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Start with NO...The Negotiating Tools that the Pros Don't Want You to Know (2002)

di Jim Camp

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Start with No offers a contrarian, counterintuitive system for negotiating any kind of deal in any kind of situation--the purchase of a new house, a multimillion-dollar business deal, or where to take the kids for dinner. Think a win-win solution is the best way to make the deal? Think again. For years now, win-win has been the paradigm for business negotiation. But today, win-win is just the seductive mantra used by the toughest negotiators to get the other side to compromise unnecessarily, early, and often. Win-win negotiations play to your emotions and take advantage of your instinct and desire to make the deal. Start with No introduces a system of decision-based negotiation that teaches you how to understand and control these emotions. It teaches you how to ignore the siren call of the final result, which you can't really control, and how to focus instead on the activities and behavior that you can and must control in order to successfully negotiate with the pros. The best negotiators: * aren't interested in "yes"--they prefer "no" * never, ever rush to close, but always let the other side feel comfortable and secure * are never needy; they take advantage of the other party's neediness * create a "blank slate" to ensure they ask questions and listen to the answers, to make sure they have no assumptions and expectations * always have a mission and purpose that guides their decisions * don't send so much as an e-mail without an agenda for what they want to accomplish * know the four "budgets" for themselves and for the other side: time, energy, money, and emotion * never waste time with people who don't really make the decision Start with No is full of dozens of business as well as personal stories illustrating each point of the system. It will change your life as a negotiator. If you put to good use the principles and practices revealed here, you will become an immeasurably better negotiator.… (altro)
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ethnocentric and pessimistic. Doesn't grasp or address the fact that the problem is in an adversarial system that feigns "win-win" and often limits it to business environments. The problem isn't "win-win" as a possibility, but the fact that it is abused to cajole impracticable preliminary agreements. The book dismisses "win-win" entirely however.

It fails to see that the culture at the center of its view does not so adhere to "win-win" in the first place. Mentions sports but how many of those are win-win? Awards? "Competition" underpins the entire doctrine of "a marketplace of ideas." Mentions law, how much of that is win-win? Compare it to the European system, of which the author is an ardent admirer, which is an inquisitorial system, and closer to "win-win" than the culture the book claims to be overtaken by it. Because the very legal system -the book's culture of origin's regulatory apparatus- is founded on an "adversarial" system, the book seems to be carrying coals to Newcastle.

The issue is that win-win should mean win-win, yes mean yes, and no mean no!

If you think this is a book about saying "no" and standing on principles; it's not, it is about starting with "no" as a negotiating tactic, even if you have interest in saying "maybe," indeed even if you have strong interest in saying "yes," on the assumption that most negotiations -without rigorous negotiation- manufacture inequitable consent, that's not too problematic, but the assumption that all "win-win" is willful spin is excessive.

In one way alone, did this book deliver. It isn't afraid to challenge what it thinks is the status quo.
  AAAO | Oct 23, 2020 |
good book. has changed how I negotiate in my small business. ( )
  csleh | Jan 5, 2008 |
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Start with No offers a contrarian, counterintuitive system for negotiating any kind of deal in any kind of situation--the purchase of a new house, a multimillion-dollar business deal, or where to take the kids for dinner. Think a win-win solution is the best way to make the deal? Think again. For years now, win-win has been the paradigm for business negotiation. But today, win-win is just the seductive mantra used by the toughest negotiators to get the other side to compromise unnecessarily, early, and often. Win-win negotiations play to your emotions and take advantage of your instinct and desire to make the deal. Start with No introduces a system of decision-based negotiation that teaches you how to understand and control these emotions. It teaches you how to ignore the siren call of the final result, which you can't really control, and how to focus instead on the activities and behavior that you can and must control in order to successfully negotiate with the pros. The best negotiators: * aren't interested in "yes"--they prefer "no" * never, ever rush to close, but always let the other side feel comfortable and secure * are never needy; they take advantage of the other party's neediness * create a "blank slate" to ensure they ask questions and listen to the answers, to make sure they have no assumptions and expectations * always have a mission and purpose that guides their decisions * don't send so much as an e-mail without an agenda for what they want to accomplish * know the four "budgets" for themselves and for the other side: time, energy, money, and emotion * never waste time with people who don't really make the decision Start with No is full of dozens of business as well as personal stories illustrating each point of the system. It will change your life as a negotiator. If you put to good use the principles and practices revealed here, you will become an immeasurably better negotiator.

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