Kerri Rawson is the daughter of Dennis Rader, and her life was forever changed when an FBI agent came to her door in 2005 and informed her that her father was being arrested because he was suspected of being the BTK serial killer. This memoir is more about Kerri’s life and the emotional, mental, and spiritual struggle that she went through when the truth about her father was revealed than about the crimes that he committed. She tells about what her life was like growing up, and in many ways, it seems like a normal childhood with a family that had issues but nothing too out of the ordinary. But of course there were secrets and when they were revealed it took a long time and some hard work for Kerri to work through the trauma and the truths of her life. I was fascinated by her story, and so impressed by her candidness and the strength and faith that she has. It took quite a bit of help for her to get where she is today, and she has learned so much about dealing with PTSD, forgiveness, and seeking God’s light in the midst of darkness. Not always an easy or uplifting story, but one well worth hearing. ( )

Truly Scary

Having been an avid reader for several years, consistently devouring anywhere from 65 to my highest record of 227 books per year, true crime has become an essential component of my literary mix. The recommendation for this book came from a coworker with whom I've been exchanging reading suggestions over the past few months. This exploration into the world of BTK was part of her list of must-reads.

Although I'm grateful to have read it, I must admit that this true crime narrative proved to be exceptionally challenging, even with its relatively short duration of six and a half hours. Let me begin my review by acknowledging that it's a powerful story. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to Kerri and her family, and I commend her for not only penning this book but also for the courage to share her deeply personal narrative with the public.
This audiobook proved to be a satisfactory to commendable experience. While the narrative exhibited a degree of repetition, this could be deemed understandable, given the relentless spiral of shame and the excruciating aftermath that the family endures while unraveling the harrowing details of Dennis Rader's heinous deeds.
What piques my curiosity is the apparent absence of dysfunction within the family despite this man's dark and disturbing personality. While there were instances of him losing his temper, his wife's response typically involved suggesting he step outside. More alarming were two incidents where he came dangerously close to strangling his son, only to be thwarted by his wife's intervention. Acknowledging his short fuse, it's perplexing that Dennis Rader's children did not distance themselves from him as a result. His daughter even speaks of him as a great father. It's only during his incarceration that she begins to recognize his narcissistic traits, occasionally labeling him a con man. The revelation of his malevolent schemes in their childhood home triggers anger at being deceived.

She briefly touches upon his childhood acts of animal abuse and his morbid fascination with murder. However, the book falls short of delving into the potential reasons behind his development of a criminal mind in childhood.

In the initial chapters, Kerri, away at college and grappling with severe depression, doesn't attribute her emotional struggles to events from her childhood. Remarkably, her father actively supports her during this period, making weekend visits to aid in her battle against depression.

The family photos depict a seemingly normal life, with fishing trips and outdoor adventures, showcasing a father who loved the outdoors. The stark contrast between this façade and the concealed murderous capacity and violent tendencies is deeply unsettling.

The deception that allowed a man to conceal his homicidal inclinations from his wife and family is profoundly disturbing. My sympathies extend to Kerri and the entire family for enduring such a chilling revelation.
If you're a true crime enthusiast, consider clicking the link below. I recommend approaching this one with caution; it delves much deeper into darkness than I initially anticipated.

( )

The worst book I've read this year. Not at all what I expected. Some parts were good, like some passages from the Bible, the title of chapters, some pithets. But overall, disappointing. One chapter from the Ted Bundy book called "Phantom Prince" which was written by the 'step-daughter' sorts of Bundy, was way better than this entire book. ( )

This was a good story. The title is very fitting and I am sure it took a lot of courage for her to share such a personal thing.

I gave the book 3 stars (I really wish for 1/2 stars on here). I more than "liked" it but didn't "really like" it; if that makes sense. I agree with other comments, I was looking for more of a story about Dennis Rader, the BTK, but did find her story interesting. I'm happy she has found a way to deal with her trauma in a constructive way and very much admire her husband for loving and supporting her the way he does. ( )

Yeah, so my first impression of this book was that it was way too focused on God, which I understand is important to the author and I respect that, but I personally do not care about it at all. So I was expecting to not enjoy the book.

But I was wrong. Yes, God is present the entire way through, but at the same time, I feel like she has earned the right to find solace and peace however she needs to. The "boring" start which is just about faith and the first part of her life works really well when you get to the part where BTK is caught because you kinda go on that journey with Kerri Rawson. Like, even knowing who he is it makes no sense that he was able to be this family man and then commit horrible murders. There are zero answers there.

Though there is definitely something missing from the early part. Obviously she is not obligated to air all the dirty laundry from her family history, but she does go back and mention a few times when he lost his temper and was abusive and it is pretty obvious there's more there than she maybe cared to admit in the book.

Anyway, I enjoyed the book and I still maintain BTK is the lamest serial killer ever. I mean, who names themselves like that? Lame. ( )