Funny thing is, hotels have deaths in their rooms all the time. When John Cleese was coming up with ideas for Fawlty Towers, he asked a friend who worked at The Savoy in London what he thought was the hardest part of the job. He said "Getting the stiffs out." ( )

Yes! I LOVE Fawlty Towers! I was so happy to have the scripts to Fawlty Towers. Actually, I think at one point I probably had all of the shows memorized.

Now a nice DVD collection to go with my script would be much appreciated. . . hint, hint. ( )

The jokes are a bit hit and miss (might just be that some haven't aged well, though), but overall it's pretty funny. I really have to watch this show one of these days... ( )

Update

I have just enough time, I think, to do this while the water is heating up. I say this with no expectation.

So, I'm lying in bed this morning licking something to make it stiff - this has to be done perfectly, no dribbling, that would spoilt the effect - and then when it is ready you want to slide it in and this has to be gentle. You want to coax it in, you don't want to lose that hardness you just got exactly how you wanted it. And most definitely you don't want to lose your temper, that won't work at all.

So, you have the needle and you have the thread and you are being gentle and coaxing, honestly you are and you aren't going to lose your temper, you know that doesn't work. But as usual it isn't working. You can't get the fucking thread in the fucking, fucking needle and you are going to kill the needle. That's it, mind made up, you are going to fucking kill it. Please don't tell me the needle is inert and can't be killed, I don't fucking care. The needle is going to die.

No. Even better. I'm going to take it down to breakfast and I'm going to stab it in the bacon and until it has eaten every last bit of the fucking bacon it is staying there. Please don't tell me needles can't eat bacon, just don't. This needle clearly has a mind of its own and it is going to eat the fucking bacon. Or die. The choice is its.

If you are wondering, this is as good as it gets, sewing for me.

Goes to shower. Burning hot water, can't stand near it. That'd be right.

-------------------

As I write I am sitting in a most peculiar hotel room. The hot water is clearly trying its damnedest to be more than luke warm, but not a chance. There is a big hole in the window - I'm waiting for a technician to come and examine both it and the water.

Breakfast. Well. I don't know if I'm just having the unluckiest run, but is the English breakfast not the most dreadful thing? I'm at a 4 star hotel, I ate a mouthful of sausage and quickly decided to abandon it altogether. But then I tasted the bacon and the bacon gave me a new appreciation of the sausage. Not that I ate more of it, but with a gun to my head and given the choice I would have smiled winsomely at the sausage. I would have wraggled my finger at it and told it to come this way.

So, now the technician is here. Everybody working in this hotel is East European except for a horrible Englishman who bosses them all about. They have no agency to be nice. In fact the receptionist has been so nice to me twice so far that we are both fearful she is going to lose her job.

It turns out, in addition to there being a large hole in the window, the heating in the hotel is only turned on certain times of the day. P-leassse don't tell me it's a green policy, I don't believe it. I'm going to fucken freeze to death.

Last Saturday I also stayed in a 4 star hotel and it was a Rolls Royce. As nice a hotel as I've ever stayed at. Doesn't this make you wonder about the goodreads star system?

Well, while I've been writing, the technician has plugged up the hole in the window, turned on the heating, though since management decides when to let it through to the room this isn't exciting me greatly. He suggests that if I have my showers in the evening or the crack of dawn they will be warmer....I'm coming around to the concept that I have to shiver through my showers. But wait - dashes into bathroom for cosy chat with technician. Anything you do in this bathroom is cosy, so don't read anything into that please.

Ah. If you run the shower for 15 minutes before climbing in - I know, I know, I have occasionally been known to exaggerate a tad but these are the very words of the technician - it does get warmer. Probably not warm enough, but warmer.

Geez, is this hard for a person from the South of Australia to do. Our legal showers have been 2 minutes for some years due to our ongoing drought conditions. To watch 15 minutes of water go down the tubes in order to get a comfortable shower is difficult indeed.

I find it hard to believe that I'm over the worse. Expect another installment please.




( )

Update

I have just enough time, I think, to do this while the water is heating up. I say this with no expectation.

So, I'm lying in bed this morning licking something to make it stiff - this has to be done perfectly, no dribbling, that would spoilt the effect - and then when it is ready you want to slide it in and this has to be gentle. You want to coax it in, you don't want to lose that hardness you just got exactly how you wanted it. And most definitely you don't want to lose your temper, that won't work at all.

So, you have the needle and you have the thread and you are being gentle and coaxing, honestly you are and you aren't going to lose your temper, you know that doesn't work. But as usual it isn't working. You can't get the fucking thread in the fucking, fucking needle and you are going to kill the needle. That's it, mind made up, you are going to fucking kill it. Please don't tell me the needle is inert and can't be killed, I don't fucking care. The needle is going to die.

No. Even better. I'm going to take it down to breakfast and I'm going to stab it in the bacon and until it has eaten every last bit of the fucking bacon it is staying there. Please don't tell me needles can't eat bacon, just don't. This needle clearly has a mind of its own and it is going to eat the fucking bacon. Or die. The choice is its.

If you are wondering, this is as good as it gets, sewing for me.

Goes to shower. Burning hot water, can't stand near it. That'd be right.

-------------------

As I write I am sitting in a most peculiar hotel room. The hot water is clearly trying its damnedest to be more than luke warm, but not a chance. There is a big hole in the window - I'm waiting for a technician to come and examine both it and the water.

Breakfast. Well. I don't know if I'm just having the unluckiest run, but is the English breakfast not the most dreadful thing? I'm at a 4 star hotel, I ate a mouthful of sausage and quickly decided to abandon it altogether. But then I tasted the bacon and the bacon gave me a new appreciation of the sausage. Not that I ate more of it, but with a gun to my head and given the choice I would have smiled winsomely at the sausage. I would have wraggled my finger at it and told it to come this way.

So, now the technician is here. Everybody working in this hotel is East European except for a horrible Englishman who bosses them all about. They have no agency to be nice. In fact the receptionist has been so nice to me twice so far that we are both fearful she is going to lose her job.

It turns out, in addition to there being a large hole in the window, the heating in the hotel is only turned on certain times of the day. P-leassse don't tell me it's a green policy, I don't believe it. I'm going to fucken freeze to death.

Last Saturday I also stayed in a 4 star hotel and it was a Rolls Royce. As nice a hotel as I've ever stayed at. Doesn't this make you wonder about the goodreads star system?

Well, while I've been writing, the technician has plugged up the hole in the window, turned on the heating, though since management decides when to let it through to the room this isn't exciting me greatly. He suggests that if I have my showers in the evening or the crack of dawn they will be warmer....I'm coming around to the concept that I have to shiver through my showers. But wait - dashes into bathroom for cosy chat with technician. Anything you do in this bathroom is cosy, so don't read anything into that please.

Ah. If you run the shower for 15 minutes before climbing in - I know, I know, I have occasionally been known to exaggerate a tad but these are the very words of the technician - it does get warmer. Probably not warm enough, but warmer.

Geez, is this hard for a person from the South of Australia to do. Our legal showers have been 2 minutes for some years due to our ongoing drought conditions. To watch 15 minutes of water go down the tubes in order to get a comfortable shower is difficult indeed.

I find it hard to believe that I'm over the worse. Expect another installment please.




( )