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Letters to a Young Therapist

di Mary Pipher

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Mary Pipher's groundbreaking investigation of America's "girl-poisoning culture," Reviving Ophelia, has sold nearly two million copies and established its author as one of the nation's foremost authorities on family issues. In Letters to a Young Therapist, Dr. Pipher shares what she has learned in thirty years as a therapist, helping warring families, alienated adolescents, and harried professionals restore peace and beauty to their lives. Letters to a Young Therapist gives voice to her practice with an exhilarating mix of storytelling and sharp-eyed observation. And while her letters are addressed to an imagined young therapist, every one of us can take something away from them. Long before "positive psychology" became a buzzword, Dr. Pipher practiced a refreshingly inventive therapy--fiercely optimistic, free of dogma or psychobabble, and laced with generous warmth and practical common sense. But not until now has this gifted healer described her unique perspective on how therapy can help us revitalize our emotional landscape in an increasingly stressful world. Whether she's recommending daily swims for a sluggish teenager, encouraging a timid husband to become bolder, or simply bearing witness to a bereaved parent's sorrow, Dr. Pipher's compassion and insight shine from every page of this thoughtful and engaging book.… (altro)
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One of the points she makes is about diagnoses, and how people sometimes experience them as disabling. Of course, when I got diagnosed as mentally ill, I was rock bottom and extremely symptomatic; I needed something to change and my diagnosis gave me a change. Of course, I can also see where she’s coming from. Having a diagnosis, like being poor, is a great way to be associated with people that nobody else wants. The person who will mess up an important form you leave lying around, (he’s ill); and the person who won’t even try not to bully that person for not taking out the trash (not so much in recovery as merely in possession of a diagnosis). Of course, having read Mother Teresa, I can recognize my desire to hide away from the world’s sick and lazy (slightly strange and high functioning, please…. No, no coupons….) as being part of the problem, right. Some people even make a lot of friends by admitting that they’re just as powerless as everybody else (addicted/co-dependent/etc). And at the risk of being crotchety and anti-prosperity, who really wants to be the (superficial, gloating, status-y) divorce lawyer from “Anna Karenina”? (The good divorce lawyer? No….) So, I suppose with our tiny brains probably not every condition is diagnosable, but if you are lucky enough to have a diagnosis and be in recovery, I think you should be grateful.

…. I almost forgot my best point: properly used, labels can actually decrease stigma, albeit by a sort of compromise. Now, some people just want to have things their own way, and if they really want to have it out with you they will—but there’s a difference between saying, I think you have a personality disorder, and, You don’t have a condition; you’re just a greedy bastard/freak/an effin’ mistake. You’re wrong, just wrong. The end. Now, which is worse?
  goosecap | Feb 26, 2022 |
Well, assuming the letters which comprised this book were "for real," they would seem to be a bit self-serving. Whoever "Laura" is (or was) I would feel a bit awkward having my supervision exposed to the world...and Pipher's own clients must feel swell, too, having their "laundry" aired. Okay, so the names were changed to protect the innocent, and all that, it still seems like an invasion of privacy.

My reaction interests me! But truely, I think I would rather have gotten the advice in a more impersonal manner. Yes, I could use some good therapy....

I listened to this book courtesy of audible.com. The narrator, Eliza Foss, had an irritating voice. If my therapist had (had I a therapist?) a voice like that, I doubt I could last the first 50-minute hour. ( )
  kaulsu | May 2, 2016 |
This was required reading for one of my Counseling classes. We all ate it up, and it was a nice break from the textbooks we usually had to read chapters and chapters of. Her conversational style is so relaxing and genuine, and it makes you want to curl up in a comfy chair with a cup of (insert choice beverage here), and spend the afternoon reading it. It's insightful and makes you think, while helping you learn from Mary's own experiences working with clients. I really enjoyed it. ( )
  iamexhumed | May 13, 2010 |
Reading this book was like getting life advice from your personal therapist. Mary Pipher doesn't only explain what it takes to become a great therapist but she also shares the lessons she has learned from her many years of being a therapist herself. I truly enjoyed her conversational tone and the letter layout of the book.
Highly recommended! ( )
  Lilac_Lily01 | Apr 30, 2009 |
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Mary Pipher's groundbreaking investigation of America's "girl-poisoning culture," Reviving Ophelia, has sold nearly two million copies and established its author as one of the nation's foremost authorities on family issues. In Letters to a Young Therapist, Dr. Pipher shares what she has learned in thirty years as a therapist, helping warring families, alienated adolescents, and harried professionals restore peace and beauty to their lives. Letters to a Young Therapist gives voice to her practice with an exhilarating mix of storytelling and sharp-eyed observation. And while her letters are addressed to an imagined young therapist, every one of us can take something away from them. Long before "positive psychology" became a buzzword, Dr. Pipher practiced a refreshingly inventive therapy--fiercely optimistic, free of dogma or psychobabble, and laced with generous warmth and practical common sense. But not until now has this gifted healer described her unique perspective on how therapy can help us revitalize our emotional landscape in an increasingly stressful world. Whether she's recommending daily swims for a sluggish teenager, encouraging a timid husband to become bolder, or simply bearing witness to a bereaved parent's sorrow, Dr. Pipher's compassion and insight shine from every page of this thoughtful and engaging book.

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