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The Elephant in the Room: One Fat Man's Quest to Get Smaller in a Growing America

di Tommy Tomlinson

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11713231,636 (3.6)1
"So begins The Elephant in the Room, Tommy Tomlinson's remarkably intimate and insightful memoir of his life as a fat man. When he was almost fifty years old, Tomlinson weighed an astonishing--and dangerous--460 pounds, at risk for heart disease, diabetes, and stroke, unable to climb a flight of stairs without having to catch his breath, or travel on an airplane without buying two seats. Raised in a family that loved food, he had been aware of the problem for years, seeing doctors and trying diets from the time he was a preteen. But nothing worked, and every time he tried to make a change, it didn't go the way he planned--in fact, he wasn't sure that he really wanted to change. In The Elephant in the Room, Tomlinson chronicles his lifelong battle with weight in a voice that combines the urgency of Roxane Gay's Hunger with the intimacy of Rick Bragg's All Over but the Shoutin'. He also hits the road to meet other members of the plus-sized tribe in an attempt to understand how, as a nation, we got to this point. From buying a FitBit and setting exercise goals to contemplating the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas, America's "capital of food porn," and modifying his own diet, Tomlinson brings us along on a candid and sometimes brutal look at the everyday experience of being constantly aware of your size. Over the course of the book, he confronts these issues head-on and chronicles the practical steps he has to take--big and small--to lose weight by the end. Affecting and searingly honest, The Elephant in the Room is a powerful memoir that will resonate with anyone who has grappled with addiction, shame, or self-consciousness. It is also a literary triumph that will stay with readers long after the last page."--Pages [2-3] of cover.… (altro)
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Tommy Tomlinson comes to terms with being both a good person, and a liar. He's been lying to his friends, his family, his wife, and most of all himself, about his food addiction, and his weight. For the first time, in this book, he admits to the actual number on the scale, how he reached it and why he thinks he landed there. This is not a woe is me it's everyone else's fault kind of story. Nor is it a follow me and I'll teach you to drop 50 pounds a month manual. It's an honest and heart felt memoir of growing up big, in a family where food was used to celebrate triumphs as much as it was to console and soothe loss. Anyone who has ever struggled with their weight or is still struggling now can relate to this, and anyone who has ever looked at larger people and wondered how they let themselves get so big could benefit from this read.

I received an advance copy for review. ( )
  IreneCole | Jul 27, 2022 |
A well-told story of a man on a quest to overcome, or accept, the severe weight challenges that have dogged him his whole life. Because Tomlinson is a gifted journalist, he manages to tell this story with clarity, objectivity, and a capable awareness of which details matter to the reader, and what can get left on the editing room floor.

This may or may not be a spoiler, but here goes: This is not the story of a man who miraculously discovers how to unearth his thinner, healthier self so we spend the last act of the book reveling in his newfound svelteness. He makes doggedly determined, small steps toward a better life, with a hell of a lot of detours along the way. He maxes out at well over 400 lbs, struggles with the inner demons of not being worthy of love, of embarrassment at taking a seat at a ballgame or on an airplane. He speaks honestly about how food has been a balm for him, a safe haven when fear or uncertainty crept in or reassurance was needed. I believe his story will help many understand the issue of 'food addiction' in a way they maybe had not before.

His story is not one of neglect or abuse. He has a loving family, a wife he can't believe looked twice at him, much less wanted to spend her life with him, and he is very confident in his capabilities as a writer and observer of the human condition.

Tomlinson is from the south, and much of the story takes place in Georgia and surrounding states, so it's familiar terrain for me as a reader. Along the way, he shares insights on music, sports, race, and other topics he's had the opportunity to specialize in as a journalist, mostly as a pathway to tell the story of where he was at a particular time in his career/life in conjunction with his health issues (obesity, cancer, etc).

It's a quick and easy read, but that's not to say it's not well-written. It is, in fact, because it is so well-written that it moves along at such an unobstructed, brisk pace.

For anyone who has struggled to lose 10, 20, 100, or 200 lbs; or for anyone who has looked at a heavy person and said "why don't they lose weight?", this book is a worthwhile read. It shows there are no easy answers, other than showing up, and not letting discouragement win the day. It also reminds us that there's a lot of misinformation and cruelty out there, and we would do well to humanize those we objectify. Tomlinson does a marvelous job at this, evoking empathy without ever falling into self-pity. ( )
  TommyHousworth | Feb 5, 2022 |
The Elephant in the Room is a powerful look at what it is like to be a severely overweight man in a society that is obsessed with physical appearance. Tomlinson writes openly and honestly as he struggles with changing his life in an effort to lose a large amount of weight.

This book is not a "how to" and is written as more of a memoir. Tomlinson is self-aware and reflects on the choices and situations that helped get him into this situation, how the world around him reacted to him, and what he had to do to make big changes in his own life. This was a deeply personal story and I found it very approachable and relatable. Tomlinson has a great outlook on life that very much came across in his writing.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own. ( )
  genthebookworm | Dec 19, 2020 |
Tommy Tomlinson is an acclaimed journalist, a happily married man, middle aged, intelligent, witty....and overweight. The Elephant in the Room is a book about his struggle with weight, heartfelt discussion on how his weight effects his life, thoughts on his writing career, family, and life in general.

This book is a bit like sitting across the dinner table with Tommy Tomlinson and just listening to him talk. He's funny, witty, emotional and serious. He started out at 460 pounds....he faced entering his 50s feeling like the largest person in the room. He laments that he is likely the largest person most people will ever see. So, he decided to do something about it.....

This book doesn't end with a shocking before/after set of pictures with Tommy touting some wonder drug or surgery for his complete success. He admits he is a work in progress, sharing his thoughts and emotions about the journey.

I jumped at the chance to review this book because Tomlinson is from Charlotte, NC...just an hour from where I live. I understand the struggles with trying to lose weight in the south where everything is fried and tea comes to the table with about a cup of sugar in each glass (ugh -- I was born in the Midwest. Sweet tea is about the nastiest concoction on the planet. And even after 15 years in NC, when I ask for unsweet tea, I still get confused looks and then commentary about how weird it is that I don't drink sweet tea. And I won't even start on the comments I get when I pass up grits, pimento cheese spread or liver mush.)

I enjoyed this book. Tomlison is real and open....he's sharing his life, his struggles. The story isn't just for people who are struggling with weight...but anybody who faces a challenge and needs motivation. He doesn't offer some magic fix or spend long chapters talking about how he did it and anybody can. It's all about the journey. And he's making progress!

Proud of you, Tommy! Keep going! :)

**I voluntarily read an advanced readers copy of this book from Simon & Schuster via NetGalley. All opinions expressed are entirely my own.** ( )
  JuliW | Nov 22, 2020 |
This is a memoir-style book that goes all the way back to the author's family history to determine how he got addicted to food and gained hundreds of excess pounds, then how he planned to lose enough weight to more fully live his life. In between the history bits, Tomlinson brings us through his journalism career, marriage, and life in the South. I do agree with other reviewers that called it honest, too; no one in his sphere is either totally innocent or totally culpable but everyone is unmistakably human. Very richly told and original, and I flew through it in less than three days. ( )
  jonerthon | Jul 12, 2020 |
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"So begins The Elephant in the Room, Tommy Tomlinson's remarkably intimate and insightful memoir of his life as a fat man. When he was almost fifty years old, Tomlinson weighed an astonishing--and dangerous--460 pounds, at risk for heart disease, diabetes, and stroke, unable to climb a flight of stairs without having to catch his breath, or travel on an airplane without buying two seats. Raised in a family that loved food, he had been aware of the problem for years, seeing doctors and trying diets from the time he was a preteen. But nothing worked, and every time he tried to make a change, it didn't go the way he planned--in fact, he wasn't sure that he really wanted to change. In The Elephant in the Room, Tomlinson chronicles his lifelong battle with weight in a voice that combines the urgency of Roxane Gay's Hunger with the intimacy of Rick Bragg's All Over but the Shoutin'. He also hits the road to meet other members of the plus-sized tribe in an attempt to understand how, as a nation, we got to this point. From buying a FitBit and setting exercise goals to contemplating the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas, America's "capital of food porn," and modifying his own diet, Tomlinson brings us along on a candid and sometimes brutal look at the everyday experience of being constantly aware of your size. Over the course of the book, he confronts these issues head-on and chronicles the practical steps he has to take--big and small--to lose weight by the end. Affecting and searingly honest, The Elephant in the Room is a powerful memoir that will resonate with anyone who has grappled with addiction, shame, or self-consciousness. It is also a literary triumph that will stay with readers long after the last page."--Pages [2-3] of cover.

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