This was a fun romcom of a vampire novel. There are things that I do find annoying. Our protagonist is a plus size lady like myself. She is constantly worried about her image and her size in particular. She believes that she needs to be thinner. This becomes a blockage in her mind for most of the story. Whether it’s because someone couldn’t like her for her size or how getting down on herself for her own size, harms other people. Those portions of the story really annoy me. I was hoping this would have good fat representation, but the character is just so down on herself that it gets annoying with how often it happens. She does come to accept herself in the end because she’s a vampire and will never be able to change the way that she looks but her size is mentioned, commented o,n made aware of, its just too much. Take all that stuff away and this book is otherwise pretty fun. She is made a vampire by her own accidental, exuberance and fooling around. This brings the vampire council to her door to tell her. Hey that’s illegal. They do this by stealing her mother. While that is more the end of the book, the rest of the book is this hot guy who happens to write romance novels can never love her because she doesn’t love herself. Overall, I liked the book and would be happy to read a sequel as long as they cut half of it out. I like this book when it focused on the romcom story. I didn’t like this book when it focused on the weight of our main character. ( )

I received this book for free, this does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

I'm sorry, but how is it even possible that I'm absolutely jonesing for a big, tall glass of A positive?

When Lily wakes up after having slept through the day, craving blood, no reflection in the mirror, and no memory of what happened after she went out with her bestfriend Cat, they both can only think, vampire. When Cat takes her to a blood bank that she volunteers at to feed, Lily gets her memory back from the energy the blood gives her. Suddenly Lily's dealing with being one of the undead, a 400 year old hottie that acts like he likes her, and a Grand Master of the North American Vampire Council wanting to exact revenge on her.

He moves closer, getting in my face. “Why do you insist on being the prickly heroine who pushes everyone away?

Told all from Lily's point-of-view and in a stream of conscious that felt chaotic and uneven, Lily worries more about her weight than being turned into a vampire, this didn't quite capture me into the story. We get the flashback of Lily meeting Tristan in a bar and then when he walks her home, he thinks he's using his Influence on her and starts to drink from her neck. Lily, aware of what is happening, decides to bite him back and accidentally performs the ceremony needed to change her into a vampire. She runs from Tristan, goes to Cat the next night and then Tristan catches back up with her to give her some information. It's against the vampire council rules to create a “newborn” without their say so and the Grand Master, Gideon, just so happens to be Tristan's enemy, so it's on with Gideon hunting them to kill them both.

Tristan Newberry bit me two nights ago. But when, exactly, did he start getting under my skin?

For being the male main character and the whole catalyst for what happens and changes Lily's life, Tristan actually felt like a nonentity for a lot of the story. The story being from Lily's pov didn't help getting to know him, we don't get a lot about him or his past, and the way his character didn't really do much had him feeling barely sketched out. After Lily drinks from him, which causes insatiable desire and has them having a bedroom scene around the 65% mark, Lily also learns from Tristan's blood that he had a great love that died. Since Lily has strong insecurities stemming from her weight, she just can't believe Tristan loves her and has her constantly pushing or running from him.

Maybe I like him...a little.

Gideon hunting Lily and Tristan consisted of two threatening notes to Lily and then kidnapping her mother, Gideon was a pretty off to the side villain. We got a little world-building with Tristan explaining the vampire council and then how when a newborn is created a vampire slayer is automatically made, usually the newborn's nemesis in someway. Lily's nemesis was a work colleague and he makes a small appearance to bring in some danger and a little secondary romance with Cat.

Maybe my power was there all along. And I just needed to embrace it.

The last 15% has the big showdown between Gideon, Lily and Tristan. It was an ok battle scene but since Gideon was off screen so much, I'm not sure I really felt the stakes. Lily's mom has a 180 degree character change, she'd been big in fat shaming Lily all her life and even reveals the big secret about Lily's father. I really never felt the emotional development between Lily and Tristan, he's hot and Lily thinks he does caring things here and there between being too protective and Tristan says here and there that he likes Lily. Since I didn't feel there was substance between them, I didn't believe in the I love yous that were thrown out in the end and this couple ended up feeling pretty meh. Lily does bring up her insecurities repeatedly throughout the book and the nonchalant way she took becoming a vampire, her personal weight issues more on her mind at times than becoming undead, just didn't personally jive with me. The tone is supposed to feel fast paced and frivolous but it felt off and chaotic in a way to me that just didn't have the story landing with me.

For the first time, I see that I am so much more. ( )

There's no shock quite like going out with a friend, meeting a cute guy, having him buy you a drink, feeling a connection with him, leaving the bar with him to go somewhere more private, and then waking up a vampire the next day (night?).

But that's precisely what happens to Lily Baines. Once over the shock, Lily is pulled into a centuries-long rivalry between her "master" Tristan Newberry, and Gideon - head of the vampire council.

With their fates resting (not so securely) in Gideon's hands, Lily gets a crash course in her new vampire life. But that also means Lily is confronted with her own insecurities. And she'll have eternity to come to terms with it.

I like that Gloria Duke challenged the typical vampire story. I mean, when I think about vampires in fiction, the image that comes to mind is typically this ethereal confidence and exceptional beauty. Lily's insecurities mean that she looks at her plus-size figure and sees everything wrong. She's spent her entire life trying to fit into what she believes is the ideal body which is not her body - according to Lily.

Now, she's kind of thrown into this new life where she has to begin to love and appreciate herself because vampires don't age. As much as becoming a vampire has ultimately changed Lily's life, it's also forced it to remain the same in many ways. One of those ways is her body. A lot of the story deals with Lily's newfound vampirism and the revelations of things lost and gained. We often think of immortality as something great, offering new freedoms. But there are also downsides and Gloria Duke explores those really well.

Because Lily's body image hasn't only been something that has impacted her self, it impacts her relationships. I think when we don't love ourselves, or think kindly of ourselves, it's difficult to see how others could love us.

This is especially apparent in Lily's relationship with Tristan. They have a kind of love-hate start to their relationship. There's an undeniable attraction, but you know, he changed Lily into a vampire altering her entire existence plus it's his grudge with the head vampire in charge that has put them in danger. There's also the fact that not being comfortable in her own skin means that she can't understand why Tristan would be attracted to her.

Basically, in order to come to terms with her relationships, Lily needs to learn to value herself. The book spends a lot of time on this and I think it's safe to say that a lot of progress is made. If this continues into a series - which there is certain potential for - I'd like to see Lily with her new sense of self-worth and how that informs her actions.

Now, I'm not too sold on Tristan as the romantic hero here. I think that Gloria Duke wrote him exceptionally well in that his antiquated views certainly speak to a life lived in the past. Along with Lily, I want to see Tristan making moves to the present which I can totally see happening in another book as Lily kind of brings that freshness to his life.

Overall, I enjoyed this story, I'm very interested for it to continue. I think there's plenty left for Lily to explore in her new life and new outlook, but there's just as much opportunity to get a different perspective. ( )

“My name is Lily Baines. I’m twenty-five years old. I live on Bleecker Street in the West Village. I work as an overnight web editor… And apparently, I’m a f*cking vampire.”

When Life Gives You Vampires is a fun paranormal romantic comedy debut from Gloria Duke.

When Lily wakes up with little memory of the night before, she’s stunned to find she has fangs and no reflection. It takes prompting, and a bag of blood, from her best friend, Cat, to remember the gorgeous guy, Tristan, she went home with from their local bar, and biting his earlobe in retaliation when he unexpectedly sank his teeth into her neck. As far as Lily can see, they’re aren’t any upsides to becoming a vampire -she can’t go out in the sun, she’ll outlive her friends and family, will have to scrounge for blood, and she will forever have a plus size body.

Lily is likeable enough, smart and funny, but with a negative self image due to being overweight. The promise of a body acceptance journey was what drew me to this novel because I don’t think I’ve ever seen a female vampire that was anything but svelte. I appreciated Duke’s attempt at that goal, and felt Lily did take some steps towards changing her negative view of herself and recognising how it affected her relationships.

The romance between Lily and Tristan is a not particularly convincing, though Lily’s lust felt sincere at least. I think mainly because they don’t spend a lot of time together so there isn’t the opportunity for chemistry to develop, and though we get some background on Tristan, including that he is a bestselling romance novelist which I loved, I didn’t feel his personality was well defined.

Conflict between Lily, Tristan and the leader of the Vampire Council with a grudge that threatens both their lives provides some suspense and action. As does Lily being stalked by a newbie vampire hunter she feels kind of responsible for.

I did enjoy the author’s blunt, sarcastic and sometimes sweary sense of humour, and Duke’s experience as a sitcom writer shows in her dynamic dialogue. However, one thing that struck me as odd was the reference to Tristan looking like ‘Clint Eastwood and Indiana Jones had a superhot baby’. I doubt that’s a reference anyone younger than Gen X would be able to visualise, and it fits uncomfortably with mentions of Twilight, and the use of terms like ‘obvi’.

I enjoyed the distraction When Life Gives You Vampires offered. With the loose ends remaining at the end of the book Duke obviously has hopes for a continuing series. Light and funny, I think the potential is there. ( )

Lily Baines walks into a bar as an overweight 25 year old journalist and wakes up the next morning as a vampire. Huh what? How? Turns out she fought the guy biting her neck and bit him back. Oops we all know what happens when you exchange blood with a vamp, even by accident. Mayhem ensues as a modern woman struggles to bring a guy from the 1600s up to date.
This is a romcom so the guy is drop dead beautiful and very rich, and Lily gets comes to terms with her beautiful voluptuous body. It's not deep reading but it is good for some laughs. ( )