This is the absolute best book I've ever read on singleness - and I've read several. It also offers one of the best perspectives on marriage I've come across - one that doesn't succumb to the wrong thinking that a spouse makes one complete or fulfills all our desires.

It's written by two (older) single women, which I really appreciated right off the bat, and especially as I worked my way through the book. Many books on singleness are written by 25 year olds who are essentially detailing their "success" story (of finding a spouse) and lack substance. Not so this one!

--Part 1 processes positive and negative views of celibacy within the secular culture as well as within the Church.

The secular views are often illustrated by references to TV shows, which I found to be a good idea, as most people (including Christians) do take their cues from media. Though TV plot lines may be a bit exaggerated compared to real life, the attitudes that are prevalent in media are also prevalent in real life.

The negative Christian views are altogether too familiar to me - ones that I encounter every day as a single in the Church. It was so refreshing to hear these authors acknowledge these as real issues, since in my experience, they are glossed over or ignored completely in the rest of the Christian world.

--Part 2 details dangerous messages we encounter regarding sexual temptation, sex, and marriage.

A favorite part of mine touched on how often the Church views not having sex as something that couldn't possibly be sustained - "it's too unnatural!" As if that is the one thing that Christ isn't powerful enough to become Lord of. One of the best messages in this book is the truth that God is powerful enough to walk us through lifelong celibacy, if that is His will, without removing our desire for sex. His grace is sufficient for even this.

I also appreciated their distinction of sexuality from sexual acts. I've often heard that "singles don't have to repress their sexuality," but the people saying it define sexuality by sexual acts. As a Christian who wants to honor God, I don't get to participate in sexual acts, but I can still embrace the fact that God has made me a woman and He wants to showcase part of His image through my particular gender.

--Part 3, "Searching for a New Direction," walks us through what the Church can do to begin affirming celibacy and singleness as another picture of God's love.

If you've spent any time at all in the Church, you're probably very familiar with the metaphor of the marriage relationship reflecting the relationship between Christ and the Church. It's not that it's a bad metaphor, but it is incomplete without the complementing metaphor of singleness.

"Singleness reminds the Church we grow not through biological ascription but through witness and hospitality to the stranger." (Stanley Haurwas, [b:After Christendom|145079|After Christendom|Stanley Hauerwas|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1385599148l/145079._SX50_.jpg|139984], as quoted on p. 171)

"The 'family' formed by the love of single persons is not the product of the intimate sexual acts shared by two people, but arises more spontaneously out of a dynamic of love that is open beyond exclusive boundaries. As such, the less formal bonding of singles reflects the openness of the divine love to the continual expansion of the circle of love to include within its circle those yet outside its boundaries." (Stanley Grenz, [b:Sexual Ethics: An Evangelical Perspective|492764|Sexual ethics|Stanley J. Grenz|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1348696411l/492764._SY75_.jpg|480952], as quoted on p. 168)

--Overall, this book wasn't dry at all to read. It did get repetitive at times, although I found that helpful to drill in certain concepts, since there is a lot of information here.

I would highly recommend it to any adult Christian, married or single! ( )