A "sad story of two small boys in the sea- one survives, one dies..." (p. 266)
Richard Beard wrote this book to document the attempt at rediscovering the memories he repressed after the death of his brother in 1978. His family, mostly he, his mother, and his father tried to "get on with it" and ignore their grief, sorrow, and guilt.
Richard felt guilt because, unbeknownst to ANYONE, he was actually with his brother in the ocean that day. He feels guilty that he was competitive with his brother. He feels guilty that he grew to be an adult and his brother did not. His mother and father felt guilt for not being able to keep their son safe.
This type of guilt and "getting on with it" is a common reaction to a sudden death... I have experienced it in my own life.
My problem is that he admits and revels in his "cold English heart". He dreams of "waterboarding" his mother, (p.275), even though he can imagine her "swallowing her heart" as she leaves the beach with her son lost to the sea. On his father's death bed, he refuses to take his father's hand when his dad reaches out to him. "A bit late now for emotional needs..." (p. 251)
He even asks the elderly rescuer how it felt to pull a dead drowned boy from the sea and "hard of heart" leans in close "to watch the tears as they form in his yellow- and -pale blue eyes". (p. 275)
So, though he attempts to honor and reclaim his brother's life, he ultimately learned nothing from this endeavor. He was able to identify the sorrow his family experienced, and relived the pain, forcing himself to visit the beach again and again. And he was able to feel long pent-up emotions,
he never develops empathy for the others involved. This is ultimately extremely disappointing. ( )

James Langton (Narrator)
This was a an incredible story
Very memorable will stay with me for a long time
Must read for anyone
( )

Richard Beard’s memoir The Day that Went Missing is a cathartic cleansing look at the death of his brother Nicky over forty years ago. Beard structures the book like an unraveling mystery as he investigates what really happened. He interviews family and friends along with his own dreams and recollections. Beard is an excellent writer and he uses all his literary powers to hash through the dysfunctional reaction to Nicky’s death in great detail. Emotionally the book falls short but that may be the point. You can decide for yourself. ( )

This was written by the brother of Nicholas Beard who drowned in the 1970's. Although the author, Richard was with his brother when he drowned, the family never spoke of Nicholas or talked about his death. I can't imagine not speaking of a family member after such a tragedy. The author had to dig through the attic to find pieces of his life. I am sure this was cathartic writing this book. ( )

This is such a tough book---the author is in such pain--pain that is there for over 40 years before he sort of forces himself to study it and it becomes this compelling book. It made me realize that almost everyone has things that happen in their life that change everything about that life they thought they were living. Is everything based on how we emotionally react and deal with what happens almost immediately? It seems that in Richard Beard's case, it might have helped the whole family to live in the present, understanding and talking about what had happened to Nicky. Instead, the entire happening went missing, affecting the author to an extremely painful degree because it was treated as if it almost never happened. Are we all better, knowing that PTSD has such a powerful control over what happens to really anyone experiencing an "event" ---no matter what that event involves? It's not an easy path as Richard Beard explains so well. ( )