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What Do Fish Have to Do With Anything? (1997)

di Avi

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2486107,828 (3.28)1
Seven excellent stories about youngsters facing the first pangs of adolescence.
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As an avid reader of Avi I enjoy so much of his content. I remember starting when I was little and reading his books into adulthood. I had no idea that so many of my favorites were all by him because of the child I would just get books and not think about the author.

This is comprised of several short stories. And as per usual Avi delivers. I will be reviewing them piece by piece.

What do Fish Have to do With Anything?

This is very much a story about people who are unhappy and how some people can tell other people are unhappy and some people are wrapped up in their own unhappiness. Which is far too deep for a child's book but also very beautiful. I enjoyed this one even if I didn't really care about the characters quite as much as I should. I felt like I was there for the ride and the characters were just taking the ride with me.

3.5 stars.

The goodness of Matt Kaizer

Matt is like every other child, except he's gross probably the grossest child but he's still a child. At one point he says he'll never refuse a dare and so later on he gets dared to visit a dying man and the dying man mistakes him for an angel. The twist is that the dying man tells him horrible horrid things things so horrid that even Matt's worst actions cannot compare to this. And through hearing all of these terrible terrifying things that we can only imagine he slowly realizes he can't be that bad. There's awful and then there's awful. And in a way this little short story was hilarious to me. I love the phrase sneak a toot.

I also really like the idea that kids think they can be tough and bad and then they can see what some people do and realize they don't want to go that far. I don't think Matt will fully straighten out and go good even though it implies he does I think it's just a small phase. But I think it's pretty funny to think of all the horror stories of dying man could tell a kid that would set him on the right path.

4.5 stars.

Talk to Me

"Can you wish, by a phony star?"

In a weird way this one was sad. It felt like accepting someone's death but not accepting someone's death at the same time. Obviously Maria is going through a lot of problems and her parents don't want to talk about her brother who left. So she starts getting mysterious phone call that never speaks on the other end and she starts using that to heal. And I think in a way that doesn't make sense.

Maybe everyone needs a person who calls but never talks that they can listen on end about these horrible things that people go through. Because it feels so therapeutic to talk without being interrupted or to just finally get it all off of your chest.

I didn't really care for the end because I felt like it was too much of a giving up and moving on but I enjoyed the story up until that point.

3.5 stars.

Teacher Tamer

This one is the weakest for me so far. It's wholesome I like it, but it's just not flowing with the other stories. I think it's a great story about a student and a teacher but I don't feel like it really makes sense for how he got into the house or how he doesn't get suspected. It's just a weird story and it's the weakest one.

2.5 stars.

Pets

Pets is quite the story by Avi, and one of the main hooks for me. It seems no matter what when I'll be writes about cats he writes something scary. Pets is probably the one that I would suggest you get this book just to read even if all of them are pretty solid. I think it is a masterful horror story and in ways you don't even know if it's real or if it's fiction it has a very Stephen King for kids vibe to it.

5 stars.

What's Inside

He was the type of who if you gave him a birthday present, would have apologized for being born.

Damn. That's a hell of a line.

So this story is about chance and also about the idea that maybe life is worth living but maybe it's not. I can't say I felt bad for Danny at first because I thought he was just doing what anybody told him but then I realized he's just messed up and he really needs somebody. And he won't talk to anybody because he believes everybody feels the same way he does. So eventually I just got moved by this whole thing and fell into it and I can't not love it. I want Danny to get better I hope they get him help I hope that he's okay.

To think this is a story about empty boxes though. Avi moved me with empty boxes.

4.5 stars.

Fortune Cookie

The fact this has the term "dog-support checks" in it got me laughing.

"I want an arm tattoo of a busty nude lady fighting a python caught between her legs."
I'm dying.
"I want to have my left nipple pierced with a gold chain that attaches to my right nostril."
Omg. This child!

This one is pretty brutal. This child is straight from hell and I absolutely love Parker. You can really tell that the divorce destroyed him in a lot of ways and he's just doing the things he does to cope. I feel like this got the most laughs out of me and this is such an Avi move that I cannot ignore it.

I find the child a little bit unrealistic but also I wouldn't put it past the 13 year old to say this.

3.5 stars. ( )
  Yolken | Nov 2, 2022 |
This book haunted me when I read it a few times as a tween. As an adult, I both did and did not want to read the book again because the stories were so weird and sad. Each story explores some kind of loss. None of the stories are necessarily meant to be sad or so unsettling that they're creepy. But I view them as such. "What Do Fish Have to Do with Anything?" touches on how a boy's relationship to his mother and society changes after his dad leaves. "The Goodness of Matt Kaizer" briefly examines a loss of identity due to shifting self-expression, both from a boy who is friends with a rebellious PK (preacher's kid) and the PK himself. The way this particular story was written made it seem like someone had died, not just stopped rebelling. "Talk to Me" just cracked my heart down the middle as a kid. It was the most memorable of the stories for a variety of reasons, when I was a kid. I wanted the caller to be Brian. As an adult, I knew what was coming. I felt so bad that the girl was ostracized for something that had nothing to do with her, and that she was desperately lonely. "Teacher Tamer" made me chuckle at the last line, originally. Now, all these years later: I really hope kids don't use Gregory as an example. Poor Mrs Wessex. "Pets" was the most heartwarming of these creepy, sad stories. I was glad to read it again. Also it's still creepy. "What's Inside" is still profound. "Fortune Cookie" was one I sort of understood when I first read it. As an adult, I cackled and guffawed and cackled some more as Parker cleverly called both his parents out on their shit. He was a wiseass and it was refreshing. ( )
  iszevthere | Jul 3, 2022 |
Collection of seven stories about middle school students who are at turning points in their lives, dealing with peer pressure, ghosts, unfair teachers, and a world where not all questions have logical answers.
  lrobe190 | Jan 21, 2020 |
short stories all with a good moral ending ( )
  rolyat | Sep 29, 2009 |
I usually don't like AVI but this book changed my mind, for a time at least. Anyway, the stories in this book are kind of depressing but well written. If you like depressing stories then read this book. I not putting it down or anything. I like it and that is why its on my page. ( )
  pinkypig | Apr 28, 2008 |
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