality on top of all that exacerbates the entire transitional process.
How It All Blew Up dives deeply into that entire all-too-real circumstance, one faced daily bu many young people.
Amir's family lives the Iranian culture from which it immigrated. Its values and beliefs form his life and life perspective. He realizes, however, that he is special. He does not want what the family wants for him, particularly his family's expectations about his future as a husband and father. He is attracted to other men, instead. In his family culture, such an attraction is a shame-ridden, unacceptable attitude, one that must be suppressed and 'corrected.'
Understanding this about his situation makes Amir particularly vulnerable to fears about being discovered. When a bullying predator in Amir's high school catches Amir kissing another young man with a photograph of their kiss, Amir becomes the victim of the blackmailing, greedy, bully. To Amir, nothing could be a greater threat to him.
Fear incapacitates reasoned thought, replacing it with panic. Amir's panic tells him that escaping his situation is the only way he can deal with it. He runs away at the most unexpected time, during his expected high school graduation ceremony. Amir flees to an unexpected place, Paris.
Once in Paris, he finds that he understands little about his own sexuality and the culture surrounding it. Amir is lucky enough to fall into a compassionate group of men who understand his problem and help him deal with it. Along the way, both Amir and the reader are 'educated' about being gay. The cultural icons, the terminology, the expected behaviors, the acceptance of dating norms, the appropriate and inappropriate sexual behaviors, and a variety of other issues become a curriculum for the neophyte gay young man.
Along with that comes the normal human drama of life, love, conflict, and coping. Lovers fall out, friends abandon or disappoint other friends, transitions of various types are made. In Amir's case, all of this occurs while his family desperately attempts to locate and re-connect with its missing member.
The family, too, must make a journey that will make it face the realities of Amir's sexuality. The family learns that love and acceptance supersede expectations, culture, judgment, and condemnation. For both Amir and his family, it is a challenging curriculum, one that many families in the real world will never fully master.
In reading the novel, I was at first a little put off by the feeling that the book masquerades as fiction while actually being a sort of 'instruction manual on gayness.' When the plot thickened into dealing with the normal complications and conflicts of a gay lifestyle and gay relationships, the 'instruction manual' morphed into being an authentic novel, a beautiful story of awakening, and testament to the love people are capable of when they allow themselves to transcend their cultural and familial prejudices.
( )