Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales by Marni Mann
Source: Purchase
My Rating: 4½/5 stars
My Review:

The addictive personality is a scary thing. The memoirs of an addict, a scarier thing. The author who knows how to bring both the personality and the stories together into a series of reads, brilliantly terrifying. Marni Mann’s Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales is one of the scariest, totally based on reality reads I have encountered in quite some time and is very much like reading the transcript of an episode of A & E’s Intervention.

At just nineteen year old, Nicole has survived a horrifying experience – one so awful that she should have immediately immersed herself in therapy in order to learn how to deal with what she survived. Instead, Nicole leaves college and with her best-friend, Eric leaves her home and family in Bangor, Maine for what she hopes will be a fresh start in Boston. From the moment the two arrive, they are at a disadvantage with little education, very little in the way of marketable skills and, a penchant for smoking pot. Neither Eric nor Nicole have any desire to change their ways and it doesn’t take either of them long to move beyond smoking pot and into harder drugs.

Nicole’s descent into full-blown addiction is startlingly swift and no matter how bad her life conditions become, she can’t make herself even consider seeking help. For Nicole, she has everything she needs: the drugs help her forget her horrifying past, the work she does contributes to the drugs she and Eric buy and consume and, she has her best-friend by her side to enable her behavior. The high Eric and Nicole chase is so alluring that each are willing to experiment and in no time, each is lost in heroin. For Nicole, the situation is perfect right up to the moment Eric dies from an overdose. Nicole is devastated by the loss of her best-friend but the heroin is stronger than her grief.

Over the next months (and years!) Nicole sinks further and further into her addiction and becomes the poster child for drug addiction. Nicole lies, steals, prostitutes herself, anything she has to do in order to fuel her addiction. Nicole attaches herself to whomever will supply her and debases herself in ways that are near-inconceivable. The scenes from this time in Nicole’s life are some of the read’s most graphic and horrifying. From allowing her body to be abused by strangers, by drugs, by herself to the moments when she can’t afford drugs and her body begins to detox are truly disgusting. At every turn and with every new disaster, you think Nicole can’t sink any further and yet, she finds new and improved ways to harm herself and those around her. Her rock bottom is the bottom of a chasm and when she hits, the effect reverberates through not only her life but her family’s as well.

The Bottom Line: I clearly had very little respect for sleep and my schedule the following day because I stayed up all night in order to read this book cover to cover. Nicole’s story is truly terrifying and the allure of the read is not just in the journey she takes into madness but in how raw the read is. Mann pulls no punches and lays bare precisely how ugly addiction is and how it impacts not just the user but those around him or her. Nicole’s life is her addiction and this novel is her life. I warn you, dear reader this is not a happy read but it is fascinating, well-written and, a study in addiction. It is also not the end of Nicole’s story . . . . ( )

This book had me drugged just like the characters in this book.I couldn't put the book down even though the book is not about a happy fairytale I loved it. I felt sad, weaken, ugly, high, pain, cravings, withdrawals. I felt bad for her but at the same time I didn't. Just wished she would have stopped using drugs and get straight before so many horrible things happened. It was a perfect book to teach people not to trust no one. People say there are your friends because of some sort of benefit. When you really need help no one comes to help you. Highly Recommend this book to everyone. I promise you will feel just as high as the characters when there in there own little world. Like the author said in the book "don't mess with Heroine its like a terrorist." ( )

Heroin & its bedfellows…

I really didn’t know what to expect when I loaded Marni Mann’s “Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales” into my Kindle. I knew that it was a story about drug addiction. I just didn’t know that it was so much more than a study about, or examination of, drug abuse and addiction. Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales transcends the normal drug addiction fare by placing you firmly within the mind of a drug addict. You are front row and center to the life and habits of a fatalistic user who has fallen prey to her drug of choice (heroin), causing her to spiral out of control into a destructive, dark hole. Beware: like addiction, this story grabs a hold of you and doesn’t let go.

At times while reading this book I felt off balance, queasy and disoriented. Presumably by design, the author injects you into a seedy, rat and roach infested, drug-induced journey through hell. As the story progresses the landscape (the streets of Boston, Massachusetts) turns from vivid and colorful to dark and bleak. At times, due to some pretty heady subject matter, you are compelled to turn, or look, away. But, the main character, Nicole, doesn’t allow you to do so. She just keeps pulling you deeper into the tangled web she has weaved. And, we walk in her dubious shoes throughout the story. Stepping into Nicole’s troublesome shoes is like riding a train that’s gone off of the rails. We are not only sorely seeking sobriety for her, but helplessly watching her life slip away as she ‘Chases the Dragon.’

The story is not for the faint of heart. It is not a fairytale. How could a story about drug abuse be easy to digest? But it isn’t terribly difficult to endure and swallow either. In fact, it’s a thoroughly captivating tale that leaves you wanting more. You want to read this book. It calls upon you like an addictive drug to keep turning the pages. The funny thing is while turning the pages you get lost in the journey. Just like a drug can cause you to lose track of time so does this story. When I was finished with the book I was sad that it had ended. I wanted to know more about what had become of Nicole and her battle with addiction. By the way, I’ve heard that Marni Mann is busy writing the next installment. So, those questions will be answered.

The characters in this book are fully developed real people. If you like stories about real people placed within precarious predicaments then this book is for you. I think you’ll find the characters to be sympathetic, complex and three dimensional. You will feel as if you know, or have known them in some incarnation or another. This is especially true of Nicole and her family. These are real people with real problems. I related to their tragic, difficult plight as they wrestled with their daughter and her demons. And, the author does a good job of making you pull for Nicole, the main character, to get sober while painting a wonderful and heart wrenching portrait of life on the streets.

One thing I kept wondering while reading the book was, did this really happen to the author? Is this her actual true-to-life addiction memoir? Is Nicole really Marni Mann? Did she experience what her main character went through? It’s hard to believe that she didn’t. The story feels so real that Nicole seems like an aka for Marni Mann. I know that the author did extensive research before writing this book and it shows.

The title is fitting for this tragic tale. Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales. They’re about the harsh reality that drugs can claim your soul. That addiction is very real, very destructive and very dangerous. If you had any doubts about it they will be vanquished after reading this story. This book, written brilliantly by debut author Marni Mann, is a compelling examination of drug use in our society. If you want to get lost within a mesmerizing story while learning a thing or two about addiction then Memoirs Aren’t Fairytales is for you. Published by Booktrope Editions, you can find it available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and iTunes among other venues. Or you can go to www.marnismann.com. ( )