When Nicandra is eight years old, she witnesses and is party to an escalating series of events that cause her mother to leave home for good. Nicrandra is raised by her maternal Aunt Tossie, who forges an unlikely and completely platonic partnership with Nicandra’s father. While she wants for nothing, Nicandra keenly feels her mother’s abandonment and, as an adult, runs quickly into the arms of the first man who shows any care for her. Andrew turns out to be a poor choice, using and betraying Nicandra in myriad ways, but she is so starved for love she cannot see what’s really happening.

Meanwhile, Aunt Tossie and Dada’s health and fortunes are in decline and the family home proves increasingly difficult and expensive to maintain. With Nicandra largely absent, one of the servants gradually assumes a caregiving role. William suffers from unexplained developmental disabilities which earned him the nickname “Silly Willy” in childhood. He has never forgiven Nicandra for bullying him when they were young, and now uses his position to exercise power over her.

Molly Keane does “declining Irish society” extremely well, showing both a house and a lifestyle in its waning years. Her characters are complex, interesting, and true to life, and the interpersonal dynamics in this story are fascinating. The ending, while somewhat too tidy, still packs an emotional punch that has me contemplating some of the deeper themes of this novel. ( )

In this beautifully written novel, Molly Keane offers fine detail about an Anglo-Irish country house in its decline. Beneath the polished surface Loving and Giving contains a sharp satire of the coming-of-age narrative that could almost be called subversive. Keane also writes under the pseudonym M.J. Farrell.

This book reminded me very much of another Virago book- Sara Grand's The Beth Book. Though published a century later, and set several decades later, there are decided similarities. Both center girls growing up in loveless households, both have lost parents, and both grow up to marry boorish and unfaithful men, their marriages making their lives miserable. But there are distinct differences too, and Keane's Nicandra is no mere copy of Beth Caldwell. Nicandra is neither bright nor feminist. She is a gentle soul, breakable, really. Nicandra's youth is so empty of affection that she fails to function as an adult. Named after her father's favorite horse, Nicandra commands even less attention than her equine namesake. She is a girl, and later a woman, with love to give and no one willing to receive it. Giving love becomes an obsession for Nicandra. It becomes her life's purpose. As Nicandra's marriage appears to be falling apart, so too is her father's home, literally. Her family becomes a living part of the downfall of the Irish gentry.

I was shocked to discover that this book had been written as late as 1988. In tone and language it reads as though it was written in the early-twentieth century, when it takes place. This is a tragic story. Nicandra, though almost monomaniacal in her loving and giving, she is still a complicated enough character to be more than just a type. After reading many books in which the ending disappoints, I am delighted to say that this one lived up to all my expectations. The ending is both suspenseful and unexpected. ( )