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Sto caricando le informazioni... Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romanticsdi Sasha Cagen
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Iscriviti per consentire a LibraryThing di scoprire se ti piacerà questo libro. Attualmente non vi sono conversazioni su questo libro. I meant to read this book many many years ago, but it took me until last year to actually track down a free copy and up until now to actually work my way through it. For the most part I ended up finding myself vastly disappointed. It's only saving grace was the basic concept behind the whole thing, that is that our culture is far too obsessed with relationships and there are a lot of people out there who will make themselves completely miserable simply to be able to keep the cache of being in a relationship. Over all the work was somewhat muddled and juvenile. Sasha Cagen coined the (frankly ridiculous) term "quirkyalone" to refer to people who are comfortable doing their own thing and who feel no need to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. Here she expands on what she thinks that means, shares stories of people who identify with the label, and offers various kinds of advice. A friend of mine -- a fellow unattached introvert -- lent me a copy of this book, presumably because he found some personal resonances in it and thought I might, too. I'm afraid it didn't do very much for me, though. Don't get me wrong, I am very much in favor of striking back against the idea that married is inherently better than single and against the social pressure to pair off that all of us, especially women, feel at some point or another. But, well... For a book that's ostensibly about the idea of being happy and comfortable on one's own, this thing is overwhelmingly about relationships and romance. Places to look for them, different ways of conducting them, standards for them, what other people think about them, being optimistic and hopeful about them, and on and on and on. And I am so very not interested in that. I've done the relationship thing, and, while it certainly had its upsides, I've come to the conclusion that I really am much happier and better off on my own. Nor do I feel the need to justify that. Yes, that's right. I'm too much of a loner for the quirkyalones. I also found the way the author spend pretty much the entire book bouncing around in ultra-perky fashion chirping about how she'd started a movement, OMG!, kind of off-putting. Although, at the same time, I think I feel kind of sorry for her, because as a movement, it seems to have fizzled. The book was published in 2004, and although I remember some buzz about the idea of "quirkyalone" at the time, I don't think I've heard the word used since. I feel like I'm being slightly more negative here than I really want to be, though. Honestly, I can imagine this being a useful and positive reading experience for people who feel they need validation for not being in a relationship, or reassurance that other people feel the way they do, or encouragement to hold out for the right person instead of "settling" because it seems like the thing to do. But that's not me. And I can't help thinking there's something a little too doth-protest-too-much about the whole thing, somehow, as if the author is perhaps secretly hoping that if she says, "It's OK to be yourself, by yourself! Not having a boyfriend isn't a bad thing! It's because you're a special kind of person and because you have standards!" loudly enough and often enough, she'll manage to convince herself. This book was a real "aha" moment for me and, I suspect, many others who picked it up. Sasha Cagen expands on the essay she wrote for UTNE Reader waaay back in the early 2000's ("early aughts"?) about this concept of the "quirkyalone"--people who are happier being single than dating merely for the sake of dating. Despite the cutesy-pie moniker, I immediately "got" the idea of the quirkyalone...and that I am one myself. I am single more often than not. I am not against dating, being set-up, seeking out dates, romance or marriage...however, I won't stay in a relationship that's not working out and I won't date MERELY for the sake of companionship/to fit into social norms. Plus, I like my own space, yet I am sociable. These are pretty much the exact characteristics of a so-called quirkyalone, according to Cagen. So no wonder finding this book of the $2 "last chance" cart at my local Books-a-Million was a minor epiphany for me. Cagen's Quirkyalone is not perfect. She spends a little too much time explaining herself and defending her idea (which, let's be fair, she came up with a name for but did not invent). I understand her need to explain and defend quirkyalones, since it often feels like we (happy singles) must constantly prove that we are not constantly crying into vodka and ice cream milkshakes, a la Bridget Jones. Yet at the same time, why give doubters a second thought? We don't have to answer to them. But the impulse to prove that we are not pathetic--indeed, quite the opposite--lives on, even in our own little "manifesto". Cagen is also a tad too precious, and "quirkyalone" comes off as a bit...twee. Someone might assume all quirkyalones live in Seattle, Portland, and New York, make crafts for Etsy, and shop exclusively at thrift stores. Not that there's anything wrong with any of that, but we're not ALL like that. Still, I'm happy that this book and this idea exist. It's a good start and I hope Cagen will write more in the future. Her writing style is similar to another writer I admire, Jessica Valenti: straightforward and friendly. Good reading for undergraduates and non-academics who are just starting to explore ideas like feminism and progressive politics. Here's hoping more people find this book and their own "aha" moments. nessuna recensione | aggiungi una recensione
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A funny, upbeat, inspiring guide for all those singles who identify with enjoying their unique lifestyles while waiting for the right romance to come along. A celebration of the discerning singles everywhere-the quirkyalone! There was a time when a single woman over 25 was called an old maid. Mothers fretted these unfortunate creatures might be condemned to a committing a crime of tragic proportions: living a life of eternal spinsterhood. Fortunately, in the 21st century, tv shows like Sex and the City affirm that it's more than ok - it's cool to be single. Sasha Cagen has coined the term that defines the lonely romantic who prefers her (or his) own company to that of a less desirable counterpart. Defining "singledom as a natural resting state" for quirkyalones, Cagen's guide is the best kind of self-empowerment: incisive, savvy, hilarious. Equal parts self-help and hilarious pop culture, QuirkyAlone is self-empowerment for the wise people of the world. Including quizzes, lists, it's not-your-average-relationship-book. Non sono state trovate descrizioni di biblioteche |
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But still, it's nice to know that there's a world of singles out there that are not desperate to settle down *immediately*, and don't need to be in a relationship to feel defined.
However, I must say that I felt that the ultimate message of the book was, indeed, "just be patient and *one day* it *will* happen for you." *That* message I can get from my mother, thanks. What I needed to hear was "Just keep on keepin' on, and do your thing, girl."
But maybe I'm just sensitive... ( )