I think I would've gotten a lot more out of this if I fit Saujani's definition of a perfectionist—fixed mindset, constantly worried what others think of me, a Type-A Hermione Granger. As more of a Faramir (blessed with an awesome father instead of Denethor), I didn't quite reap the full Brave, Not Perfect experience of empowerment.

Which is not to say I didn't benefit from the read. Having Saujani's concepts and assertions to push my own experiences against allowed me to more closely define how my own drive toward perfection behaves in my life. And reading what motivates her and other Hermione Granger perfectionists to push themselves toward bravery (regret, jealousy, competitiveness) offered me the opportunity to realize that my motivations will have to be something else entirely. Even looking at some of her strategies to cultivate a bravery mindset affirmed that the ways I've worked to enlarge my life since adolescence are solid, beneficial approaches.

But this was definitely more a case of Learn How Different You Are than Learn How You Too Can Change Your Life! I'm an enneagram 4, so you'd think I'd be rolling in that special snowflake-ness like a cat in catnip, but...honestly...I could really use some help with the type of perfectionism I do experience.

It didn't help that a lot of Saujani's statements about the source of perfectionism in women, women's right to claim their truth, and how her readers, too, can achieve greatness through bravery were very black and white and riddled with logical holes and inconsistencies. Instead of focusing on what she was advocating, I kept getting snarled in what wasn't being said. (Or cited in the Notes.)

I mean, sure, maybe we should rethink how we raise our girls, but do we really think raising them like our boys is the solution? Doesn't the way we raise our boys cause problems of its own? And, yes! Claim your truth, ladies! ...But don't think that your truth gives you the right to stop hearing others' truths, too. And it's fantastic that so many women have found that bravery has led them to creating amazing non-profits and opening new chapters of success...but isn't that still focusing on the end goal instead of the process of being brave?

I think Brave, Not Perfect will leave many, many readers with an awakening sense of their own power and a roadmap for fully inhabiting their own lives, but for those of us outside Saujani's template—or those less moved by the pathos of her encouragement—there's a lot less here. I will certainly take the insights I've gained and see whether I can turn them into weapons in the neverending battle against my own perfectionist demons, and there are a few strategies I can put into immediate action (Take On a Physical Challenge; Trust Yourself; Review, Reassess, Realign), but the hunt for advice that speaks to my Faramir-type perfectionist continues.... ( )

Girls are raised to be perfect. Boys are raised to be brave. Be more brave, less perfect. Just because a girl is raised to be perfect, doesn't mean she has to be ..... because perfect is hard? Just because a boy is raised to be brave, doesn't mean brave is easy. Brave is hard for boys (and girls) too.

And I don't need a hero to have the same genitalia as me to be my hero. I kinda joke that Alex P Keaton was one my childhood heroes. Ya know what? Xena Warrior Princess was one too. We can choose heroic qualities from people, not the entire person. For real life heroines, I like the courage of Grace O Malley and Eleanor Roosevelt.

I appreciate her honesty in telling about her Congressional election and she comes across really approachable .... and human?

In my culture, I find myself always chasing some perfect ideal. So I understand where she's coming from. Is it a bad thing to strive for perfection ... to become the best version of yourself ... even if you're crying yourself to sleep each night? To aim for perfection can be brave, and heroic. (Aim for) perfect. Be brave and heroic. ( )

Eh, it's okay. I wanted to like it better, and to like it more consistently.

I mistook this title for a "how to unleash your creativity no matter what anyone else thinks" book, and I was disappointed, but I kept reading until the mid-point, when I accelerated and skimmed it. I began to realize, after a few chapters, that I am not the target audience for this book: as an, I guess, braver-than-I-realized GenXer it never occurred to me to curate my life on Instagram, or to give any f*cks about having the perfect selfies or vacation photos. I had no idea people cared about things like that, and the last time I experienced FOMO I was an adolescent. It may be of some use to adult (women -- it's really geared toward women) people in their 30s who may have been raised to be too risk-averse and social media-centric to embrace life in all its messy temporary-ness. ( )

Many girls, teens, and women have lived their lives striving for perfection. While most people in today's society might not admit, or even internally acknowledge to themselves, it is expected that women should always present themselves as, and try to achieve, perfection. For males, however, society has created an environment that allows for falls and failure. This conscious, or unconscious, lack of equal allowances, training, treatment has lead to a world where many women are too anxious to do anything brave for fear of failure.
Reshma Saujani takes the reader through biases that they have unknowingly witnessed, endured and inflicted. She helps the reader realize the inequalities in their upbringing and environment that has led them to their feelings of guilt and inferiority. Using this, the author works to help the reader recognize the moments of self-sabotage and retrain their thought process. While, of course, not every woman has had the same experiences. This book is for the woman who is a people-pleaser to a fault, the woman who is stuck feeling unfulfilled because they are too frightened to take the leap, the woman that has taken that leap and fallen flat on their face. This book is for them. ( )