Gossip about ultra rich people is always fun, even if those people's exploits took place 100 years ago. On that strength alone it is definitely a good read.

However, I have two problems with the book. First is the emphasis placed upon the gorgeousness, the irresistible beauty of Idina. The book is filled with photos and I am dumbfounded by these claims; Idina looks exactly like former Prime Minister Theresa May. Not. Sexy.

The second problem, and much more serious from the readers' perspective, is the motivation behind Idina's "bolt" from her first marriage. Here's what we are told about social norms for the ultra wealthy at that time: sex outside of a marriage is totally fine, for both men and women, as long as one was discreet and the husbands only had sex with married women. Married men having sex with unmarried women was a huge no-no because it threatened titles and inheritances, as well as could cause unwanted pregnancies (married women could just slip bastard children into their existing brood). The author makes clear beyond a doubt that both Idina and her first husband subscribed whole-heartedly to this sexual system. So, okay. Idina and her first husband are full-tilt gangbusters in love, he goes off to war, they both have loads of sex with other people. She gets seriously ill, he's home on leave for 4 months and spends it not at her bedside but having sex with a married woman and also making goo-goo eyes at some sexy young unmarried thing. And this is what tanks the marriage! He abides by the rules of the sexual system and yet she still feels betrayed and chucks everything - including her kids - to go off with a guy she barely knows. It is scarcely believable. One can either not accept the author's characterization of the events, or one can accept it and view Idina as the very worst type of hypocrite; I go with the latter.

Definitely a good book, but that pivotal decision of Idina's is beyond bizarre. ( )

I have to admit that the book didn't keep me as engaged as I hoped, although I enjoyed the writer's personal journey in researching and writing about her own relative. Fine writing but I just ended up struggling to stay interested in Idina Sackville and her life. ( )

I was drawn to this book after reading Nancy Mitford’s [The Pursuit of Love] and discovering that one of the characters was modeled after Idina Sackville, the subject of this biography. Idina came of age in the 1920s and acquired her nickname because of her penchant for abandoning husband and children. She was crazy about getting married but she absolutely hated staying married. She piled up five marriages in her 62 years and lived the life of the elite, in Kenya for the most part, after leaving Great Britain at the end of her first marriage. I never expected to like this book as much as I did but I found this life of the elite undeniably fascinating. They lived by a different moral compass than the average person, at least those I know of.

”As long as a high-society married woman followed these words of property protection and kept absolute discretion, she could do what she liked. In the oft-cited words of the actress Mrs. Patrick Campbell: ‘It doesn’t matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don’t do it in the street and frighten the horses.’ The boundary between respectability and shame was not how a woman behaved, but whether she was discovered. If so, her husband could exercise his right to divorce: for a man to divorce his wife, she had to be proved to have committed adultery.” (page 21)

Life in Kenya among the British elite evolved into what came to be described as Happy Valley for the free flowing alcohol, drugs and casual sex. But there is not much emphasis on these topics. It’s just the way these people lived, men and women alike. And Idina was not the only one who had these casual sexual encounters. All of her spouses did as well.

The descriptions of the Kenyan landscape were breathtaking and Idina developed her farm to be the idyll that many of us might long for. Her life may seem chaotic to the casual observer but Idina was quite happy with her existence even though she cut herself off from her children. During WWII she attempts a reunion with them all that is somewhat hopeful but tragedy ensues.

In brief, Idina Sackville was not a person that anyone would admire but she was absolutely fascinating as a topic of biographical interest. I didn’t dislike her really, just marveled at the remarkable life she led.

Could not put it down. Highly recommended. ( )

a san francisco chronicle best book of the year
oprah magazine's #1 terrific read of the year
read this next
excellent ( )

I didn't enjoy this as much as I thought I would. Idina just seemed so shallow and I couldn't stand the way she left her kids. It didn't quite work for me, although I can see why others would like it. ( )