Two and a half stars hesitantly rounded up to three.

I dearly wanted to enjoy The Change Room as it feels there are not many quality books about queer adult women. Unfortunately, it was a disjointed, shallow mess that never quite made clear what the author was trying to say. The concept was ripe for exploration: the complex sexualities of women in their thirties and forties, the subtle blindness of heteronormativity, the crushing burden of a wife's emotional labour, all things only very, very briefly touched on. Instead we were left with some distant musing on adulterous guilt and sexual compulsion that feels haphazard and shallow.

The main character is supposedly Eliza, a married 40-something mother to two sons and a small business owner. The other two major characters are Andrew, Eliza's 52 year old mathematician husband, and Shar, a worldly psychology student and casual sex worker in her thirties. Though the vast majority of the story is told from Eliza's point of view there are infrequent chapters from the perspectives of Shar and Andrew, and even Andrew's brother in an inexplicably placed latter chapter. The plot largely revolves around Eliza's passive dissatisfaction with the chaotic mundanity of her life and the affair she embarks on with Shar, a beautiful woman she meets in the change room showers at the local swimming pool.

The sex scenes are graphic and certainly more erotic than I'm used to reading. It managed to avoid all the sexual euphemisms and anatomically impossible cliches that I absolutely loathe, yet at the same time there was something about the sex scenes that I couldn't quite connect with. Interestingly, despite the book being entirely driven by Eliza's sexual desires, the first sex scene in the book, between Eliza and her husband Andrew, is almost entirely from his perspective. Yet the next, between Eliza and Shar, is almost entirely from Eliza's perspective, much like the majority of the book. I'm not sure if this was intended to make the audience have sympathy for Andrew, who clearly loves his wife despite the benign neglect, or to connect the reader more viscerally to Eliza's perspective and sexual appetite.

Though I never quite found myself able to connect to the relationship between Eliza and Shar, it was Eliza and Andrew's marriage that frustrated me the most. In many ways Andrew came across as a great husband, but the underlying disparity between that was infuriating. Eliza cooks, cleans, looks after the children, attends his work functions, and runs her own floral business. Andrew is frustrated by how she 'nags' him about doing his share of anything. In addition, he has a bad back so he rarely, if ever, wants sex. No thought of his wife's desires or a passing thought for how sex might work without his awkward thrusting. In that way, it's easy to relate to Eliza's sexual dissatisfaction. On the other hand, Eliza maintains that she loves Andrew and wants to remain married to him (all while carrying out an emotional and sexual affair with Shar) but I never understood why. She never seemed to think about him beyond passing guilt for cheating on him, never really thought of him fondly and was certainly never eager to spend time with him. Where was the love she was constantly saying she felt for him? It absolutely didn't come across in the text or subtext.

Likewise, Shar and Eliza's affair left me feeling cold. At first, the sexual relationship between them was understandable, given Eliza's general dissatisfaction with the lack of sexuality and sensuality in her life. But it grew and changed into a full-blown affair I was left wondering why Shar and Eliza were attracted to each other. Why any of the characters did everything wasn't really clear, they simply weren't given enough emotional depth for motivations to become clear.

Another puzzling piece of the story was the character of Andrew's brother. He is a erudite scholar, using academia to travel the world and otherwise live large. He's obnoxious and appears only at the very beginning and the very end of the book. Inexplicably, in a very, very late chapter it is revealed that he was groomed and sexually abused from the age of 11 to 15 by a female teacher. Why this was even necessary for what is otherwise a minor character that barely appears is mystifying. It didn't add to the overall theme of the story, or if it was supposed to, it didn't work so I'm left wondering what the point of including that background even was two or three chapters from the end.

All in all, The Change Room was a shoddy mess that never managed to live up to some of the concepts hinted at. I want to describe it as dispassionate, though that seems perhaps the wrong word for a novel that features so much graphic sex, but that's how I felt while reading, unable to immerse myself in the mindset of any character and instead finding them all grating and disappointingly emotionally empty. ( )

Karen Connelly is a beautiful writer and if this book hadn't been so filled with sex scenes and whiny, privileged white folk, I probably would have enjoyed it immensely. But it was, so I didn't.

There were descriptive passages in here that were so well-crafted and evocative, lesser mortals might weep. But so much of it involved extramarital ecstasy that it quickly become tiresome and, truthfully, I skipped over a good part of the second half of the book and didn't feel like I missed anything. I would happily read more of Connelly's work, provided it isn't more thinly disguised erotica.

Thank you to Penguin Random House for the free review copy. ( )

Definitely outside of my comfort zone, but a complex and gripping read! ( )

De meisjeskleedkamer door Karen Connelly

Beste boek van afgelopen jaar, zonder twijfel. Zelfs één van de beste boeken die ik ooit las.

Alles aan dit boek is goed. De cover is enorm mooi en voelt zacht aan. Het lettertype nodigt uit tot dieper in het verhaal duiken. En het verhaal is af. (Hoewel er een vervolg mag komen én een verfilming door Reese Whiterspoon.)

Het verhaal begint als Eliza, moeder van 2 kleine zoontjes, gelukkig getrouwd met Andrew (hoogleraar wiskunde) én mede-eigenaar van een goed draaiende bloemenzaak, ‘de Amazone’ bespiedt onder de douche van het zwembad. Eliza beseft dat seks het enige is dat ontbreekt in haar drukke, bevredigende leven. Ze houdt van haar man en haar gezin maar de passie die Shar (de Amazone) in haar losmaakt valt niet te negeren.

Hoofdstuk per hoofdstuk (allemaal van een perfecte lengte) word je dieper in het verhaal meegezogen, en afwisselend verblijf je in het hoofd van Eliza, Shar en Andrew. Die afwisseling van perspectief maakt dat je het verhaal langs alle kanten kan bekijken. Je ziet de schitterende façade maar ook de rommelige achterkant, het voelt alsof je een vlieg bent die alles vanop de eerste rij meemaakt.
Connelly schrijft beeldend zonder beschrijvend te zijn. Een gave. Elke scène, elke dialoog spat van het papier. Het verhaal zindert, de pen van Connelly maakt dat dit een zinnelijk verhaal is dat je nog lang zal bijblijven. En niet enkel om de mooie liefdevolle expliciete seksscènes.

Dit is een boek dat alles heeft: een goed verhaal en een meeslepend ritme. Het bevat een juiste dosis politiek (Griekenland), actuele problematiek (Iran, moslim extremisme) en maatschappelijke relevantie (sekswerkers, anders geaard zijn).
Bovenal is dit een boek dat grenzen verlegt, inspireert en ontroert. Dit is het verhaal van een vrouw die een groter libido heeft dan haar man en die niet bang is om zich te laten leiden door haar gevoelens en verlangens. Een sterke vrouw die zonder egoïstisch te zijn kiest om toe te geven aan haar drang naar geluk en genot. Een vrouw die beseft dat de enige manier om echt te leven bestaat uit volledig jezelf zijn.
(Het boek doet me denken aan een ander geweldig boek: De komst van de wolven van Sarah Hall, qua zinnelijke beschrijvingen even geweldig.)

Tijdens het lezen ga je nadenken over trouw-ontrouw, seksualiteit, identiteit, trouw zijn aan jezelf, eerlijk zijn, jezelf zijn en wat heeft een mens nodig om echt gelukkig te zijn.
Met Eliza heeft Connelly een vrouw geschapen die een voorbeeld is. Een vrouw die echt seksueel bevrijd is (het soort vrouw dat Maartje Laterveer in Vrouwen & seks bedoelt).
Een vrouw die de rol opneemt die meestal aan de man wordt toegeschreven, zonder ook maar één moment aan vrouwelijkheid in te boeten. Integendeel.
Dit boek kon op geen gepaster moment verschijnen (#metoo). ( )

About a dozen years ago, I read Karen Connelly’s The Lizard Cage which really impressed me, so I was looking forward to reading her new offering. It wasn’t what I expected.

If you haven’t already seen it, you might want to watch the YouTube video created for the book (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCQYR1_fHII). It will give you an idea of the reaction you might have to the book.

Forty-two-year-old Eliza Keenan is a busy woman; she is the co-owner of a flourishing floral business, the wife of a professor, and the mother of two boys. Hers is a happy marriage though she feels that she and her husband Andrew do not have sex frequently enough. Her other complaint is that she has so little time for herself. One day she encounters Shar (whom she nicknames “The Amazon”) and the two quickly embark on a sexual affair. What follows is predictable: trysts, guilt, fear of discovery, etc. The points of view of Eliza, Shar, and Andrew are given, though it is Eliza’s perspective that dominates.

Readers should be forewarned that there is a lot of explicit sex in the book. Eliza thinks that sex is “the most fundamental pleasure.” Shar, who is studying to be a sex therapist and has knowledge of sex work, views sex as restorative. She believes in what she calls ethical hedonism: “Sweetness for all, without causing pain to others.” (Of course, since Eliza is married and has a family, whether the latter is possible is a question that dominates.) One of the messages of the book seems to be that sexuality is fluid: sexuality does not necessarily stay in one place on the human sexuality spectrum but can vary over time depending on situations.

Eliza is not an especially likeable character. She feels trapped in a busy life of career, marriage, and family, but does little to improve her life balance. She wastes energy envying Shar’s freedom and complaining a lot. For example, they can well afford a housecleaner, and Andrew even encourages her to get one, but instead of persisting to find a satisfactory candidate, Eliza resentfully cleans herself. And she still manages to find time to sneak off and have sex regularly.

Steamy sex scenes notwithstanding, I found much of the book rather tedious. It tends to drag and, as I’ve suggested, it becomes predictable. Then, at other times, the book lacks focus. A number of topics are broached: the Arab spring, Greece’s economic woes, family secrets, the differences between Persians and Arabs, sexual assaults, imbalance of responsibilities within families, etc. The ending is also problematic; a major coincidence, some startling revelations, and an abrupt, indefinite conclusion will leave most readers unsatisfied.

If you’re looking for an erotic read, this book is for you; if you want more than just eroticism, give this book a pass.

Please check out my reader's blog (About a dozen years ago, I read Karen Connelly’s The Lizard Cage which really impressed me, so I was looking forward to reading her new offering. It wasn’t what I expected.

If you haven’t already seen it, you might want to watch the YouTube video created for the book (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCQYR1_fHII). It will give you an idea of the reaction you might have to the book.

Forty-two-year-old Eliza Keenan is a busy woman; she is the co-owner of a flourishing floral business, the wife of a professor, and the mother of two boys. Hers is a happy marriage though she feels that she and her husband Andrew do not have sex frequently enough. Her other complaint is that she has so little time for herself. One day she encounters Shar (whom she nicknames “The Amazon”) and the two quickly embark on a sexual affair. What follows is predictable: trysts, guilt, fear of discovery, etc. The points of view of Eliza, Shar, and Andrew are given, though it is Eliza’s perspective that dominates.

Readers should be forewarned that there is a lot of explicit sex in the book. Eliza thinks that sex is “the most fundamental pleasure.” Shar, who is studying to be a sex therapist and has knowledge of sex work, views sex as restorative. She believes in what she calls ethical hedonism: “Sweetness for all, without causing pain to others.” (Of course, since Eliza is married and has a family, whether the latter is possible is a question that dominates.) One of the messages of the book seems to be that sexuality is fluid: sexuality does not necessarily stay in one place on the human sexuality spectrum but can vary over time depending on situations.

Eliza is not an especially likeable character. She feels trapped in a busy life of career, marriage, and family, but does little to improve her life balance. She wastes energy envying Shar’s freedom and complaining a lot. For example, they can well afford a housecleaner, and Andrew even encourages her to get one, but instead of persisting to find a satisfactory candidate, Eliza resentfully cleans herself. And she still manages to find time to sneak off and have sex regularly.

Steamy sex scenes notwithstanding, I found much of the book rather tedious. It tends to drag and, as I’ve suggested, it becomes predictable. Then, at other times, the book lacks focus. A number of topics are broached: the Arab spring, Greece’s economic woes, family secrets, the differences between Persians and Arabs, sexual assaults, imbalance of responsibilities within families, etc. The ending is also problematic; a major coincidence, some startling revelations, and an abrupt, indefinite conclusion will leave most readers unsatisfied.

If you’re looking for an erotic read, this book is for you; if you want more than just eroticism, give this book a pass.

Please check out my reader's blog (About a dozen years ago, I read Karen Connelly’s The Lizard Cage which really impressed me, so I was looking forward to reading her new offering. It wasn’t what I expected.

If you haven’t already seen it, you might want to watch the YouTube video created for the book (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCQYR1_fHII). It will give you an idea of the reaction you might have to the book.

Forty-two-year-old Eliza Keenan is a busy woman; she is the co-owner of a flourishing floral business, the wife of a professor, and the mother of two boys. Hers is a happy marriage though she feels that she and her husband Andrew do not have sex frequently enough. Her other complaint is that she has so little time for herself. One day she encounters Shar (whom she nicknames “The Amazon”) and the two quickly embark on a sexual affair. What follows is predictable: trysts, guilt, fear of discovery, etc. The points of view of Eliza, Shar, and Andrew are given, though it is Eliza’s perspective that dominates.

Readers should be forewarned that there is a lot of explicit sex in the book. Eliza thinks that sex is “the most fundamental pleasure.” Shar, who is studying to be a sex therapist and has knowledge of sex work, views sex as restorative. She believes in what she calls ethical hedonism: “Sweetness for all, without causing pain to others.” (Of course, since Eliza is married and has a family, whether the latter is possible is a question that dominates.) One of the messages of the book seems to be that sexuality is fluid: sexuality does not necessarily stay in one place on the human sexuality spectrum but can vary over time depending on situations.

Eliza is not an especially likeable character. She feels trapped in a busy life of career, marriage, and family, but does little to improve her life balance. She wastes energy envying Shar’s freedom and complaining a lot. For example, they can well afford a housecleaner, and Andrew even encourages her to get one, but instead of persisting to find a satisfactory candidate, Eliza resentfully cleans herself. And she still manages to find time to sneak off and have sex regularly.

Steamy sex scenes notwithstanding, I found much of the book rather tedious. It tends to drag and, as I’ve suggested, it becomes predictable. Then, at other times, the book lacks focus. A number of topics are broached: the Arab spring, Greece’s economic woes, family secrets, the differences between Persians and Arabs, sexual assaults, imbalance of responsibilities within families, etc. The ending is also problematic; a major coincidence, some startling revelations, and an abrupt, indefinite conclusion will leave most readers unsatisfied.

If you’re looking for an erotic read, this book is for you; if you want more than just eroticism, give this book a pass.

Please check out my reader's blog (http://schatjesshelves.blogspot.ca/) and follow me on Twitter (@DCYakabuski). ( )