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The Argument Culture: Stopping America's War of Words

di Deborah Tannen

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357472,146 (3.64)5
The Argument Culture is about a pervasive warlike atmosphere that makes us approach anything we need to accomplish as a fight between two opposing sides. The argument culture urges us to regard the world--and the people in it--in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: The best way to explore an idea is to set up a debate; the best way to cover the news is to find spokespeople who express the most extreme, polarized views and present them as "both sides"; the best way to settle disputes is litigation that pits one party against the other; the best way to begin an essay is to oppose someone; and the best way to show you're really thinking is to criticize and attack. Sometimes these approaches work well, but often they create more problems than they solve. Our public encounters have become more and more like having an argument with a spouse: You're not trying to understand what the other person is saying; you're just trying to win the argument. But just as spouses have to learn ways of settling differences without inflicting real damage on each other, so we, as a society, have to find constructive and creative ways of resolving disputes and differences. Public discussions require making an argument for a point of view, not having an argument--as in having a fight. The war on drugs, the war on cancer, the battle of the sexes, politicians' turf battles--in the argument culture, war metaphors pervade our talk and shape our thinking. Tannen shows how deeply entrenched this cultural tendency is, the forms it takes, and how it affects us every day--sometimes in useful ways, but often causing, rather than avoiding, damage. In the argument culture, the quality of information we receive is compromised, and our spirits are corroded by living in an atmosphere of unrelenting contention. Tannen explores the roots of the argument culture, the role played by gender, and how other cultures suggest alternative ways to negotiate disagreement and mediate conflicts--and make things better, in public and in private, wherever people are trying to resolve differences and get things done. The Argument Culture is a remarkable book that will change forever the way you perceive the world. You will listen to our public voices in a whole new way.… (altro)
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contends that making every issue a debate is detrimental to public policy
  ritaer | Jun 29, 2021 |
Although this book is a few years old, it is even more sharply applicable. The first few chapters are the laying out of data and can seem scattered but the final few chapters pull together her ideas in a powerful way. I agreed more and more as I read and saw how the culture of critque and agonism has created many of the scenarios she predicts (less than half the population voting in the 2000 election). Should be required reading for anyone invovled in public discourse in ANY way. I can only hope that the horror of the terrorist attacks will perhaps cause some of the argument culture to fade away. Now, more than ever, we need thoughtful reflection.
1 vota amyem58 | Jul 11, 2014 |
Ms. Tannen's writing style is engaging, her anecdotes were interesting and her conclusions seemed plausible... at first, anyway. Unfortunately, her reasoning (particularly her over-generalizations) drove me bonkers. ( )
1 vota thewalkinggirl | Feb 19, 2012 |
Preaching to the choir. Only she’s much less skeptical about the intentionality of it all, at least on certain levels, than I am.

And goodness, but so many words to say this. Repetitive and not really all that illuminating.

I know; I sound very critical, and after reading this book I should be more collaborative or supportive or what have you. I actually agree with much of what she says, which is why I shouldn't feel like I had to wade through all of that, like it was more of an obligation than a free pursuit.

I guess if you have no idea what she is talking about, or if your first response to the idea of America as being rife with antagonism is a reflexive denial or dismissal, then this is the book for you. ( )
1 vota moiraji | Sep 4, 2010 |
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To Miriam Tannen and Naomi Tannen my sisters in every sense of the word
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This is not another book about civility.
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The Argument Culture is about a pervasive warlike atmosphere that makes us approach anything we need to accomplish as a fight between two opposing sides. The argument culture urges us to regard the world--and the people in it--in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: The best way to explore an idea is to set up a debate; the best way to cover the news is to find spokespeople who express the most extreme, polarized views and present them as "both sides"; the best way to settle disputes is litigation that pits one party against the other; the best way to begin an essay is to oppose someone; and the best way to show you're really thinking is to criticize and attack. Sometimes these approaches work well, but often they create more problems than they solve. Our public encounters have become more and more like having an argument with a spouse: You're not trying to understand what the other person is saying; you're just trying to win the argument. But just as spouses have to learn ways of settling differences without inflicting real damage on each other, so we, as a society, have to find constructive and creative ways of resolving disputes and differences. Public discussions require making an argument for a point of view, not having an argument--as in having a fight. The war on drugs, the war on cancer, the battle of the sexes, politicians' turf battles--in the argument culture, war metaphors pervade our talk and shape our thinking. Tannen shows how deeply entrenched this cultural tendency is, the forms it takes, and how it affects us every day--sometimes in useful ways, but often causing, rather than avoiding, damage. In the argument culture, the quality of information we receive is compromised, and our spirits are corroded by living in an atmosphere of unrelenting contention. Tannen explores the roots of the argument culture, the role played by gender, and how other cultures suggest alternative ways to negotiate disagreement and mediate conflicts--and make things better, in public and in private, wherever people are trying to resolve differences and get things done. The Argument Culture is a remarkable book that will change forever the way you perceive the world. You will listen to our public voices in a whole new way.

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