Lighthearted look at growing up gay in America. Consists of several essays rather than following a storyline or timeline. Author had a habit of making his voice go up at the end of sentences that I found mildly annoying. ( )

Janetti and I are the same age, so I can relate to some of his childhood memories. I was delighted to read that he contributed greatly to Will & Grace and Vicious—I enjoy(ed) both of those shows immensely. ( )

Quick read but I did not find it interesting. Guess I am too old for this kind of humor. ( )

If I admit that I have (had) no idea who Gary Janetti is, you might wonder at my interest in reading this book. Truly, I had no idea that he wrote for very popular tv shows, or that he has a famous boyfriend, or that his Instagram is apparently hilarious (note to self: check that out), or that he has a tv show of his own coming. But I believe that funny books that only rely on the author's reputation are generally not funny and that truly funny books can survive me having less than zero pop culture knowledge about their authors. This was certainly true with Gary Janetti's collection of personal essays Do You Mind If I Cancel?

These short pieces chronicle Janetti's life as a child and young man, when he wasn't any more fame adjacent than the rest of us, never mind actually well-known in his field. He details his early addiction to soap operas and their importance in forming him as a young gay man. He writes about learning to be comfortable in his own skin (although he seems to always have had quite a healthy appreciation for his own good looks whatever he felt about himself otherwise). He shares not only the string of mediocre jobs he saw only as stop-gaps to gain experiences for him to mine in his future careers as author and/or actor but also how incredibly terrible he was at these low paying, service-oriented careers. He writes of all of these things entertainingly and he's funny, having certainly mastered the witty aside. His imagination as a child (or perhaps his imagined childhood imagination from an adult perspective--are you confused yet?) was over the top but he's clearly no stranger to hyperbole as an adult either. The collection is mostly light and quippy with one small but quite poignant nod to the AIDS crisis in the 80s and is therefore a speedy, breezy read. What it misses are the essays of him actually becoming a writer, of making it, of what he went through to get to the place he's in in his life now, or at least where he stands in the last essay of the book, having looked back and now looking to the future. But maybe those missing essays wouldn't match the chatty, friendly, and casual tone of the included essays. Who knows? So this is a dishy bit of fun that feels like there's something a little more serious missing. But if you want a good, harmless gossip on the couch with your exaggerated, showy friend, this is just the ticket. ( )

The first time I saw Gary Janetti was in his husband’s series “It’s a Brad Brad World” about the celebrity stylist Brad Goreski who had been the long-suffering new hire on Rachel Zoe’s show. I was happy to see him launch independently and watched the show. Gary seemed one of those prickly on the outside, mushy on the inside curmudgeons that I love, so I was excited to read his book. I like witty grumpy people and Do You Mind If I Cancel? delivers.

The eighteen essays are mostly about Janetti’s life growing up and before his success. He does write about meeting and falling in love with Brad, but his current life and his work for “Family Guy” and “Will and Grace” is not featured. Instead, we learn about his years as a bellhop. a Saks clerk, and a grocery cashier and his summer job leading a biking expedition around Europe. These stories are funny, quirky, and often highlight moments of self-realization and discovery.

Much of the focus is on Janetti’s self-discovery, not so much as a writer, but as a gay man learning to feel pride in himself. He talks about walking his sister home from her waitressing job where many of the waiters were gay men, men whose friendliness and kindness made him feel better about himself.

Do You Mind If I Cancel? is a delightful collection of personal essays written with humor and compassion for his younger self. I enjoyed it a lot, but there is a huge missing element. Janetti writes about his life until he begins his writing career and about his relationship with his husband, Brad. He writes about his jobs when he was hoping to write, but was not writing. However, there is nothing about becoming a successful writer, the most interesting thing about him. Perhaps he has another book in the works, but it felt like a huge missing element of this book.

I received an ARC of Do You Mind If I Cancel? from the publisher through Shelf Awareness.

Do You Mind If I Cancel? at Flatiron Books | Macmillan

Gary Janetti on Instagram

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