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Presents real-world examples and strategic advice on how to conduct oneself when confronted with the rude behavior of others, in a guide that makes recommendations for breaking rude cycles by being both polite and assertive.
Our America is just crying out for a book like that. We Americans are rude. Have we always been this way? Or is it just our increased number of human interactions that make for more rudeness. In any case, Forni takes on every possible case of rudeness and proposes what we are to do about it. His fundamental approach: confrontation, albeit gentle confrontation. His solutions did not seem plausible to me. I find it almost impossible to imagine that someone who spits in public would completely change their behavior when approached by a stranger and gently scolded. I found him to be on spot when he spoke about things we can do in our own lives to rein in our own rude behaviors. He suggests that we slow down, become empathetic, remain positive, respect others, disagree graciously, become familiar with those around us, watch small things in our lives, and ask rather than telling. ( )
About: How to handle rude folks in a multitude of situations
Pros: Quick read, interesting, includes many "scripts" of example situations and responses.
Cons: Life rarely goes according to script. Quotes that open each chapter are usually from people you've never heard of. Doesn't cover technologies newer than e-mail, such as IM. ( )
Dati dalle informazioni generali inglesi.Modifica per tradurlo nella tua lingua.
Precisely because rudeness is quite common, it is not a trivial issue. Indeed, in our day-to-day lives it is possibly responsible for more pain than any other mortal failing.
— Emrys Westacott
Our ability to deal with rudeness is somehow related to how we handle grief, and the series of steps that we go through in coping: shock, denial, anger, acceptance, and finally release. Of course the narrative for a loss occurs over a protracted period of time, while the rude encounter's narrative is far shorter.
— James Bailey
Dedica
Dati dalle informazioni generali inglesi.Modifica per tradurlo nella tua lingua.
To Virginia, always
Incipit
Dati dalle informazioni generali inglesi.Modifica per tradurlo nella tua lingua.
Preface This is how Marci recalls the one encounter with rudeness that sticks in her mind.
Eight tough weeks into my stint as a reluctant conscript in the Italian Army, I was not looking forward to another ten months in the stark isolation of my remote Alpine outpost.
Citazioni
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The Situation. A Colleague Leers at You. Your co-worker Adam's wandering eyes make you feel ill at ease.
The Solution. Say: "Adam, I wonder if you realize that the way you look at me is inappropriate. This is our workplace. When we work together, I would appreciate it if you made eye contact with me rather than glancing at other parts of my body. I want to keep our relationship on a purely professional level, and your behavior is anything but that. I hope you understand that this has to change. [119]
The Situation. You Receive a Dinnertime Solicitation via Telephone. Here it comes, yet another dinnertime telephone call from someone who wants you (1) to contribute to a worthy charitable cause or (2) to take advantage of a deal you can't pass up.
The Solution. (1) If you have no intention of making a donation, say: "I am sorry, but I am not adding new organizations to my charity list" or "I'm sorry, this time I am not contributing." If the caller insists, you insist as well: "No, thank you, my decision is final." (2) If you have no intention to buy and also resent the invasion of your privacy, say: "Allow me to interrupt you so that we don't waste each other's time. I am not interested in your product. Also, I don't do my shopping at dinnertime. Please make sure you put my name on your don't call list." Then add, "Thank you, have a good day." [145]
Ultime parole
Dati dalle informazioni generali inglesi.Modifica per tradurlo nella tua lingua.
Apologies and forgiveness are the lifesavers of relationships. They are two splendid examples of smart ways of treating others well. Use them unsparingly as you go through the wonderful and difficult experience in relating and connecting that we call life.
Presents real-world examples and strategic advice on how to conduct oneself when confronted with the rude behavior of others, in a guide that makes recommendations for breaking rude cycles by being both polite and assertive.
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