OK book for what it is... I suspect I would give most books in this category a much worse rating (or simply wouldn't read them). Pretty even handed and realistic, doesn't go in for culty kind of stuff. ( )

Great book. I wish I'd had it a couple of years ago, but it hadn't been written yet. There is other literature with a similar approach, but the way these people wrote really spoke to me. Sometimes I felt like they were reading my mind. It was down-to-earth, logical, compassionate and optimistic. I highly recommend this to anyone who has a loved one with a substance abuse problem and is struggling with frustration, anxiety and a feeling of powerlessness.

When you're looking for help for your loved one and yourself, you can run into some very one-size-fits-all, black and white approaches. This book is about options, perspective and getting your own life under control so you can be a better help to others. It never puts the pressure or blame for someone else's problem on the family members or significant others, but it does have some very realistic and helpful advice for what a family member can do to optimize conditions for change. They don't prescribe one rigid path, which if it isn't followed means doom and despair. It's really more about developing a healthy understanding and attitude toward change, and the various ways change happens for different people.

I love many books, but most I do not consider to be life-changing. I think it's rare for a book to have that much power, at least in a lasting way. I think this book is different and that the things I learned from it are lessons that will stay with me, that I'll use (and already have used) in multiple life situations and that can be built upon.

I can't recommend it highly enough.

2017 update: My opinion of this approach remains high. I will say, these sound ideas are more difficult to put into practice in the midst of crisis. I was more or less looking back on crisis, or thinking I was, the first time I read this. It was definitely worth re-reading. ( )

Very different way of viewing and dealing with substance abuse. I like it. ( )