While I was no fan of Maushart's earlier book - The Mask of Motherhood -

this book makes some important and interesting points. Essentially, it is a

treatise on why marriage is failing, namely that women are no longer

willing to stay in such an unequal partnership that they needed to survive

in the past. This is borne out by statistics - more divorces are initiated

by women than men, and Maushart's argument is this is because most men are

quite comfortable in their marriages while their wives are probably

burdened with all the work, both physical and emotional. This is not a book

against marriage however - Maushart passionately argues for the survival of

marriages, especially for the sake of children. The fact that Maushart left

her second marriage and took her three children with her gives her

interpretation of the research some integrity - she is not afraid to look

at her own situation and criticise it.

This is a well researched book - Maushart quotes from an incredibly large

range of studies. She also makes a point of letting the reader know when

points she is making are her own conclusions based on life experience or

anecdotal evidence. And this time she is willing to offer solutions to the

problems she posits - namely that women must stop deluding themselves that

marriage is going to be a bed of roses and communicate their frustrations

openly rather than waiting to one day explode.

For all it's plusses, I still found this book a little too negative - there

is very little mention given to positives of being a wife (yes, there are

some!) And while it is hard to be positive about the actions of most men

vis-a-vis being equal in marriages - the evidence stacks up against them

mightily - there is no way I would give this to a man to read, as i am sure

they would just turn their back on such negative images. Did I find a lot

of what Maushart had to say true? You bet - no matter how wonderful our

partners are, most wives in modern society seethe, often permanently, on

what a dud deal marriage can be. But I also found that her analysis at

times read stridently biased, as though she was not willing to look beyond

her personal circumstance (two failed marriage to men who sound perfectly

dreadful). However, I would recommend this book to all wives, even if only

to make them think about how their marriage works, or doesn't, for them. ( )

I loved this book - it made me think a lot about why I act the way I do...even though I read it before I got married. After I said I do, I went back to it. Challenges your ideas on love and cleaning! ( )

Nothing has changed; I've no desire to be a wife but am still quite keen to acquire one.

Interesting points to note for me is that men get far more out of marriage than women in terms of health, stability, leisure time, companionship and happiness. They are less prone to mental illness and live longer in married relationships. No wonder women initiate most divorces. I feel like I've known this all my life, it's hardly ground breaking information and yet it's so persistent.

Extract - "The practice of husbands 'helping' around the house is no more a solution either. Any man who insists that this is good enough should be immediately downgraded to 'helping' with his wife's sex life as well."