Stephen R. Covey (1932–2012)

The book has lots of examples of successfully finding better alternatives - more than I was in the mood for. Here are a couple of things from the book. In the front of the book he says that he has been teaching this all his life, that is seek win-win; seek to find a better alternative than either of you came up with.

"Chapter 5 where he talked about the school system, and some people who dramatically turned around failing schools really touched me."

"The key is the heart. Until we understand people's hearts, not just their minds and ideologies, nothing can happen. That's why it's absolutely essential to create opportunities for people to listen to each other with the heart, mind, and spirit." (p. 402)

"Your success as a 3rd alternative thinker will come from the inside out. I recommend 20 things that I found to be very helpful in developing the inner strength and security to create 3rd alternative solutions:
1 Beware of pride.
2 Learn to say I'm sorry.
3 Be quick to forget perceived slights.
4 Make and keep very small promises to yourself and others.
5 Spend time in nature.
6 Read widely it's one of the best ways to make mental connections and get insights that can lead to 3rd alternatives.
7 Exercise often, every day if possible; and eat healthy food, with balance and moderation.
8 Get enough sleep, at least 7 to 8 hours daily.
9 Study inspiring or sacred literature.
10 Make quiet time for yourself to think through creative 3rd alternative solutions to your challenges.
11 Express love and appreciation to those with whom you associate.
12 You have two ears and one mouth: use them proportionately.
13 Practice being generous with others -- with your time, your heart, your forgiveness, and your affirmation.
14 Avoid comparing yourself to others.
15 Be grateful. Express it.
16 Learn to become enthusiastically relentless about discovering how to create great wins for others -- wins that increased their piece, their happiness, and their prosperity.
17 When things aren't going well, take a break, take a walk around the block, get a good nights sleep, and come back at it with the freshness and perspective of a new day.
18 If you truly can't reach win-win, remember that "no deal" in some cases it's the best alternative.
19 When it's comes to other people, their reactions, their weaknesses, and peculiarities, just smile a lot.
20 Never stop believing in the possibility of a 3rd alternative." (Page 437 -- 438)… (altro)