This review is posted on both my personal account and the account for Crossroads Public Library.

Ellis has General Anxiety Disorder and her life revolves around what if's. What if an earthquake strikes, what if there's a tsunami, what if a volcano erupts and covers the world in ash? Ellis is very concerned about the end of the world. So when she meets a girl who tells her she knows when it's going to happen, Ellis decides to go all in.

Katie Henry's depiction of GAD was spot-on (to me, personally). Anxiety Disorder is a spiteful voice telling you all of the things you're doing wrong. And it's a constant state of worrying, even over seemingly intangible things like the end of the world.

This is the second book I've read from her where religion plays a major part. Ellis is a Mormon, and while her family is fairly liberal for the church, the rules of the church are also the family's foundation. Sometimes religion can be a little tricky to write about, but just like with Heretic's Anonymous, I felt like Henry handled it respectfully.

There were some small problems I had with the character development, but it was mostly fine-tuning stuff that I think we'll see in the final product. Hannah was hard to like - I tried to be sympathetic, because she did have a rough time of it. But mostly I was just frustrated with the character. I also loved Sam and Theo, but they felt very much like secondary characters. Overall, I think a little fleshing out would benefit some of the background characters.

Thanks to Edelweiss and Katherine Tegen Books for providing me with an Advanced Reader Copy. ( )

I don't personally get much mileage out of the concept of "books I could have used when I was a teen." This one is, instead, a book that helped me have compassion for the teen I used to be and was a great comfort for the adult I became. ( )

Ellis Kimball doesn’t entirely fit in, not because she’s a Mormon teenager living in San Francisco, but because she can’t stop her mind from fixating on the impending apocalypse. She’s tried to think of every possible way the world will end, and has prepared for each one. Her family fails to understand why she has this obsession with plagues, natural disasters, and a fear for anything that could result in danger. Desperate, her parents send her to a therapist in hopes that it will cure Ellis of her overwhelming anxiety. Instead, therapy introduces Ellis to Hannah Marks, a fellow patient and a girl who so happens to know when the apocalypse will happen. Can they save the world in time? This book does a wonderful job in describing what it’s like to have a severe anxiety disorder, and readers will appreciate Ellis’ journey in finding power and her own voice in overcoming her mental illness. ( )

In comparison to other Doomsday preppers, Ellis is “the picture of normalcy. June Cleaver with freeze-dried casseroles. Betty Crocker in a gas mask” (Henry 189).

Ellis thinks the world is ending, and she really can’t think about anything else.
She is a hilarious and anxiety-inducing character, relatable even if you don’t have anxiety...even if you’ve never considered setting a therapy couch on fire in order to bail on your therapist (36). 🔥

Author Katie Henry realistically and authentically writes about mental illness without romanticizing anxiety, even though idea of an apocalyptic winter-whiteout of San Francisco is decidedly romantic. While packing her emergency kits for the End, Ellis is forced to unpack her feelings of unworthiness for both her family and the afterlife, fears about relationships and faith, and her identity itself.

One of the ways Ellis deals with her anxiety is delving into etymology, the history and meaning of words, and so I know all my fellow word nerds (and English students/teachers) and going to LOVE this book. This line spoke to me (with its mouth full): “Food is a human need. Books are a human need. It’s cruel to make a person choose” (26). Amazing.

Ellis learns that “All words have power: not just the polite ones,” which is a revelation in and of itself; we should all learn how to tell our intrusive thoughts to back the heck off and let us focus on what we want to survive for (276). Revelations like these are like little apocalypses. After all, the word apocalypse “means to uncover what’s been hidden”—maybe the end of the world can be as small as a step in a new direction (243).

“What are you surviving for? What’s going to make it matter that you’re alive” 253

“Golden Gate Park should be the perfect environment for some light doomsday preaching” 260

Seeing small growth—braving a climb, talking to mom, crying in therapy, believing Tal about perfection

“Maybe good and scary aren’t antonyms” 286

She is such a word geek, bookstagram and English teachers are gonna love her “is there anything that makes your heart jump more, than someone wanting to keep your words?” 287

“What-ifs don’t solve a single thing. I’m done with them” when she’s trying to save Danny 364

There are many things we don’t know, but knowning and believing are different “belief might even be better, because belief is a choice” 385 ( )