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Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a ****!: The Sunday Times Number One Bestselling Author (2019)

di Gill Sims

Serie: Why Mummy (3)

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482531,221 (4.06)1
Family begins with a capital eff.I'm wondering how many more f*cking 'phases' I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me 'it's just a phase!' for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is 'just a phase.' Potty training and the associated accidents 'is just a phase'. The tantrums of the terrible twos are 'just a phase'. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All 'just phases!' When do the 'phases' end though? WHEN? Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight - a dragon badger or a ninja horse - they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts - except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.… (altro)
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Why do I love these books so much? I'm not quite sure, but the mix of parenting satire, humor, irreverence, and occasional heartwarming seriousness seems to work very well for me. Recommended for parents who like Dave Barry and lots of swearing. ( )
  caimanjosh | Jun 18, 2023 |
I’d been awake for 30 odd hours and was looking for something light to read as I waited for the sleeping tablet to take effect when I spotted Gill Sims latest and thought it would be perfect, having read and enjoyed Why Mummy Drinks and Why Mummy Swears sometime last year.

A spin off of her successful mummy blog/Facebook page ‘Peter and Jane’, described as an ‘honest, sweary, tongue-in-cheek account of a pretty normal, middle-class Scottish family’, Sims’ books are an exaggeration of the mundanity of family life. The books are best read in order, as the family ‘grows’ through each book.

In Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a ****, Ellen’s marriage has collapsed after Simon confessed to sleeping with another woman on a business trip, and Ellen has moved into the cottage of her dreams (except for the damp, the single bathroom, and brambles rather than roses by the door) with their teenagers, Peter who is 13 and Jane who is 15.

I found Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a **** mostly hilarious, even though it doesn’t really bear much relation to my own life.

Ok, so I do have a houseful of teens (2 girls, 2 boys) so I’m familiar with the drama of teenage girls, and the ability of teenage boys to inhale the contents of the fridge within hours of it being filled, and I might have turned of the wifi once or twice in order to get their attention, but I’d never tolerate Jane’s behaviour, or her drinking habits (my kids will want to be much more subtle).

And ok, I may have a piece of furniture or two deliberately placed to hide a stain in the carpet (and a teeny hole in the wall) but I don’t have any dogs, or chickens, I rarely drink, and I still have a husband, so I don’t have to brave the horrors of online dating as a newly single woman in my mid 40’s.

Fair warning, the language is crude (those asterisks in the title barely mask the F-word which is used liberally through the novel), there’s an awkward sex scene, a passing mention of crusty socks, and a lot of drinking, but there are some brief moments of seriousness related to divorce and loss.

Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a **** , like Gill Sims previous novels, was an easy, quick and fun read. ( )
  shelleyraec | Jun 1, 2019 |
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Family begins with a capital eff.I'm wondering how many more f*cking 'phases' I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me 'it's just a phase!' for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is 'just a phase.' Potty training and the associated accidents 'is just a phase'. The tantrums of the terrible twos are 'just a phase'. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All 'just phases!' When do the 'phases' end though? WHEN? Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight - a dragon badger or a ninja horse - they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts - except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.

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