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Love's Promises: How Formal and Informal Contracts Shape All Kinds of Families (Queer Ideas/Queer Action)

di Martha M. Ertman

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Blends memoir and legal cases to show how contracts can create family relationships Most people think of love and contracts as strange bedfellows, or even opposites. In Love's Promises, however, law professor Martha Ertman shows that far from cold and calculating, contracts shape and sustain families. Blending memoir and law, Ertman delves into the legal cases, anecdotes, and history of family law to show that love comes in different packages, each shaped by different contracts and mini-contracts she calls "deals." Family law should and often does recognize that variety because legal rules, like relationships, aren't one size fits all. The most common form of family-which Ertman calls "Plan A"-come into being through different kinds of agreements than the more uncommon families that she dubs "Plan B." Recognizing the contractual core of all families shows that Plan B is neither unnatural nor unworthy of legal recognition, just different. After telling her own moving and often irreverent story about becoming part of a Plan B family of two moms and a dad raising a child, Ertman shows that all kinds of people-straight and gay, married and single, related by adoption or by genetics-use contracts to shape their relationships. As couples navigate marriage, reproductive technologies, adoption, and cohabitation, they encounter contracts. Sometimes hidden and other times openly acknowledged, these contracts ensure that the people they think of as "family" are legally recognized as family in the eyes of the law. Family exchanges can be substantial, like vows of fidelity, or small, like "I cook and you clean." But regardless of scope, the agreements shape the emotional, social, and financial terrain of family relationships. Seeing the instrumental role contracts will help readers better understand how contracts and deals work in their own families as well as those around them. Both insightful and paradigm-shifting, Love's Promises lets readers in on the power of contracts and deals to support love in its many forms and to honor the different ways that our nearest and dearest contribute to our daily lives.… (altro)
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Questa recensione è stata scritta per Recensori in anteprima di LibraryThing.
This is a super interesting and accessible book. It's quite different from what I first expected. Not at all the dry legal/theorectical tome that the title might suggest, it's actually quite personal, quite warm and friendly and human, while still benefiting from Ertman's legal expertise. ( )
  heavyleg | Oct 5, 2017 |
Questa recensione è stata scritta per Recensori in anteprima di LibraryThing.
As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I found this lovely, laidback account of an attorney's growing family quite warming. Martha M. Ertman shares the ups and downs for a lesbian who wants pregnancy and a child with her intellectually guided method of using contracts as landmarks along the journey.
A charming read for anyone interested in the legal implications of becoming a parent in the current various ways of doing so. Also relevant for anyone interested in families, parenting, and negotiating relationships.
Thank you, LibraryThing! ( )
  KTgates | Sep 5, 2016 |
Questa recensione è stata scritta per Recensori in anteprima di LibraryThing.
I found this book really interesting on a lot of levels - it's an easy/fun read for the most part, interweaving Martha's story and stories from illustrative court cases. She does a wonderful job of showing that families can take a lot shapes and that law and contracts give us tools to explain and lay out and create the shapes we want. I would recommend this book to anyone who is thinking about long-term coupledom (pair-bonding! or more than pairs?) or wants to raise a child. ( )
  ansate | Jun 15, 2016 |
Questa recensione è stata scritta per Recensori in anteprima di LibraryThing.
"Love's Promises," despite the underwhelming title, is an excellent examination of human relationships and the arbitrary rules that mankind has created to determine who can and who cannot legally love and care for one another. This is a great volume to own, whether you are interested in law and public policy, family relationships and counseling, or just plain old-fashioned common sense. Ertman does an excellent job of breaking down the current trends in the law and then theorizing, based on her personal experience in both her life and her practice, about what the law *could* be if we lived in a sane, unbiased world. Alas, though, 'tis not to be, and returning to reality after each of her chapters was a rather jarring experience. This is definitely one to look at, if only to imagine what it would be like if everyone were free to love whomever they wished to love... ( )
  mrbove | Jun 12, 2016 |
Questa recensione è stata scritta per Recensori in anteprima di LibraryThing.
If you are interested in the mechanics of the legal side of marriage/partnerships then you need to read this book. It is very well written and will answer all your questions without boring you to death. Everyone who has ever wonder how to make sure that their partnership is protected by the law needs to read this. ( )
  CryBel | Jun 7, 2016 |
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Blends memoir and legal cases to show how contracts can create family relationships Most people think of love and contracts as strange bedfellows, or even opposites. In Love's Promises, however, law professor Martha Ertman shows that far from cold and calculating, contracts shape and sustain families. Blending memoir and law, Ertman delves into the legal cases, anecdotes, and history of family law to show that love comes in different packages, each shaped by different contracts and mini-contracts she calls "deals." Family law should and often does recognize that variety because legal rules, like relationships, aren't one size fits all. The most common form of family-which Ertman calls "Plan A"-come into being through different kinds of agreements than the more uncommon families that she dubs "Plan B." Recognizing the contractual core of all families shows that Plan B is neither unnatural nor unworthy of legal recognition, just different. After telling her own moving and often irreverent story about becoming part of a Plan B family of two moms and a dad raising a child, Ertman shows that all kinds of people-straight and gay, married and single, related by adoption or by genetics-use contracts to shape their relationships. As couples navigate marriage, reproductive technologies, adoption, and cohabitation, they encounter contracts. Sometimes hidden and other times openly acknowledged, these contracts ensure that the people they think of as "family" are legally recognized as family in the eyes of the law. Family exchanges can be substantial, like vows of fidelity, or small, like "I cook and you clean." But regardless of scope, the agreements shape the emotional, social, and financial terrain of family relationships. Seeing the instrumental role contracts will help readers better understand how contracts and deals work in their own families as well as those around them. Both insightful and paradigm-shifting, Love's Promises lets readers in on the power of contracts and deals to support love in its many forms and to honor the different ways that our nearest and dearest contribute to our daily lives.

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