I've been sitting on a review for this for so long guys, I'm sorry.

In some ways this book was exactly what I was expecting, and in other ways it completely wasn't. The bits that I expected I loved; the bits that were unexpected were very meh to me. I expected a lesbian coming of age in small town Australia. I expected homophobia and a struggle between being true to yourself and conforming to the expectations of lifelong friends and family. I didn't expect a manic-pixie-dream-girl and the TFIOS twist.

Alex's experiences with her family and friends just... tore my heart into tiny little pieces. Hearing one of her best friends say he thought she should have been culled like a mutated farm animal? Being assaulted by her mother and kicked out of home? There were tears, y'all.

But I didn't particularly like Phoenix. I didn't feel a strong connection between them. (Lust, yes.) I didn't like the pressure Phoenix put on Alex to come out, when Alex knew her community and their backwards attitudes and Phoenix was an outsider with her own independent support network. (And, ultimately, no reason to care about the future because she was hurtling towards death anyway.)

And the whole TFIOS twist felt like it cheapened everything else Alex went through. It felt like the author looked at all the horrible things Alex had thrown at her by her family and friends and decided "Nah, that's not bad enough. Not emotional enough. Gotta throw some DEATH in there to make it a real tragedy." And I don't think that's fair. If you're criticised and threatened and abused and dehumanised by your family: that's enough. That's hard enough. ( )