A worthwhile, if perhaps a tough read. Can be triggering. Almost everyone has either been abused, or knows someone who has. People think of abuse as just physical, forgetting the emotional and verbal abuse is still abuse. This book is aimed at abusive men, but it would be just as beneficial for a man in a relationship with an abusive woman.

In this book, Bancroft dives into why abusers behave the way they do, and through snippets of his counseling sessions, reveals what goes on in their heads, the way abusers justify their behavior, or simply refuse to acknowledge what they’re doing and how they’re hurting their partners. There are also tips on how to get out safely, how to protect your children, and what to do if you’re a loved one witnessing abuse. It also explains why many times, the abused partner can’t “just leave”.

Worth a read if you’ve ever been abused or know someone who has, or is. ( )

A worthwhile, if perhaps a tough read. Can be triggering. Almost everyone has either been abused, or knows someone who has. People think of abuse as just physical, forgetting the emotional and verbal abuse is still abuse. This book is aimed at abusive men, but it would be just as beneficial for a man in a relationship with an abusive woman.

In this book, Bancroft dives into why abusers behave the way they do, and through snippets of his counseling sessions, reveals what goes on in their heads, the way abusers justify their behavior, or simply refuse to acknowledge what they’re doing and how they’re hurting their partners. There are also tips on how to get out safely, how to protect your children, and what to do if you’re a loved one witnessing abuse. It also explains why many times, the abused partner can’t “just leave”.

Worth a read if you’ve ever been abused or know someone who has, or is. ( )

This book should be required reading for everyone

I found this book very insightful. It perfectly describes the frustration involved when dealing with the multiple faces of manipulation. I highly recommend it for anyone who is suffering or has ever suffered, or who know someone who has suffered from abuse. It’s validating and informative and helps to scrub myths and wishful thinking from your mind. ( )

Life changing ( )

I first read this in college as part of a psychology project. I remember my understanding of relationships and people was rattled, and it explained some people I interacted with a lot. That sentence was written in such a way so as to not get too personal. I don't feel like doing that in this review. Reading this over a decade later...was a lot. This is a heavy, dense read. I recommend reading it over the course of a week at the fastest, and advocate for taking even more time. There's tons of good information. I took notes. I can understand why some people might shout, "Male bashing!" but...not really. This book was written twenty years ago and is still incredibly relevant today. That made me sad but mostly incredibly grateful I remembered this book and was able to access and respond to it. Many thanks to Lundy Bancroft. I hope this book is widely read and that more updated resources are available. Social services often gets its funding cut, so resources can be here one moment and gone the next. Bancroft has a website and several social media pages, and he's thankfully still doing this work. ( )