If you haven’t heard of the NXIVM cult, it started out as a self-help type organization with expensive personal and professional development seminars that were supposed to help you realize your full potential as a human. It was structured as an MLM – the more people a member brought in and got to sign up for the seminars, the more money the member made. Of course, most of the money went back into the company as there were always more seminars and workshops for members to pay for and attend.

Edmondson was in NXIVM for years, slowly working her way up the ranks when one day her best friend, who was one of the highest-ranking people in the organization, asked her to be in a secret club where Sarah would be the slave and she would be the master. She sold it to her as a group of women helping other women grow and develop. However, it soon became clear that wasn’t the case. The “slaves” were actually being groomed to be sex slaves for NXIVM’s leader.

You may recall when actress Allison Mack was arrested for sex trafficking. I was shocked that the fresh-faced blond could have been involved in something so sinister. I was hoping that Scarred would give me some background on Mack and how she became involved and ended up the head sex slave master but it didn’t. Edmondson was based in Canada and ran what could be described as a branch office of NXIVM, while Mack, her slaves, and the organization’s headquarters were based in Albany. This turned out to be very lucky for Edmondson. She was able to remain on the periphery of the sex cult. However, that means that her book doesn’t have many details about what the lives of the woman having to interact with Mack in person was like. There are two documentary series about the cult that I’m told have a lot more information about the nitty-gritty than this book does. I’m afraid to say that this book was a bit of a snooze. It piqued my interest in NXIVM but I was left wanting more. ( )

Look, I really don't like giving lower star ratings for books containing deeply traumatic lived experiences BUT there was just something about this story that didn't sit well with me, it needed some serious editing and I couldn't connect with the author at all. At times I wanted to throw the book across the room, each time I read the words 'green smoothie' a rage like no other just swept through my body, how many times can you insert your love of green smoothies in a memoir about escaping a cult?! Half way through I was sick of reading all the NXIVM cult jargon and had to keep pushing myself to finish it. I finally got there in the end.
I wanted to hear more about Sarah's story and her escape from the self-help cult NXIVM, after having recently read the New York Times exposé Article and listened to the CBC podcast 'Uncover' (which I would highly recommend! ) I was excited to learn that Sarah had written a personal account and even better that a copy just landed in the bookstore I work at. Although I finished the book in only a couple of sittings, it just *really, really* wasn't for me and I wish I just stuck with the podcast. ( )